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What should I do?
Dear Dr.
I had sex with a stripper that I met at a bar. I asked if her if she was clean and she assured me she was. We had unprotected sex in my car for a very brief time 20 seconds, then performed oral sex on each other, again very brief 30 seconds, and then had unprotected sex again for about 30-45 seconds.Sex felt weird, like she had icy hot in her vagina, I thought that was strange. I grilled her after the encounter about her sexual history and she told me she was clean and never did these things, but did have sex with her ex boyfriend. 5 days, I had a clear discharge. I went to the doctor at day 13 and I was negative for all STD's except chlamydia of course. Doctor told me the HIV negative test result was not conclusive but that heterosexual sex was nothing to worry about. I poke my lymph nodes every day and I believe I have 2 swollen in my neck but who knows, they feel like lymph nodes. Nothing unusual in my arms or groin. Also, my tounge might be completely normal, but now that I look at it everyday it seems whiter, like the thrush I read about. It doesn't seem out of control, it just freaks me out. Anyways, not I have chest congestion and mucus and I am so paranoid because I really think I have HIV. ( No fever, no muscle aches, stiff neck in the morning sometimes but I think its a nerve, and no rashes) . First question, (I am a heavy drinker and smoker) are these symptoms common and how well correlated are they to HIV. I have read up a lot on thrush and they say it is not a primary HIV symptom. Now heres my question: What happens if I test positive for HIV. What am I legally supposed to do. This question is what troubles me the most because I am a teacher and I do not want to lose my job. Legally, do I have to tell anyone about HIV? Tell me everything you know about what happens on the diagnosis day. It has now been 3 months since the exposure and I need to know as much as possible in case I test positive so I'll know what to do with the time I have left.
I had sex with a stripper that I met at a bar. I asked if her if she was clean and she assured me she was. We had unprotected sex in my car for a very brief time 20 seconds, then performed oral sex on each other, again very brief 30 seconds, and then had unprotected sex again for about 30-45 seconds.Sex felt weird, like she had icy hot in her vagina, I thought that was strange. I grilled her after the encounter about her sexual history and she told me she was clean and never did these things, but did have sex with her ex boyfriend. 5 days, I had a clear discharge. I went to the doctor at day 13 and I was negative for all STD's except chlamydia of course. Doctor told me the HIV negative test result was not conclusive but that heterosexual sex was nothing to worry about. I poke my lymph nodes every day and I believe I have 2 swollen in my neck but who knows, they feel like lymph nodes. Nothing unusual in my arms or groin. Also, my tounge might be completely normal, but now that I look at it everyday it seems whiter, like the thrush I read about. It doesn't seem out of control, it just freaks me out. Anyways, not I have chest congestion and mucus and I am so paranoid because I really think I have HIV. ( No fever, no muscle aches, stiff neck in the morning sometimes but I think its a nerve, and no rashes) . First question, (I am a heavy drinker and smoker) are these symptoms common and how well correlated are they to HIV. I have read up a lot on thrush and they say it is not a primary HIV symptom. Now heres my question: What happens if I test positive for HIV. What am I legally supposed to do. This question is what troubles me the most because I am a teacher and I do not want to lose my job. Legally, do I have to tell anyone about HIV? Tell me everything you know about what happens on the diagnosis day. It has now been 3 months since the exposure and I need to know as much as possible in case I test positive so I'll know what to do with the time I have left.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Thanks for the followup. I'm pleased (but not suprised) to hear your results were negative and appreciate your message. Take care. EWH
I just wanted to let you know that I sucked it up and went in to get an HIV blood test. The exposure I was worried about was about 3 1/2 months or 15 weeks ago. I am happy to say that I came back negative. The reason I am writing this is because I remember when I was scrutinizing this web forum for answers, I never read responses explaining negative test results. For everyone out there worrying, just know that no matter how sure you may be that you have HIV, chances are you do not. After my sexual encounter, my life was spiraling out of control. I thought I had oral thrush ( doctor said my tongue was normal), I thought I had swollen lymph nodes ( doctor said all of my lymph nodes were normal size), I thought I had aches, pains, and many other symptoms I was conjuring up in my head. My hypothesis is that when someone feels they may have acquired HIV, it makes you go crazy!! I know, I was there. However, let me reiterate that HIV is very difficult to acquire, even during the riskiest sexual acts. That stated, you all should take your negative test results as a blessing and move forward in your lives; wiser and more well-informed. I want to personally thank Dr. Edward Hook for being there with sound advice during one of the most trying times in my life. Both you and Dr. Handsfield are truly godsends for those of us who are scared and fear the worst. Thank you both for your expertise and compassion.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
1. The question you ask is a frequent one but unfortunately, unanswerable. You want to know exactly what your risk of having acquired infection is to a degree of precision which is not scientifically possible. As I said, above, I would estimate your likelihood of having a positive HIV test from the situation you described as being less than 1 in 300.
2. Less than half of infections would be detected by a blood test at 10 days.
consequences of a test. The issue of reporting varies state by state and I do not know each state's laws. Reporting is encouraged as it allows public health efforts to help notify exposed partners in a highly confidential fashion and to plan future resource allocations. States have non-discrimination laws which mean that you could not loose your job if you were to test positive. There is not a legal obligation for you tell to tell anyone of infection were you to have it (you will not). There is a moral obligation to tell persons who you could have sexually exposed or who might have unknowingly given the infection to you so that they could be tested. Health Departments are helpful in this.
