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Unprotected sex 3 times with same person, level of risk?
I literally can't sleep at night, I've been suffering from panic attacks. I need some reassurance.
2 weeks ago I had unprotected sex 3X in 48 hrs w/ a friend/lover. We've been having sex periodically for 1.5 yrs and have had protected/unprotected sex. I have never caught an STD. He gets STD/HIV tested once a year.
This time, he didn't have a condom. He told me he's clean, he's been using condoms with other partners [he has had 4 partners in the past 5 months]. I believe this since I've seen condoms in his bedroom/wrappers in garbage. He said that there's one partner, his ex, who he doesn't use condoms with but assured me that she too is clean.
He's heterosexual, no IV drugs, never been in prison, 34 and white.
We had unprotected vaginal sex. He never finished, there was no ejaculation and he's not a "heavy leaker."
I got an STD screening done. I'm awaiting my results for chlamydia, etc and the HIV test came back negative but I know it's too early.
I do plan to go in 4 weeks for an HIV test but in the meantime, I have a few questions:
1) Does lack of ejaculation make a difference in this case?
2) What would my statistical risk be in this case? Should I be this worried?
About symptoms...
The lymph nodes in my neck are swollen, however they usually are as a result of bad tonsilitis that I had but they seem more swollen now/bit painful. I'm not sure but I think the lymph nodes in my groin might be enlarged. How can I tell? I can feel 2 hard, bean sized lumps on either side of my groin and they feel identical and like they are in the same location. Is this normal?
I currently have bacterial vaginosis [I get it recurringly]; would this cause swollen lymph nodes in the groin?
No fever, chills, vomitting, rash, etc...
I know I sound like a complete hypochondriac and I am. And my partner/friend is aware of that as well which makes me hopeful that he's not lying to me about his status. Please, any information would help!
2 weeks ago I had unprotected sex 3X in 48 hrs w/ a friend/lover. We've been having sex periodically for 1.5 yrs and have had protected/unprotected sex. I have never caught an STD. He gets STD/HIV tested once a year.
This time, he didn't have a condom. He told me he's clean, he's been using condoms with other partners [he has had 4 partners in the past 5 months]. I believe this since I've seen condoms in his bedroom/wrappers in garbage. He said that there's one partner, his ex, who he doesn't use condoms with but assured me that she too is clean.
He's heterosexual, no IV drugs, never been in prison, 34 and white.
We had unprotected vaginal sex. He never finished, there was no ejaculation and he's not a "heavy leaker."
I got an STD screening done. I'm awaiting my results for chlamydia, etc and the HIV test came back negative but I know it's too early.
I do plan to go in 4 weeks for an HIV test but in the meantime, I have a few questions:
1) Does lack of ejaculation make a difference in this case?
2) What would my statistical risk be in this case? Should I be this worried?
About symptoms...
The lymph nodes in my neck are swollen, however they usually are as a result of bad tonsilitis that I had but they seem more swollen now/bit painful. I'm not sure but I think the lymph nodes in my groin might be enlarged. How can I tell? I can feel 2 hard, bean sized lumps on either side of my groin and they feel identical and like they are in the same location. Is this normal?
I currently have bacterial vaginosis [I get it recurringly]; would this cause swollen lymph nodes in the groin?
No fever, chills, vomitting, rash, etc...
I know I sound like a complete hypochondriac and I am. And my partner/friend is aware of that as well which makes me hopeful that he's not lying to me about his status. Please, any information would help!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to our Forum. Before I address your questions, let me congratulate you on your precautions and use (mostly) of condoms and encourage you to move your activities from those classified as "mostly safe" to being completely safe with more consistent condom use. Your partner does not have to be the only one to provide condoms, you could too and therefore net have to worry in case your partner does not have them.
Now,, to address your questions. HIV does not require ejaculation for transmission (nor does getting pregnancy). The virus is present in pre-ejaculatory fluids.
Overall your risk of infection is low. It is unlikely that your partner had HIV since he gets tested once yearly and is heterosexual. Fewer than one in 10,000 non-IV drug using heterosexual men in the U.S. have HIV. Further, even in the unlikely circumstance that he did, HIV is transmitted only once per every 1000 episodes of intercourse, on average. Thus, with these two figures alone, your risk of infection following 3 unprotected exposures is mathematically less than 1 in 3 million and probably considerably lower.
