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Trying to rationally assess my risk
10 weeks ago today I engaged in both insertive and receptive unprotected oral sex with NO ejaculation with a guy I met online. It was a one time thing that I immediately regretted. I am someone who tries to always practice safe sex, so not using a condom, even for oral sex is not sitting well with me at all.
Me and the guy did talk about our sexual practices before engaging in contact. He told me that he was bisexual, that he ALWAYS practiced safe sex (condoms for intercourse), and that he never had engaged in receptive anal, even with a condom. He seemed nice, I really felt like he was clean and trustworthy. I could not see any cuts or sores on his mouth or penis, and he looked perfectly healthy. I am confident I had good oral care (albeit a few small cavities and brushed my teeth an hour before). A few weeks later I started worrying about STDs, so I e-mailed him. He replied "I haven't been to the doctor yet this year, but I have had no issues in the past. I feel fine and have felt fine, we only had oral and I play safe. have no concerns or worries over possible infection". I am almost 100% positive that I didn't show ARS symptoms. I'm assuming the following risk range shouldn't be that out of line?:
I am pretty sure he would be very low risk. I assuming 1:1000-1:10000 of being HIV+
I saw you guessed a rate of approx. 1:100000 for a one time episode of unprotected oral without ejaculation, so I'll go with that.Approx 80% of people I've been told get ARS, so we'll go with 1/5 on this one.
so, for the higher end: 1:1000x1:100000 x 1/5 so 1: 500000000
going with the lower end, 1:10000x1:100000x1:5 = 1: 5000000000.
I know deep down that I don't have HIV, but I think I just need a professional opinion to confirm that for some odd reason. I'm so afraid that if I do test, I will be positive and it will ruin my life and career. If I do get tested, would you recommend a anonymous test site or that I go to my doctor? Thanks!
Me and the guy did talk about our sexual practices before engaging in contact. He told me that he was bisexual, that he ALWAYS practiced safe sex (condoms for intercourse), and that he never had engaged in receptive anal, even with a condom. He seemed nice, I really felt like he was clean and trustworthy. I could not see any cuts or sores on his mouth or penis, and he looked perfectly healthy. I am confident I had good oral care (albeit a few small cavities and brushed my teeth an hour before). A few weeks later I started worrying about STDs, so I e-mailed him. He replied "I haven't been to the doctor yet this year, but I have had no issues in the past. I feel fine and have felt fine, we only had oral and I play safe. have no concerns or worries over possible infection". I am almost 100% positive that I didn't show ARS symptoms. I'm assuming the following risk range shouldn't be that out of line?:
I am pretty sure he would be very low risk. I assuming 1:1000-1:10000 of being HIV+
I saw you guessed a rate of approx. 1:100000 for a one time episode of unprotected oral without ejaculation, so I'll go with that.Approx 80% of people I've been told get ARS, so we'll go with 1/5 on this one.
so, for the higher end: 1:1000x1:100000 x 1/5 so 1: 500000000
going with the lower end, 1:10000x1:100000x1:5 = 1: 5000000000.
I know deep down that I don't have HIV, but I think I just need a professional opinion to confirm that for some odd reason. I'm so afraid that if I do test, I will be positive and it will ruin my life and career. If I do get tested, would you recommend a anonymous test site or that I go to my doctor? Thanks!
I just wanted to say that I FINALLY decided to test for this exposure (at 16 1/2 Weeks) and got a VERY nice NEGATIVE result! Thanks again for all of your advice!
Thanks a lot for your response! I think all I really needed was for a certified professional to confirm my analysis. Since I'm starting med school right away, I think it has been a lot of external stress/anxiety that i funneled into such irrational worries. If I continue to worry I will go get a test, but I agree that it would not only be a waste of my time, but a waste of health care expenditures. Since the odds are essentially zero risk and from the fact that I am 100% sure that i was not HIV+ before this incident, I think I can safely put this to rest! I have a statistics minor, which makes this even more embarrassing. For anyone out there who is irrationally scared, try to think logically. WHY worry about something that carries a 1 in 500 million to 5 billion chance? That being said, there is definitely a psychological effect coupled with medias HIV/AIDS scare (not to mention other STDS are VERY possible to catch via unprotected oral sex). Why not use a condom EVEN for oral sex next time? I know I will!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You provide a very detailed analysis of the chance you caught HIV. I couldn't have done it better and agree with your analysis.