Be confident--your test will be negative. Get it soon, for your mental health. EWH
2. Less than half of infections would be detected by a blood test at 10 days.
consequences of a test. The issue of reporting varies state by state and I do not know each state's laws. Reporting is encouraged as it allows public health efforts to help notify exposed partners in a highly confidential fashion and to plan future resource allocations. States have non-discrimination laws which mean that you could not loose your job if you were to test positive. There is not a legal obligation for you tell to tell anyone of infection were you to have it (you will not). There is a moral obligation to tell persons who you could have sexually exposed or who might have unknowingly given the infection to you so that they could be tested. Health Departments are helpful in this.
Be confident--your test will be negative. Get it soon, for your mental health. EWH
I am mentally preparing myself to take another HIV blood test next week. Your reassurance has helped my life day to day and I sincerely appreciate that. Before I take my test, I wanted to ask you a few more questions. First, if you could please re-read my previous thread and answer these questions.
1.) Considering my exposure, brief vaginal/ oral sex, how many people are infected with HIV in this way. Also, please consider that she gave me chlamydia. I would like any statistic you have.
2.) I had a previous HIV blood test at exactly 10 days, do you have any statistics about how accurate an HIV blood test is at 10 days? Anything at all
And finally, I really want to know, what do I need to do if I just so happen to be HIV positive. I know my chances are small but a risk is still present. From your experience, what do I need to do legally? Can I lose my job? Do I need to tell anyone? What are the costs?
I really appreciate you putting up with people like me. I know I may have repeated others questions, but I need these questions answered, for me, before I take this HIV test. Thank you so much for your patience and have a good day.
1.) Considering my exposure, brief vaginal/ oral sex, how many people are infected with HIV in this way. Also, please consider that she gave me chlamydia. I would like any statistic you have.
2.) I had a previous HIV blood test at exactly 10 days, do you have any statistics about how accurate an HIV blood test is at 10 days? Anything at all
And finally, I really want to know, what do I need to do if I just so happen to be HIV positive. I know my chances are small but a risk is still present. From your experience, what do I need to do legally? Can I lose my job? Do I need to tell anyone? What are the costs?
I really appreciate you putting up with people like me. I know I may have repeated others questions, but I need these questions answered, for me, before I take this HIV test. Thank you so much for your patience and have a good day.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
The fact that she had chlamydia would increase the likelihood of her transmitting HIV to you by about three fold, if she had HIV (and once again, most CSWs do not). Thus your odds of acquiring infection would go from about 1 in 1000 to about 1 in 333 - odds that are still very much in your favor.
I cannot explain the symptoms you are having--just that they are not due to HIV. To sort out your symptoms, I would advise seeing a health care professional who can examine you and verify your symptoms, as well as help you manage them.
There is a widespread misperception that STDs are very common in strippers, exotic dancers and CSWs. While these women do have higher rates of STDs than non-professionals, most are still not infected. As to why people worry about getting STDs -there is a very long, complex answer to this but suffice it to say that our Western (and particularly American) prudishness and the double standard we have about sex and sexuality (look around you at any media campaign) fuel the stigma driven concerns about STDs. It really doiesn't make a lot of rational sense.
Hope this is helpful. EWH
I cannot explain the symptoms you are having--just that they are not due to HIV. To sort out your symptoms, I would advise seeing a health care professional who can examine you and verify your symptoms, as well as help you manage them.
There is a widespread misperception that STDs are very common in strippers, exotic dancers and CSWs. While these women do have higher rates of STDs than non-professionals, most are still not infected. As to why people worry about getting STDs -there is a very long, complex answer to this but suffice it to say that our Western (and particularly American) prudishness and the double standard we have about sex and sexuality (look around you at any media campaign) fuel the stigma driven concerns about STDs. It really doiesn't make a lot of rational sense.
Hope this is helpful. EWH
I understand that my chances are small, but I am already at 3 months since the exposure and I did contract chlamydia from this girl. Doesn't that put me at a great risk for HIV? How can I explain my lymph nodes and my fatigue? The only reason I ask these questions is because she was a stripper and I can only imagine what her sexual past must be. Is heterosexual sex really nothing to worry about? If there is nothing to worry about, why are so many people afraid to contract it? It just doesn't make sense to me. This will be my last response.
But please be aware that condoms do break so it is best to use the strongest available.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Stop worrying about what if you test positive for HIV. Based on the encounter you describe, you will not. If she was infected and the chances are that she is not, your chances of getting HIV from her are less than 1 in 1000. Wait till about 6-8 weeks when > 95% of HIV tests that are going to be positive are and get a test. When it is negative, relax and use condoms in the future.
As for the coating on your tongue. Smoking is far more likely to set you up for thrush than HIV. Thrush occurs in persons with late HIV, not early infection (again remember- you are not infected).
Finally, as for the unusual feeling on your penis during intercourse- I cannot account for it. On some occasions perfumes or other substance present in douches or feminine hygiene products can cause an allergic reaction--this may be what was going on. What I can say however is that there is no STD or HIV that causes symptoms at the time of exposure.
Hope this helps. EWH
As for the coating on your tongue. Smoking is far more likely to set you up for thrush than HIV. Thrush occurs in persons with late HIV, not early infection (again remember- you are not infected).
Finally, as for the unusual feeling on your penis during intercourse- I cannot account for it. On some occasions perfumes or other substance present in douches or feminine hygiene products can cause an allergic reaction--this may be what was going on. What I can say however is that there is no STD or HIV that causes symptoms at the time of exposure.
Hope this helps. EWH
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