HIV - Prevention Expert Forum
Sex with Korean Massage Girl
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This forum is limited to prevention of HIV and to safe sex in general. All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

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Sex with Korean Massage Girl

I am a married man with a great sex life and a multi orgasmic wife.  For some reason I always desire other women for sex too.  Most of these women I meet casually and they claim I great in bed.  Sometimes to avoid the drama I will get an escort or visit a brothel( I always feel guilty because of the $ I Spend).  One of my favorites is to perform Oral on a woman.  Last summer I went to a massage parlor In Connecticut and during the message the Korean girl started to give me oral.  After a while I performed oral on her.  She begged me to "put it in".  Well I obliged, when I felt like I was ready to pop I realized I never put a condom on. She said its alright she's on the medicine(probably BC). I proceeded to ejaculate in her.  I freaked cleaned up and left.  About a month later I met her in a bar and we had unprotected oral and vaginal  and I came both times very quickly. This time was free and she has left the business.  She told me I was the only guy besides her old boyfriend to have sex like this.  Since then I have been scared to death.  However I have never been sick.  The other day I had sex with a escort protected except for mural oral in which she did cum while I was going oral. Now my wife has a UTI.  Can she have gotten the UTi from me?  I have sworn off my hidden life.  But everyonce inin a while I get the urge.  I am worried that the Korean may have given me an STD or worse.
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Welcome to the forum.

I'm confused by your sexual history.  Here you imply quite frequent extramarital commercial sexual exposure, but in the community forum you said your recent exposure was your only extramarital sexual contact in several years.  If this indeed is your only contact recently, there is little or no need for HIV testing, for the reasons outlined below (although STD testing may be wise.)  However, if you indeed have fairly frequent extramarital events, even if usually condom protected, then you should have regular HIV testing, perhaps once a year -- regardless of the recent specific events.

HIV is quite uncommon in Korea, so it is statistically unlikely your massage parlor partner is infected.  Even if she is, the chance of catching HIV during any single episode of unprotected vaginal sex has been estimated at somewhere around once for every 2,000 exposures.  (That's why even in monogamous couples, if one person has HIV, it's often several years before the partner becomes infected, and many never do, despite years of regular unprotected sex.)  And oral sex -- both fellatio and cunnilingus -- are extremely low risk, probably zero risk for practical purposes.

UTI's are very common in women, and often are triggered by sex.  Not because it's an STD (i.e. the bacteria are not transmitted from male partners) -- but because during sex, bacteria in the female genital area can be massaged into the urethra.  Another possibility, of course, is that you have chlamydia or gonorrhea without symptoms and transmitted it to her.  However, typical UTI symptoms usually are just that -- a UTI, not an STD.

So assuming your history here is accurate -- numerous extramarital exposures -- I definitely advise HIV testing and tests for common STDs (gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis).  I would make the same recommendation regardless of the specific recent exposures you have described.  In any case, I'm very confident your HIV test will be negative.  Probably your other STD tests also will be negative, but better safe than sorry, right?

But I don't think it is necessary to say anything to your wife.  You can cross that bridge, if necessary, if any of your tests turns up positive.

Best wishes-- HHH, MD
2 Comments
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Sorry for the confusion.  I was a virgin at marriage.  After about five years of marriage I was not getting any attention from the wife.  So I frequented brothels in NYC.  I stopped when we started to have children.  Then my job took me all over the world and my wife was involved in Fitness Competitions and was so wrapped up in herself that I began to see other women.  One day I realized I had spent at least 50k on my sexcapades.  Sp I just stopped. Then about two years ago I had a lot of blood work and everything came back excellent including STD's.  our marriage improved as did our sex life.  I think that I may be a little bipolar.  I seem to use sex to divert my thoughts.  About a year ago I came into some $$ and decided to get a "Happy Ending" which went further as stated above.  Since then I have had several other encounters with the same high priced escort, not the Asian girl anymore.  I don't know what it is but my wife is a 10 and white and my encounters are always with an Asian or Ebony girl .  The Asian was in her forties( I like older gals) the black girl is 25.  
I have sworn that I am done finished kaput.  I will never ever do this again.  If I do I will jump off a bridge ;). ,my marriage and home sex life is amazing and I just need to control myself, and my wallet,
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