Lymph nodes. While lymph node swelling can present as swelling and/or tenderness in the groin, I would urge you not to worry about it. Detection of swollen glands is a medical "art form". Clinicians train hard to detect subtle abnormalities and to try to detect them in yourself is fraught with error, both because you might miss them and, if they are present, interpretation of why they are present is difficult. This is because "glands" are lymph nodes which can swell due to any of a large number of infections both viral and bacterial, as well as due to allergic reactions, due to autoimmune disorders and other problems. For this reason we encourage clients who are concerned about swollen glands to check with their own health care providers rather than try to diagnose themselves and, if swollen lymph nodes are present, not to worry about them in relationship to HIV because they are such a non-specific problem. When a person has swollen lymph nodes, the chance that they are due to HIV can be measured as a fraction of 1%.
I hope these comments are helpful to you. Take care. EWH
Now,, to address your questions. HIV does not require ejaculation for transmission (nor does getting pregnancy). The virus is present in pre-ejaculatory fluids.
Overall your risk of infection is low. It is unlikely that your partner had HIV since he gets tested once yearly and is heterosexual. Fewer than one in 10,000 non-IV drug using heterosexual men in the U.S. have HIV. Further, even in the unlikely circumstance that he did, HIV is transmitted only once per every 1000 episodes of intercourse, on average. Thus, with these two figures alone, your risk of infection following 3 unprotected exposures is mathematically less than 1 in 3 million and probably considerably lower.
Lymph nodes. While lymph node swelling can present as swelling and/or tenderness in the groin, I would urge you not to worry about it. Detection of swollen glands is a medical "art form". Clinicians train hard to detect subtle abnormalities and to try to detect them in yourself is fraught with error, both because you might miss them and, if they are present, interpretation of why they are present is difficult. This is because "glands" are lymph nodes which can swell due to any of a large number of infections both viral and bacterial, as well as due to allergic reactions, due to autoimmune disorders and other problems. For this reason we encourage clients who are concerned about swollen glands to check with their own health care providers rather than try to diagnose themselves and, if swollen lymph nodes are present, not to worry about them in relationship to HIV because they are such a non-specific problem. When a person has swollen lymph nodes, the chance that they are due to HIV can be measured as a fraction of 1%.
I hope these comments are helpful to you. Take care. EWH
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
About 90% of HIV infections can be detected by standard testing one month after exposure. thus your results are not "definitive" in a mathematical sense. On the other hand, they greatly further reduce the already very small chance that you got HIV from the exposures you mentioned. Test results would be definitive (that is, they would pick up all HIV tests) at 8 weeks following exposure. It is not necessary to wait until 3 months for the final word. In your case, I really do not think that you need further testing but if you want that extra peace of mind, go on and get re-tested at 8 weeks.
EWH
EWH
Hi Dr, just wanted to thank you again. I went to get tested this morning and it came back negative! They told me at the clinic to come back after 3 months tho, that 1 month was too early. Is this true? This pretty much goes against everything Ive learned about hiv testing...just curious about your perspective. Thanks!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Gald to help. Take care. EWH
Thanks doctor. Youre right. Ill be sure to go next week and get tested. Thanks for all your help.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Please get over your fear of HIV testing. Testing does not give a person HIV but it does give them the power to know what is going on and whether or not they have the infection. Most tests are negative and if you were so unfortunate as to have HIV, the test would allow you to seek treatment sooner. There is no reason to delay or avoid HIV testing. IN your case you really have no meaningful risk- get tested and then you can move on.
Please re-read my comment above about lymph nodes. If you wonder, ask your docotor, do not try to figure out if you if you have swollen nodes yourself. EWH
Please re-read my comment above about lymph nodes. If you wonder, ask your docotor, do not try to figure out if you if you have swollen nodes yourself. EWH
Thanks for your reply. Just another question: considering my low level of risk, do you think 4 weeks is long enough to wait before testing? Im so anxious I dont think I can wait much longer. Also, my glands in my neck/groin are really painful, is this normal? I cant really tell if the ones in my groin are swollen or not but I have a lot of pain down there. Ive read that painful nodes are not associated with hiv, is this true? Should I even be worried? Im terrified to get tested!
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