Unprotected sex- worried about HIV

[calvin621]

I have been in a monogamous relationship for over 5 years. About 4 months ago, I made the worst decision of my life. After a night of excessive drinking, I had unprotected vaginal sex with a Caucasian woman that is in her late 40s/early 50s. She is divorced with 2 children. I am 29 yrs old.

The following week, I started getting itchy sound my genitals and had a severe pain/burn/itch inside my urethra, that made it almost unbearable to do daily tasks. I went to the doctors where they tested me for chlamydia and gonorrhea. Both tests came back negative. After the pain persisted for about a week, the doctor gave me a dose of metronidazole, because this woman told me that she was on it after a Pap smear recently detected a high bacteria count in her vagina. The meds work for me, but then the issue came back a few times over the next few months, seemingly after I would have sex with my girlfriend (even when using a condom).

What has me extremely worried is that over the past 4 months, my girlfriend has had vaginal itching, a missed period (last month), swollen lymph nodes in her neck, and frequent night sweats. Other than the pain/itch inside my urethra, I have had a cold (sore throat, nasal congestion, cough), back pain, shortness of breath, and I currently have what seems to be excess mucus in my throat, making it difficult to swallow. I also did the self-test for candida/thrush(where you spit into a cup of water the first thing in the morning) and it appears hat I may have it.

I have only had unprotected sex with my girlfriend 3 times since the encounter, but one of them was the day after. I am terrified that I have HIV and that I have potentially given it to her.  

1- in your opinion, how concerned should I be that I have HIV and that I have passed it to my girlfriend?
2- also, is the pain/itchiness inside my urethra, pain when urinating, or dripping after urinating symptoms of HIV?

Any information would be very helpful.

Thank you for your time,

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Yes.  EWH

[calvin621]

Thanks Doctor. Is the Oraquick home test sufficient?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum. Your risk for HIV from the encounter you describe is extraordinarily low.  Overall, fewer than 1 i 10,000 American women have HIV and rates are still fewer for Caucasian women and women over 40.  Further, don't you think that if your partner had HIV she would have told you?  She told you of her abnormality on Pap smear.  If you really want to lay this issue to rest however, get a test for HIV. It can be done confidentially at your health department and I am confident it will be negative.  

1- in your opinion, how concerned should I be that I have HIV and that I have passed it to my girlfriend?
See above.  This is not something I would be worried about.  

2- also, is the pain/itchiness inside my urethra, pain when urinating, or dripping after urinating symptoms of HIV?
No, this is not a sign of HIV.  Again, this is something that can be readily evaluated at the Health Department.  As far as HIV is concerned however, the symptoms started earlier than would be typical of HIV and are not typical of HIV.

I hope these comments are helpful.  EWH