A few days ago, I met a guy at a party and we ended up engaging in sexual activity. I received unprotected oral sex from him for about 2 or 3 minutes, at which point i started to finger his anus (he was the bottom). We used a condom and it did not rip or tear...the thing that has me worried is that after we finished, after i took off the condom, he put my penis into his mouth and licked whatever was left on it. There was a small friction/chafted spot on the head of my penis that had been healing and was closed before the incident. However, after the incident I showered off and I noticed that the spot looked irritated and there was possibly some skin breakage. No visible blood, however. I was totally not expecting him to do that. What is my HIV risk if he was HIV positive, between giving me head and living my penis (with the chafted spot) after sex? What is the possibility of transmission if he also had a small abrasion in his mouth? He said that he is clean, but it worries me that he would essentially "lick me clean" after knowing me for a short amount of time.
Also, I had some superficial cuts on my fingers from earlier the evening. The cuts seemed to only scratch the surface, as I did not bleed, nor did the area get inflamed. Is there any possibility of transmission through these if blood was present on/in his anus?
Welcome to the Forum. The events you describe can be categorized in two ways, either as your receipt of oral from him (with an abrasion on your penis) and from your insertion of your finger into his rectum (again, possibly with abrasions on your fingers). The answers are (if he had HIV which is unlikely) that there is virtually no risk for you from either of these activities.
The quoted figure for HIV risk, if one receives oral sex with an infected partner is less than 1 in 10,000 and, in my estimation that is too high. Some experts state there is no risk at all from oral sex. Neither of us on this site have ever seen or reading the medical literature of a convincing instance in which HIV was passed by oral sex. This includes by all of the people who had genital sores or abrasions, rashes, etc.
Similarly, there is no risk from insertion of your finger into his rectum, even if you had small sores or abrasions on your fingers, as most people do and even if there was blood present on his anus (and I would point out, if there had been, you probably would have seen it)
This is not an exposure to worry about. I hope my comments are helpful to you. EWH
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