I have a question about risk assessment in terms of numbers. I see you quote on here many times of peoples theoretical risk in numbers and wondered if you could give me this. I had a very short fling with a coworker last year (aprox 3-4 times). She is a healthy married woman as well that donates blood regularly and is in her 50's. I was worried and ashamed at my actions and stopped it in august and was tested in sept,oct,and nov all NEG blood tests from p-doc. I did not have contact with this woman after that until she came back around in early jan and had 1 instance of unprotect vag with her in jan and 1 in march thats all...she was seperated from her then husband this year and was seeing another mature male in his 50's as well. He had a steady girlfriend in the phillipeans until about 1.5 years ago. This female i was with has been with the new man since last oct. and has donated blood twice since being with him(the last time in Feb)...Wouldnt the blood bank have caught something by now if she had it? I am very very very worried that he could have caught hiv from the phillipean woman, gave it to my coworker/friend between oct and march and she could have then transmitted it to me on the 1st (jan) or 2nd (march)occasion we had only unprotect vag for a moment or 2 max...Is this crazy talk?? This is ruining my life with all the obsessive worry... I am not eating well and lost weight as i am soo depressed. I also have had some night sweats lately but on torso only and never had fever or swolen lymph nodes or anything else..The sweats seem to be due to anxiety because they dont happen every night and are not drentching usually...No other std's ever and am circumsized male..I hate myself for this as i have a family and have a hard time forgiving myself for this and wondering if i have just signed the death sentance for my wife...Please help me understand doc...
You had a very similar question which Dr. Hook answered 6 months ago. His reply said in part "Your post overflows with guilt and anxiety.... There is no need for further worry,. There may however be a need, as your friends have already suggested, for you to seek professional help to deal with your anxiety and guilt."
Those statements are my conclusion as well. You describe a very low risk situation with respect to HIV. Any logical analysis indicates that there is no realistic chance your partner caught HIV between the time of her negative HIV test and your conrtact with her afterward. You provide additional, overwhelming evidence and self-awareness that your problem is purely psychological, with phrases like "This is ruining my life", "...i am soo depressed", "I hate myself for this" etc.
Of course feel free to have another HIV test if you think it will help you. But clearly you need more than that. I will be happy to take another follow-up comment on this thread if and when you report back on the professional mental health care you have started to get. Otherwise, I will delete any further comments on this thread. As Dr. Hook also said, the advice for professional counseling is made from compassion, not criticism.
If she donates blood, she tested negative for HIV. And your negative test further proves you don't have HIV. Zero chance you have HIV. Move on and get the professional help you need. That's all for this thread.
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