swollen painful Lymph node upper groin area

[mo_lives]

dear doctor,
i have posted a simillar question about 10 days ago and the answer i recevied was very very helpful. since then i have another question that needs your kind attention. i have had a lypmh nodes the size of a pea for nearly eight years on my upper right thigh. it does not hurt or is stiff. just two days ago i had another lymph node on my left groin area this was very very small. Today it has become very big (size of a quarter) and also hurts a bit if i touch it.i kept squezzing it thinking it could be a pimple or something like that. since then it has become big and hard. it can be seen from outside very slightly. also the skin on the top layer is sort of dark. this is really realy worring me. i havent had sex outside my marriage life for nearly a year and intend to keep it that way.my wife was diagnose with hpv (the one that causes genital warts) although it was passed from me to her i do not have any visible warts. i am 30 years old and am diebetic,high blood pressure and sleep apnea and weight 112 kilos. my worries are

1) at what stage will a person with HIV get lymph nodes in groin
2) can this lymph node appear due to some other reason than HIV,if yes please state situations
3) becuase i have HPV, can That qualify me to have HIV as well. in other words can a person have HPV and HIV      
together ?
4) my wife who is 9 months into her pregnency had a rapid HIV test after nearly 8 weeks of having first sexual intercouse with me, as requested by her gyno. it came negative. if her test is negative can i also assume mine would be negative given the fact that i have not had any sexual relationship outside, after my marriage ?
5)how long does this lymph node takes to go away under normal conditions ?
6) i went to a doctor and showed him the lymph node. he prescribed some antiboitics, is this helfulp?

I am really scared to get tested i just dont know why ? its probably the community i live with thats making me scared
please help me doctor.

[aiz_4u]

A related discussion, swollen lymph node was started.

[alienshadow]

I say get tested thats the only way to put an end to the whole mess your in.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

You have made little progress with your anxieties and inapprpraite fears since your last question.  I will briefly answer the questions you have asked which are appropriate but what you really need to do is to get yourself tested and figure out a way to move forward beyound your current pathological state of anxiety.  If your lymph node is swelling it could be caused by many many things but what is unliikely tobe contrabuting is HIV.  Go get seen by your doctor and stop squeezing and picking-- this will just make things worse.  To your questions:

1.  From months arter in fection out for years.  Not all persons with HIV have swollen nodes but when they do, the swelling is typically painless and does not change quickly.  that yours are changing makes it unlikely to be HIV.
2.  Yes, the list however is enourmaous and far beyond the scope if this site.  AS ai said before, you need to address this with your doctor.
3.  Of course the diseases can co-exist but having HPV does not mean you have HIV.  We discuss this in the past.  I will not dicsuss HPV further.
4.  No, you could still ahve HIV even though you have not tranmitted it to our wife.  
5.  It depends on why it is swollen
6.  It can be, depending on what is causing the swollen lmph node.  Why didn't you ask these quesitons of the doctor.  You shouold.

EWH