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Avatar universal

Still freaking out feel suicidal

I am still freaking out---Dr handsfield has stated I do not have HIV based on risk assessment. I read on the body that the conference in MEXICO stated the stats used by CDC may be off and risk for heterosex even higher than expected. Also a poster asked him if he has treated patients with one time vaginal exposure Dr. Franscino said yes. He even posted a message sent by a guy who claimed to have been poz after a few seconds of hetero exposure---to prove to the other poster it happens...this guy infected his current GF.

You put me in a no need to test based on risk---in my original thread...I have been hounding this girl about her status and she gets even more nervous by the minute because of my crazy talk. I have never felt this way---I have a GF and want kids and she is wondering why i wont touch her....

The girl was educated--but from trinidad---and raised in the states---so why is she in the AA pop? The AA pop thats exposed to IV drug use and crack ******---or african immigrants---i understand---but shes browner than me---makes her statistically higher of having it?

DOES ANYONE HAVE ACCURATE DATA??? Its been since the 28--no fever just sore armpits...I am going to check into a hospital for fear of hurting myself...WHY IS THS HAPPENING--IT WAS A MISTAKE---seconds of sex...
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Avatar universal
you are trying to punish yourself due to the guilt you feel.  Read the number of other men on here who have said the same.  You are not alone.  Listen to the docotr's advice and seek some counseling.   People make mistakes-you had sex with someone outside your relationship.  You feel horrible about it.  But you can get past it.
Helpful - 1
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dr. Handsfield and I share the forum.  You got me.  FYI, the reason we share the forum is because we have worked together for nearly 30 years and while our verbiage styles vary, we have never disagreed on management strategies or advice to clients.  Perhaps it is for the best that you got me this day because I will amplify what Dr. Handsfield said a bit but try to get you to the same place he did- overall, your risk from a single exposure to a woman of African heritage from Trinidad was relatively low risk.

You are correct that in the past the CDC had underestimated the numbers of new HIV cases occurring in the US.  those figures have now been revised upwards.  They are more accurate but the message remains similar for you as an individual- the risk for any one individual and any one exposure remains low.  We now estimate there are about 60,000 new cases of HIV occurring each year in the U.S, out of a population of over 350,000,000.  Rates are higher for African American women than for whites but lower in the groups who continue to have the highest rates of new infections - men who have sex with other men and IV drug users, neither of which seem to apply to you or your partner.  Thus, most people, by far do not have HIV making sex with any new partner relatively low risk.  Sure, some partners are somewhat higher risk than others but overall, the risk remains relatively low.  Further, the risk of any 1 exposure is also low- 1 new infection per 1000 acts of vaginal intercourse.  Once again, that means that on occasion, very, very rarely a person could become HIV infected from a single act of intercourse, just as you could get hit by lightening today.  The fact is that most people do not, bringing us to Dr, Handsfield's statement that your own risk is very, very low.  So, the bottom line is, your risk is very., very low from the encounter you described.  Not no risk but close to it.  

Instead of hounding her, go get yourself tested.  You are now more than 3 weeks out from your exposure so, at this time, something around 75% of infections acquired 3 weeks ago would be detected.  The negative result that I am confident you will get should be reassuring.  Work to put this behind you.  The odds are very much in your favor.  EWH
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Negative at close to 5 weeks--god the drama...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
"the numbers and odds are irrelevant at this time, a risk is a risk....go thru the testing and be done with it"

SO what the Dr said is wrong? His post to me was irrelevant?
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Just wanted to say something, there is no need for a reply, as the doc said to end the thread, which I agree.

"The girl i had an encounter with told me today that I was neurotic and paranoid"

If you are pestering her about this....you are wrong and she is right, you ARE being neurotic and paranoic.  YOU need to take responsibility for your actions.  The numbers and odds are irrelevant at this time, a risk is a risk....go thru the testing and be done with it...but quit bothering this girl,  you entered into a mutual sexual relationship with her, and you are probably freaking her out.

This is YOUR risk to own.  Get tested at 3 months for a conclusive result and then put it behind you.  From now on....protect yourself with a condom each and every time you have anal or vaginal intercourse.  There should NEVER be a reason not to.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
In my opinion both the girl and clinical manager are correct. It isn't normal for someone to be so worked up over one episode of unprotected sex.

