Stressed and depressed

[nervousone65]

Im a married man. 2 years ago exactly I had an affair. Local woman in the same town. During the affair we had unprotected anal sex, and vaginally, and she was on her menstruation. I didn't know, until afterwards. fast forward 2 years later to now. 2 months ago I came down with something, I couldn't eat, fatigue, and my bowels movements turned soft. Right before that happen I had been treated for strep with antibiotics, and days later after finishing the antibiotics these symptoms occurred. My doc believe its the antibiotics, I think its more. My appetite came back about a week and a half later. Cant say I completely lost it, but oddly, I only got extremely hungry at night, and ate a bunch of crap, I guess to make up for the day. Haven't lost lbs, actually gained. However 2 months later Im still having loose stools, and now I itch, and found little bumps on my stomach. I dont scratch them, but they still scar. been having neuropathy problems, where it feels like water drops are dripping on me. I guess I thought I was exempt since my wife and I have sex a lot vaginally, and anal, and she has been tested every year, and she even tested twice this year and was negative. Stupid I know, just felt I was at risk. But ive been reading somebody can be positive and not pass the disease on. I still see the woman around. Shes gained a lot of weight, makes me think she has something and is depressed and let herself go.  Im in a small town, and would preferably rather do it when I go 2 the city. Far as the Oraquick, just embarrassed to purchase one around here. Since she already has been tested twice, and donates blood twice a year. Me seeking another test would indicate my infidelity. The only blood I have given was for a CBC when this all started 2 months ago, and doc said those numbers are fine. However I was worried about that, since my MVH was 78 and cut off is 80 and my WBC was 5.1 and cut off is 4.1 I felt that was close to low. I am scared, for once in my adult life.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

This does not change my assessment or opinion.  There will be no further answers.  EWH

[nervousone65]

Dr. Hook, I left something out. 2 months ago when this started after I finished the antibiotics(10 day course) I developed a couple of blisters on my penis. Then after that I started to feel really bad with the other symptoms I mentioned above. I went and seen the doctor, he took blood for herpes and skin samples. He called me later and confirmed they were negative for herpes. The blisters left a scar as well. Then I started reading more online matching my symptoms and it seems like everything is HIV related. Scary I suppose, but all I could think about was that exposure I had 2 years ago. My doctor said my symptoms are nothing, and it will pass. Doesn't really think its serious enough to see a G.I. doctor. Worried now.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Thaks fo rthe clarifcation.  I thought it was  the partner you had the affair with who had the negative tests.  You are correct that persons can have HIV or other STIs and not transmit  infection to regular sex partners for years.  Nonetheless, I see little reason for you to worry- most women do not have HIV and as we have already discussed, most exposures do not lead to infection.  I suspect your current symptoms are not due to HIV.  You will only get peace of mind through testing however which is what I suggest you do- the test will be negative.  EWH

[nervousone65]

I have not spoken with the woman I had the affair with, I just see her around. My wife test have been negative. Just worried, ive read online that these symptoms can be HIV breaking the body down, and this happen 2 years ago. My doctor believes its the antibiotics I was on 2 months ago, but I dont know. Just seem like the past haunting me, maybe guilt.

I do know I never been that down in my life! But as I have read ars if it was ars would have occurred 2 years ago when the exposure happen.

Me and my wife have anal sex often, do u think this could be bacteria? My stools are still soft, but bowel movements are 1-2 times a day, but not my normal stool consistency.

I apologize Dr. Hook I wont continue to waste anymore time after this.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

There was risk to your exposures.  If the partner you had the affair with has had negative tests however, she could not have given then to you.  Further, as I said your symptoms are not particularly suggestive of HIV or any other STI.  EWH

[nervousone65]

All of what you said was correct Dr. Hook. Ive just read on the internet that some women have lived with their husbands for years and the husband tested positive but the woman did not. Freaked me out. Im not using my p test results as mine, I just felt my exposure wasnt any risk, but all of what ive been reading has made me think differently.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum.  Your question is a bit hard to follow.  As I understand it, since your affair, your partner has had several tests for STIs (including HIV I presume) and those tests have been negative.  If this is correct, I have two comments. First, the many symptoms that you describe do not particularly suggest HIV or any other STI. Second, if your partner was tested and those tests were negative, then this is further evidence that you should not be worried about an infection related to the affair you have directed.

Finally, even in a small town your physician has an obligation to respect your confidentiality.  If you feel you need testing he or she should be willing to provide that testing for you.  In.my opinion, should you get tested, the tests will be negative proving that this is not something to worry about.

I hope this comment is helpful.  EWH