Unprotected sex, abrasion on penis from teeth

[stupidandashamed]

Drs,

I did a dumb thing a few weeks ago. I hooked up with a woman I barely know and had a one time fling. We had sex with a rubber on, but the latex was irritating her. I pulled out, she gave me oral, and flirted with putting my penis back inside of her vagina without a rubber. Eventually she quit flirting and rode me until I came in her, about 2 minutes. Once I came to my senses, I went into the bathroom, cleaned up, and noticed an abrasion from the oral she gave me. Prior to this I only had unprotected sex with 2 women that I trusted, and every other time I wore a rubber.

Before this commenced, I asked her status, and she said she was clean. After I freaked out on my way home, I called her and asked if she was in fact clean. She said she already told me and that neither of us apparantly is cut out for casual sex. Still very much freaked out, I asked her again, and again. Each time she said I already told you! She has since called me a freak and to never call her again (which I wont)...

This has been the worst month of my life, wrestling with the emotions that come with this. I am also slightly OCD and am on paxil 25mg's.

What is your estimation that a)she is telling the truth about her status, and b) my odds of transmission given the unprotected sex coupled with the bleeding abrasion on my penis.

REALLY scared this will haunt me forever.

Thank you for your consideration.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Is slightly OCD like being a little bit pregnant?  Your behavior with this woman was over the top.  I can't blame her for asking you not to call.

Let's cut right to the chase.  You has a casual sexual encounter with a woman and now are concerned that you might have gotten HIV.  I doubt it.  The woman has told you that she does not have HIV.  This is probably the case.  Most women who do not use IV drugs do not have HIV and the statistical chance of a North American woman who does not use drugs having HIV is somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 in 1,000 and may actually be as low as 1 in 10,000. Furthermore, she told you emphatically she did not have HIV.  most people tell the truth.  

Acknowledging your OCD, let's also cover what if she did have HIV.  then your risk from a single episode of unprotected vaginal intercourse is about 1 infection per 1000 exposures.  The abrasion on your penis does not change that much.

Putting all of this together, your risk of HIV is negligible and not something to worry about.  I realize you will feel the need to get tested for this exposure.  OK.  A test at 6 weeks would detect well over 95% of infections acquired 6 weeks earlier and with those results the statistical likelihood is far higher that you will be struck by lightning than that you got HIV from the encounter of concern.

I hope these comments will help you to gain some peace.  Your risk is miniscule and not something to worry about.  EWH.

[Jay963]

A related discussion, Unprotected one night stand with Penile abrasion HIV risk was started.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Glad to hear it.  Take care.  EWH

[stupidandashamed]

I don't know if slightly OCD is like being a little pregnant... but its no fun.

Thanks for the reassurance. It really just hit me all at once when I realized that If i caught something, I might not be around to see my girls grow up (or worse pass something on to them through their mother).  If you say I am worried for nothing, I cannot quibble with your knowledge and experience. Thank you again. I can handle minuscule.