I suggest you stop coming back here and seek mental counseling. Your posts will only be deleted anyway at this point.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The girl i had an encounter with told me today that I was neurotic and paranoid. Then after I asked her more about her status she claimed that what we did was a mistake and she learned a valuable lesson and that so should have I...and that next time to wear a condom and not ask to go without one and then blame the woman for my neurotics...does this sound like shes stating she has something and if i got it its my fault? Made an appointment to test the 29th which will be week 5. I took to the clinical manager who said he expects me to test neg and that this issues is mental.
Helpful - 0
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Your question is rather difficult for me to follow.  I do not see and quotation marks to tell me what part of your post are quotes and what parts are not.  At the same time, it really does not matter because on the site we will not debate conflicting advice or thoughts, whether those come from the internet or your own doctor.  The assessments we give on this site represent our best judgment regarding the situation as described in your original question. Whether you believe me (us) or someone else is entirely up to you.

Furthermore, I do not know Dr. Francino, either personally or professionally and am not familiar with his background.  For me to assess the validity of what he says would be inappropriate and unprofessional.

The assessment of whether a 1 in 1000 (or 2000) chance of getting HIV is high, low or ridiculously low is not up to me but is up to you an reflects your own level of concern - it is totally subjective and personal.  There are some people who believe that if their odds of infecting are "only" 1 i n100, that is low (I wouldn’t agree with this).  To me, realizing that you do not know if your partner had HIV or not, when combined with the statistically low chance of transmission if she was infected makes your risk very low and not matter of great concern.

Bottom line, you need to make your own assessment about your risk.  Your description does not fall into the group for whom most Drs. worry a great deal and certainly does not suggest any need for PEP.

It is time for this thread to end.  Take care.  EWH

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dr. Frascino wasn't saying anything about your risk since you obviously weren't the person who asked the question. I still am mystified as to why you would think his answer applies to your situation.

It's not the doctors' problem that you spent $40 on two personalized risk assessments that you refuse to believe or are not capable of comprehending, and would rather take information from extraneous websites out of context.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You always must assume your partner is poz. Thats what most counselors out in the field say. I do want to get tested---but want to know what my risk is---I have been told on here that 1 in 2000 for a partner who is confirmed to be positive is low risk---Dr Francsino is stating that 5 in 10000 is not a low risk....So if I am paying my DR to tell me what my risk is---and another Doctor says my Doctor is wrong--then who do we trust...they are MD's and  the only difference between paying 20 here and my copay at my dr is that my dr is not specialized in HIV. I dont want to walk in to test half way passing out...because Dr Fran said I was a HIGH risk and here I am being told low to no---Dr Hansfield suggested not even testing---but only for peace of mind.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The doctor isn't here to debate you over your theory that you have HIV.

And Dr. Bob was referring to the risk from a _confirmed HIV positive woman_.  His response has nothing to do with your situation, since you don't even know your partner was infected.

The fact that you have seized upon that indicates you are clearly not thinking straight about your situation. Just get tested as the Dr. suggested and stop wasting time trolling the internet. It will just make you more anxious.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Here is a quote from the body.com by Dr Francsino. Is he not credible? Or
Please do not blow this off----again--Dr handsfield said from a risk assessment no need to test..

Here is the quote--from him to a poster

I would not agree with what you read in that magazine pertaining to the risk of an HIV-negative guy contracting HIV from an HIV-positive woman through (unprotected) vaginal sex. "Ridiculously low???" What???

As for your searching and searching and not finding information about estimated HIV-transmission risk, I can't believe you were searching all that hard. I just did a quick search and located about a gazillion posts with the information clearly spelled out. But, nonetheless, here it is once again:

1. Latex condoms are protective for all types of sex if used properly and they don't fail. HIV cannot penetrate, permeate or cha-cha-cha through intact latex. No way. No how.

2. The estimated per-act risk for acquisition of HIV from unprotected insertive penile-vaginal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 5 per 10,000 exposures. (This is not "ridiculously low" by any standard!)
Helpful - 0
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Probably.

No furhter "what if" questions.  You need to relax.  EWH
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thats what I mean---if I were to show symptoms---would I have by now?
Helpful - 0
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Your symptoms really do not match up withthe symptoms of HIV.  Swollen armpits could have any number of cuases, HIV being among the most unlikely.  thus, getting tested would be for your peace of mind.  That said, from your post, it seems that you could use some peace of mind.  EWH
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
the fact that its been 3 weeks and I have no symptoms that I know of--though symptoms are not indicative---dr handsfield has said if you know you have been exposed and you have symptoms test. On the other hand if its a low risk exposure and you do not have symptoms do not test-but only for a check up or peace of mind if need be...My armpits feel swollen--but I have no other symptoms but severe anxiety.--no fever...would i have had something like this by now if I was a one of those individuals who are symptomatic.
Helpful - 0

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