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Avatar universal

more testing?

Thank you much Doctors in advance.

At the end of July I did something stupid and met an escort at a hotel and I received unprotected oral sex and the entire event was in her mouth and all of my semen was swallowed.  I went thru a period after this of extreme anxiety and freight, as I am newly married and felt I was playing with fire and threw my life away.  At 6 weeks (42 days) I had a standard antibody blood draw test at my doctors office (Elisa?) and it was negative.  I had read a few posts online and read 6 weeks is enough for my risk.  I never had a fever, or rash, btu had a cold or two.  So I decided I was fine and then after the 6 week had unprotected sex with my wife and ejaculated internally.

I started to think I jumped the gun, and again felt anxious especially when she got sick shortly after.  She had a 100 degree fever about 2 weeks post sexual contact but fever went down after 20 minutes.  So, after being freaked for so long, had another test of the same type at 10 weeks (73 days).  Also negative.

We are talking about starting a family, and have had numerous unprotected sexual encounters with internal ejaculation since. (10 weeks test was october 9).  I had one other exposure, on saturday october 2nd, 1 week before the 10 week test.  It was a handjob from an asian masseuse in a spa.  she used lotion and nothign else happened (dont know if she happened to use genital secretions, but dont think so.  Now a month after the handjob I feel achy in the shoulders and back, stuffy nose, headaches...so I have some questions...

1.  Was the handjob a risk?
2.  was my 10 week negative conclusive?
3.  Do you reccomend another test for the handjob if it was a risk.
4.  Has a handjob ever passed on HIV or any STD?
5.  Do my symptoms sound worrysome?

I've leanred my lessons and want to move on with my life.  I've definatly been thinking less and less about the anxiety and have been less anxious, but every now and again I start thinking bad thoughts.
5 Responses
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239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.

You had an essentially zero risk exposure with respect to HIV.  HIV is very rare in escorts in the US and other industrialized countries -- probably under 1 chance in 1,000 she was infected.  Second, HIV is almost never transmitted by oral sex -- one estimate is one chance in 2,000.  That makes the odds you had HIV, before you were even tested, in the range of 1 in 2 million.  And hand-jobs are absolutely zero risk for HIV.  Finally, there is no serious chance of a false negative HIV antibody test at 6 weeks.  Your wife's symptoms are for sure just a coincidence -- which is about a million times more likely than the possibility you caught HIV and gave it to her.

To your specific questions:

1,4) HIV is not transmitted by hand-genital contact.  No chance.  Same for other STDs.  Theoretically HSV could be transmitted that way, but it has not been known to ever happen.

2) Your 6 week test result was conclusive.  Your 10 week result is equally so.

3) No additional testing is necessary.

5) No, your symptoms do not suggest HIV or any STD.

All is well.  Neither you nor your wife has HIV from the events described.  Try to stop worrying about it.

Regards--  HHH, MD
Helpful - 1
239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Re-read my previous reply.  It is not normal to be so resistant to such overwhelming evidence and reasoned reassurance.  This forum has nothing more to offer you.  If post anything more here, the entire thread will be deleted without further comment.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have one final question before I put this behind me...

Overall I am feeling better about things, but it's the topic of late seroconversion that had me question things again.  I am very overweight, don't get sick TOO often, and wouldn't consdier my immune system to be anything other then ordinary.

Muscle and joint aches, hot face and neck but not an actual fever but a overall "warm" feeling is making me very nervous that I can be seroconverting late.

Are any of these feelings justified?  Every time I have unprotected sex with I wife we are trying to have a child, and yet instead of an attempt to create life I feel Im raising my chances of destroying both of ours.

If you can help me with this I'll be on my way.
Helpful - 0
239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
My parting comment is only this:  When people have irrational fears that continue after overwhelming evidence and reasoned reassurance, it generally means there is an underlying emotional/psychological issue and that professional counseling should be considered.  Repeating the evidence/reassurance rarely resolves the anxiety, but that's all a forum like this can do -- so I won't have any further comments or advice.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks for the words Doctor.

I have been having continuous unprotected sex with my wife as we are trying to have a child, and am trying to put the past behind me.

HIV is such a scary thing.  Maybe not as scary as it was 10-15 years ago, but scary nonetheless.  I peruse the "Living with HIV" community thread once and a while and do not see alot of new postings there, especially from people who initially post on the prevention forum so that makes me feel better.

I'm sure you get hit with the "what if im gonna turn positive" question alot also, and I do think about that as well.  like a 10 week negative turning positive.  I've had a total of 4 negative antibody tests since May of this year, and all were for unprotected oral sex with oral ejaculation, no penetration of any kind and yet I still fear sometimes I'm putting my wife at risk.

I know I have guilt, but also want to be as educated about this as possible.  Any parting advise?
Helpful - 0

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