So it comes to somewhere between 1 chance in half a bilion and 1 in 5 billion. From a risk management perspective, those numbers are the same as zero risk. But you obviously need testing for psycholgical support; you already show that objective analysis has not been able to relieve your anxiety. In any case, I have no patience with being afraid to test because of fear of the results. Just bite the bullet and go do it. (If it's positive, you'll then have to address what your real risks were. Because if you have HIV, it wasn't from the oral sex event you describe.)
Finally, anonmyous testing is unnecessary. It made sense at one time, but no more. Over half the US population has been tested for HIV, so just having a test has no implications for discrimination. And people with positive results have to get medical care for it, which cannot be done anonymously. So what's the point?
Just do it. You won't regret it and you'll sleep better with the negative result.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
So it comes to somewhere between 1 chance in half a bilion and 1 in 5 billion. From a risk management perspective, those numbers are the same as zero risk. But you obviously need testing for psycholgical support; you already show that objective analysis has not been able to relieve your anxiety. In any case, I have no patience with being afraid to test because of fear of the results. Just bite the bullet and go do it. (If it's positive, you'll then have to address what your real risks were. Because if you have HIV, it wasn't from the oral sex event you describe.)
Finally, anonmyous testing is unnecessary. It made sense at one time, but no more. Over half the US population has been tested for HIV, so just having a test has no implications for discrimination. And people with positive results have to get medical care for it, which cannot be done anonymously. So what's the point?
Just do it. You won't regret it and you'll sleep better with the negative result.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Thanks for the thanks, but this can't go on indefinitely, with every anxiety-induced additional question that comes to mind. I have no further coments.
Hello,
First of all I'd like to thank Dr HHH and Hook for their help us, and really I respect both of you.
I'd be a greatful one if you allowed me to put comment regarding the past question.
As for catching HIV for an insertive one of oral sex , really really after an intensive and extensive searching from the most conservative and relaible health sites in the world and for a long time of searching, I never ever found case that an insertive one cought HIV just from oral sex(his penis was sucked by girl or gay), except that one of biting incident and present blood that most experts said that a really strange case. "that penis was bitted by someone and the other one had blood in his mouth" really that is a strange case.that said. That said, is cited from www.thebody.com
Again thanka a lot for both of Dr HHH and HOOK.
First of all I'd like to thank Dr HHH and Hook for their help us, and really I respect both of you.
I'd be a greatful one if you allowed me to put comment regarding the past question.
As for catching HIV for an insertive one of oral sex , really really after an intensive and extensive searching from the most conservative and relaible health sites in the world and for a long time of searching, I never ever found case that an insertive one cought HIV just from oral sex(his penis was sucked by girl or gay), except that one of biting incident and present blood that most experts said that a really strange case. "that penis was bitted by someone and the other one had blood in his mouth" really that is a strange case.that said. That said, is cited from www.thebody.com
Again thanka a lot for both of Dr HHH and HOOK.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
"Possible" to catch HIV through saliva? Probably. It's also possible to be hit by a meteorite, but it's not something anybody takes precautions against. Same for HIV and saliva. (I have HIV infected friends, as well as colleagues and friends who are gay men at risk, whose infection status I do not know. I do not hesitate to share coke bottles or drinking glasses with them -- at least no more than with anyone else. The risk of doing that is for colds etc, not HIV or other STDs.)
That will have to do it for this thread.
That will have to do it for this thread.
Sorry, this will be the last question from me.
I was wondering if it's even possible (have there been documented cases) where someone caught HIV from saliva? In my reading on HIV I haven't read of a case where someone got HIV from insertive oral sex, but I suppose it is theoretically possible. Once again I am almost 100% sure that it won't change your evaluation/response of the situation, but I remembered the next day I had a very small red spot on my scrotum. It could have potentially been a tiny nick, but I am quite confident it was more than likely an abrasion.
I was wondering if it's even possible (have there been documented cases) where someone caught HIV from saliva? In my reading on HIV I haven't read of a case where someone got HIV from insertive oral sex, but I suppose it is theoretically possible. Once again I am almost 100% sure that it won't change your evaluation/response of the situation, but I remembered the next day I had a very small red spot on my scrotum. It could have potentially been a tiny nick, but I am quite confident it was more than likely an abrasion.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Correct.
I suppose we also didn't account for the insertive oral sex, but that would not significantly change the odds and certainly not change your assessment I'm assuming.
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