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1592855 tn?1298020099

Confused... I Need Help!!!

About 3yrs back, I was diagnoisis with HIV, a yr later wifey got pregnant, her and the baby did sevaral HIV TEST and came back neg, now about a week ago, me n wifey went 4 another test, i m still pos and she's neg!
How is this possible?....I m even considering a DIVORCE [just don't wanna be selfish anymore]!
Any one 4 Advice...pleaseeee!
Best Answer
Avatar universal
The good thing you have with your wife, you cannot throw it away just like that. Do not allow this disease to ruin your life. Your still loves you and still wants to be with you. She is fully aware of your status and she loves the person that you are. I am happy for you that steve has given you hope. Hope all works out for you.
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Avatar universal
hi teak thanks for the advice. but i just can't change doctor as you suggested these doctors is hiv doctors at the hospital. i think by now i have seen all of them in this 21 years. matter of fact ever time i used to go and see one of the doctor he/she will ask how are you. if i said am fine he/she will say well all looks good on your tests . but never once explain to me that all my VL and Hiv RNA tests is negative. i find out these information from my journal that i ask for a copy. even when the doctor is reporting to the health authority about me said in all the reports that we can't measure the virus. in june 2011 they did a hiv RNA test that came back negative. and i don't know what is the reason they don't want to give me a copy of all my lab results. i never see one i just hear from them am hiv positive. i think its time i find out what is going on. when i ask the doctor at the lab to give me a copy of my results them she said i can't do that because your tests is with other people.test. that is bull what the hell my test have to do with other people. i never once have any problem with hiv in this 21 years
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The doctor you are seeing is inept.
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Avatar universal
hi what you mean another doctor?.
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Avatar universal
Find another doctor that know what he's talking about.
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Avatar universal
Hi! am 39 years. for the pass 19 years i have been told that i am hiv Positive but in this 19 years i never been on meds never ever. all my VL for the 19 years  is undectectable my CD4 is 800 and up to 1000. even when using Hiv RNA test many times came back undectable. i have been married twice and none of my husbands got infected with the virus even thought we never once used protection i am still married with my second husband and he is still negative after 12 years of our marrage with out protection. i contact my ex  boy friend that i had before and he is hiv negative if i have to go back it will be 21 years am really positive. my question is my ex boy friend is negative had since married have five children.then how the hell i got this virus. i ask after 19 years for my hospital journals and find out that the doctor wrote when i was taking the hiv test that my mother used me and my sisters as prostitute's. i was very mad. and contact the doctor to as why she wrote such a thing about me. her answer was i don't know am sorry if did couse you any harm. i need some help am really confused 19 years my hiv doctor can't measure this virus. every time i go to see my doctor he always will say we can't measure this virus but the virus is there. so if he can't measure this virus in 19 years how he know for sure the virus is really there. i thank god because i am in good health don't even gets the flu much less.  
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Avatar universal
If your VL is in the 1000s your are not undectectable.
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Avatar universal
dont let hiv ruin your love for her.  To have a child that is not infected is a blessing.  Live your life, its not just about you anymore.  Its about your baby too.
Helpful - 0
1592855 tn?1298020099
Oh!No! I m not on medication and my CD4 is @ 438,  I m always scared dat de condom might break!
"Are you trying 2 tell me dat if I can push my CD4 up, I will be less infectious?"
This is Hope 4 my Marriege...!Thanx!!!!
Helpful - 0
1571538 tn?1301468358
Are you on medication. Before I was on medication. I was highly infectious  what the medication does is  slows  the HIV down. More or less stops it. Replicating it's self   My viral load as in it's 1000 s  now I'm undectable which means I'm less infectious. So if a condom did come off it's unlikely I would infect that person  . Although it would be a good idea to get that person checked out. But I really don't think there would be much chance of infection if you were undetable. Take care if you love your wife stay with her  I'm sure she loves you  true love is hard to find these days
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1592855 tn?1298020099
Hi! I just read all ur comments,u seem 2 be strong BUT de reality of life hits us badly.Like I said...its CONFUSING! As a man i could'nt take rejection very well before she knew my status, now dat she knows I can't handle it @ all, dats y I m  opting 4 a dirvorce!
"Everytime I touch her, I feel lyk I 'm gonna infect her...no matter how safe I play"
and u ve just help me 2 see dat there's No Way 2 Survive such a Relationship or am I wrong?

p.s Never Think of Taking ur Life - God Loves us All,stay POSITIVE!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, I have a fiancee who is negative and I am positive. When I asked to end things he refused but the way he is treating me now! its like he is punishing me. Just want to say you are very blessed that your wife still supports and wants to stand by you. Divorce is not the answer you just need to sit down and talk to her tell her exctly how you feel and I am sure she will still love and support you. Love conqueres it all. when you love someone you are able to look beyond their stautus and love the person still.
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