I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BREAK UP, HE REALLY JUST HAS A LOT OF ISSUES TO DEAL WITH YOU HAVE TO THINK POSITIVE MAYBE ONE DAY HE WILL GET THE COUNSELING AND TREATMENT HE NEEDS AND HE PROBABLY DOESNT WANT TO PUT HIS PROBLEMS ON YOU TO BARE SO DONT BE MAD AT HIM JUST LOVE HIM FROM A DISTANCE AND WHEN AND IF HE CALLS JUST BE HIS FRIEND BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE NEEDS THE MOST RIGHT NOW. BUT YOU ALSO NEED TO BE HAPPY SO MOVE ON FIND THAT TRUE LOVE YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. HE JUST ISNT READY TO DO THAT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. IT TOOK ME A LONG LONG TIME TO GET OVER MY ANGER. LIKE 5 YEARS SO GIVE HIM TIME HE WILL EVENTUALLY COME AROUND AND SEE THAT MAYBE YOU WERE THE ONE FOR HIM IF THAT HAPPENS IF YOUR AVAILABLE THEN GO FROM THERE BUT IF NOT THEN JUST BE HIS FRIEND. AGAIN IM SO SORRY I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE SOOOO MUCH. BUT YOU WILL GET THRU IT I PROMISE.
Hi ! Thank you- you are helping!. Unfortunately we broke up yesterday. And I dont see us getting back together. Although when we got back together he said he loves me and wants to marry me but again he went back to being his usual distant self, not affectionate and withdawn. He became frustrated at me cause I kept asking for him to talk to me but he would not. It seemed like he had emotionally " checked out' of the relationship. He would not show affection, barely talked and started wearing underwear to bed (when we had always slept naked). It felt there were miles and miles of distance between us -even we were sleeping in the same bed. So I told him that I cant go on like this, and he said we should break up. He said he loves me but cant see us together anymore. So I dont know where to from now- just have to move on I guess. I care so much about him, and would be with him if I could but it seems like it wont be able to happen. Thank you again x
YES I DID GET BACK WITH MY HUSBAND AND WE FIXED THINGS IT REALLY JUST TAKES TIME AND HE DEFINITELY COULD USE THE COUNSELING I DID AND THAT IS WHAT HELPED ME GET THRU IT AND OVER THE ANGER. HE WILL EVENTUALLY GET OVER THE ANGER IT JUST TAKES TIME AND IF YOU THINK YOU CANT HANDLE HIS ISSUES UNTIL HE IS ABLE TO COPE THEN I WOULD END THE RELATIONSHIP BUT BE THERE AS A FRIEND BECAUSE HE DOES NEED THE SUPPORT. BUT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN TOUGH IT OUT I DONT KNOW HIM BUT IM SURE IT WOULD BE WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN IT WAS FOR ME. I HAVE MY FAMILY BACK AND MY HUSBAND AND I COULDNT BE HAPPIER. HE IS ALOT LIKE MY SON BUT MY SON IS NOT DEALING WITH HIV BUT MY SON DOES THE SAME THING HE JUST LETS THINGS BUILD UP AND UP UNTIL HE EXPLODES AND I FEEL ALOT OF THAT IS HEREDITARY FROM THE PARENTS BECAUSE MY SON IS ALOT LIKE HIS DAD. WELL I DONT KNOW IF I WAS MUCH HELP BUT I HOPE I WAS. COUNSELING IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HIM RIGHT NOW. HAVE A GREAT DAY.
Hi. Thank you- you helped! I am sort of back with him now- its not going well and we may still break up again, I love him and he says he loves me - but cant seem to get over our issues. He does feel abandoned- he was adopted, is not close to his adoptive parents who although they are kind to him they seem to shower his sister with affection, and he has HIV so he is dealing with a lot of stuff. He seems to withdraw emotionally from me- gives little affection, and gets angry when I try to discuss relationship stuff- he says I over analyse things and this frustrates him. But It leaves me feeling I cant discuss anythinh with him, and then because he does not communicate, things build up and up inside him until he finally explodes and then its like world war 3! So, although he says he loves me, I am not sure- cause he does not always act like it cause he is so withdrawn and doesnt talk about his feelings or problems or anything. Any more advice you can give would be great. Do you still feel sad? Did you get back with your partner after you pushed them away? How are you coping now?
I HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH THIS ILLNESS FOR 13 YEARS NOW AND I HAVE TO SAY YES IN THE BEGINNING I WAS VERY ANGRY AND STAYED ANGRY FOR A VERY LONG TIME THE ONLY WAY I GOT OVER BEING ANGRY WAS THROUGH THERAPY AND COUNSELING SESSIONS. YES HE IS TRYING TO PUSH YOU AWAY IN FEAR OF INFECTING YOU I DID THE SAME THING TO THE PERSON I WAS WITH. SO THAT IS VERY COMMON HE IS STILL VERY NEW TO THIS DISEASE SO HE HAS A LOT TO LEARN I WOULD SUGGEST FOR YOU IS TO BE THERE FOR HIM THAT IS WHAT HE NEEDS THE MOST RIGHT NOW IS YOUR SUPPORT AND KNOWING THAT YOU LOVE HIM BECAUSE I FELT PUSHED AWAY SAD AND THAT NO ONE CARED OR LOVED ME WHEN I FIRST FOUND OUT AND THAT IS WHY I PUSHED PEOPLE I LOVED OUT OF MY LIFE. I TAKE ATRIPLA AND IT DOESN'T HAVE THOSE KIND OF SIDE EFFECTS NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS TAKING BUT SOME MEDS CAN CHANGE YOUR MOODS. BUT MY OPINION IS HE IS STILL VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE THINKING BECAUSE I DID HE SHOULD'VE BEEN MORE CAREFUL HOW COULD HE LET THIS HAPPEN TO HIMSELF. WHY DID IT HAPPEN TO HIM AND THINGS OF THAT NATURE. I HOPE I WAS HELPFUL IN SOME SORT OF WAY.
1. Meds don't make you angry.
He may have issues with accepting his status.