EASTER

well...i got the call this morning.

this is the first easter without my dad...he passed away 10 months ago.  it is still extremely hard on my family as we are still grieving our loss...he was such a special man.  as usual, we planned to all go to my mom's house after church for a family gathering...or so i thought.

my mom called this morning to say that my brother, his wife, and two sons would not be attending.  apparently he is "afraid" of my son.  WHAT?  WAS HE PLANNING ON HAVING SEX WITH HIM OR SOMETHING?  

this hurts my feelings so much...and i know when my son sees that they are not there (and for the first time i might add)...this is going to devastate him.  i know him and he is going to feel like he is to blame for them not being there.  i hate this emotional roller coaster.

cont'd

[LIZZIE LOU]

i am so upset with my brother and don't know what to do.  what i feel like doing is calling him and say F**K YOU! but what is that going to accomplish?  maybe i should try and educate him...but then i feel like he should be reaching out to me...his sister...and asking me to help him better understand.  how can someone 53 years old be so stupid?  my son and i are the ones who need the support so why should i go to him?  if he cared about us and our feelings, wouldn't he come to me?  i don't know...i'm just venting because i am so mad.

i hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend and remembers WHY we celebrate Easter.  i hope that you are able to spend time  with your family without all the ignorance that surrounds this disease.

wishing you happiness,
kim

[boyblue]

Hello again- I posted a comment to a post you had made earlier in the week about your sons diagnosis..hope you read it, anyway just read this post about your brother not attending Easter... all I can say is that I am sorry to hear of his decision to not attend.  I know this is easier said than done- but try not to ake this personal- I truely believe it's the fear of the unkown that makes people freak out and make stupid- un-educated choices like your brother- I did love your comment about him having sex with him- that was funny...  Again I know your emotions are going crazy right now- and I feel for you- hang in there sweetie (hope you don't mind me calling you sweetie-LOL)  as for your comment about you not reaching out to them is correct- they should be reaching out to you- their fear is NOTHING compared to the fear you must feel- Try to take your anger towards them and turn it into something positive- Don't know if there are support groups for parents of HIV positive children in your area but that may be something you want to look into... TRUST me when I say the emotional rollercoaster does get better- it really does I swear- I mean I can't say that I know exactly what you are going through as a parent, but it will get better- like ANY disease that is newly diagnosed it is overwhelming- I think what makes being HIV+ diagnosed worse is the stigma that is associated with it. It's your brothers loss- he and his family will miss Easter dinner and if this is his attitude then he will miss every holiday- sucks for him- stay strong, keep your chin up, and enjoy your Easter..

-J. from Long Island