1 week today

[LIZZIE LOU]

my 29 year old son just tested + one week ago today.  the emotional roller coaster we have been on is unbelievable.  he has already been to his first appt. at UAB (university of alabama at birmingham).  this was merely a orientation of sorts and to get his blood work done so we can see where he stands.  his next appt. is on the 26th and at that time we meet his two doctors, a nutritionist, and a social worker.  i feel blessed that we have the resources offered to him at UAB as they are a leading teaching and research hospital in the treatment of HIV.  

his girlfriend is starting to show symptoms of maybe being infected...swollen lymph nodes and a yeast infection.  she tested neg. last friday but will have to be re-checked later.  i pray that she will continue to test neg. but i am really afraid that she won't.  she and her mother went with us for the first visit to educate themselves about how to protect themselves AND protect him from outside interferences.  how awesome was that?

i am not "afraid" of my son but I'll tell you one thing...if it meant getting infected to help my son live a quality life...i'd do it in a heartbeat.

[slcjimmy69]

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[boyblue]

Lizzie-

So sorry to hear about your son- The emotional rollercoaster has just begun- I want to first commend you on your support of your son and the road ahead he faces.  I was diagnosed April 5, 2000 and know exactly what he is going through.  When first diagnosed you think oh my god it's over- I will say that it is very important to have a postitive attitude and not think of what may be and to stay in the moment and the today.  Being HIV positive is not what it used to be- it is no longer a death sentance and is an illness that has becomed for the most part embraced by most people.  I think it is a wonderful thing that you are there for him and will be part of his journey- I just told my father a year ago- and my mom does not know- I prefer not to tell her unless absolutely neccessary- this is just my choice- I did feel better after I told my father- (he was pissed that I had not told him sooner) guess it's a parents protective nature I guess to want to take care of their child- even if he is 36 and no longer a "child".    

I can tell you from experience that some Dr's choose to put HIV positive people on medication right away- and others choose to refrain from doing this as long as possible- once you are on meds you must remain on them forever as this is a very smart disease and will mutate itself to become medication resistant.  Your son must find out what his counts are (CD4 and Viral load)  when first diagnosed my CD4 was at 496 and Viral load only at 9,000, that was 7 years ago and I just went on my meds 1 year ago (at that time my CD4 was 202 and Viral load was 30,000)  since being on meds my CD4 is now 400 and Viral load is undetectable..YEA FOR ME....  Also tell your son it is IMPERATIVE that he take his meds faithfully, do not skip a dose and take the meds around the same time every day to keep the levels constant...  There are side effects to meds that he may experience- nothing serious but then again there are side affects to ANY medication. Find a good Dr who is knowlegeable in HIV care and stay with that Dr for the course..  

Once he gets past the initial shock of it all he will eventually get back to his "normal" life.  I hope my rambeling on was somewhat helpful, I wish you and your family the best and say just hang in there- everything will be fine- Here I am 7 years later and doing fine- I have my days of the "poor me" syndrome but then I snap myself out of it- Tell him to stay strong and don't let this diagnosis beat him- he is stronger than that.

-Thoughts are with you from Long Island

[LIZZIE LOU]

what his girlfriend is saying is absolutely true.  as long as their labs are coming back and not way out of whack, there is no need to take medication...the doctors will know when the time has come.  don't get me wrong...they won't wait until it is too late but you do, over time, become immuned to it.  there are now 25 different HIV meds. on the market at this time and i think that is why HIV is so close to becoming a virus that can be totally controlled by medication for a life time.

this is what we will be finding out on the 26th of this month...just where he stands as far as his labs.  hope things look as good for him as it is for your brother so far.  i'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

if you ever want to read any information on HIV, as i'm sure you already have, please go to the CDC website...it has the most accurate info. on the internet.  no propaganda there...just facts.

thanks for chatting,
kim

[Nickey1]

I think it's a little of both.  He's in so much denial that he's not being treated (just told my mom last night that he hasn't been to the doctor in over a year) but after speaking to his girlfriend, who is very open with her situation and takes really good care of herself, she says that the doctor didn't put them on medicine yet.  Said something about their bodies are fighting the disease very well on its own right now, and if the body is doing such a good job why use medicine because by the time their bodies aren't able to fight it anymore, they may be immune to the medicine and it wouldn't work, now I don't know how true this is, as I've always read that anyone with HIV can take medication to help keep them healthy, BUT I'm assuming since she's infected that she'd have more information and insight than I would.  However, since I'm sure you're about to become more knowledgeable with it while helping your son, if you don't mind I'd like if you could let me know anything that you find out during your journey, maybe you can help me to help him.  Also, I'll never give up on him, BUT at this point, there's little that I can do if he doesn't want to discuss it......but whenever he does, I'll be here to do whatever I can.

[Nickey1]

Hello, first I'm sorry to hear that you believe that you may be infected; however, KNOW that it's not very easy to be transmitted, so I'm praying for the best for you.

[Horriblyscared123]

I live in souther Alabama all the way south I'm glad that there is an HIV resource so near to me as I might be infected and am very scared Good luck

[jeffhaley]

Hello, sorry to hear the news about your son. Do you mind if I ask how he beleives he was infected?

[LIZZIE LOU]

hi...

my son is also a crystal meth addict but does NOT use needles.  the only reason i bring this up is because you asked if he knows how he was infected.  even though he has a long time g/f...he tends to go "sex crazy" while on the meth.  so far he has had to call 18 girls to tell them he has HIV...that breaks my heart that he could have infected 17 of them...someone gave it to him.  i can't believe his g/f is sticking by him after all the betrayal but she loves him and knows that it is not him doing that...it is the meth.  he has been clean for only 6 weeks and i worry about that too.  he is so scared of dieing that this may have scared him straight.  he knows he has to take care of his health now if he wants to have a chance.

i know that this will probably sound strange but i truly believe that he will live longer with the HIV than he would if he had continued down the road he was on.  i shared with him this thought and he agreed.  only time will tell...

kim

[LIZZIE LOU]

hi...thanks for posting...nice to find someone who is going through the same thing.

is your brother being treated or is he in so much denial that he isn't?

we have so much hope and that is all that we can have at this point.  i hope that he lives as good a life as he can...i hope for his future...i hope that he continues to be proactive in his health...and i hope...for all those who have HIV...that they find the love and support they so desperately need.  what a lonely life this can be if you let it.  it's bad enough that one can loose so many friends because of ignorance but to live without love in your life can be devastating.

i would never give up on your brother...i know that deep inside he is wanting and needing his family...he just doesn't know how to receive it.  i know he wants your love and support...just don't give up.

here's to a better and brighter tomorrow...
kim

[Nickey1]

I commend you first of all, because so many people are ignorant to the fact.  My brother tested positive about 5 years ago, and had YET to open up to anyone.  Yesterday I spoke to his girlfriend, who is also positive, so at least she was able to let me know how he's doing, because again, he shuts down whenever anyone asks him anything about it.  It's as if he's waiting for it to go away or something.  I'm very concerned about him, and because he won't talk to anyone, it's hard to help him.  So again, I comment you and your son, and especially his girlfriend and her parents.  This disease does NOT have to control your life....at least NOT this day and age.