How can I help?

One of my best friends recently tested positive for HIV. She has isolated her self. Although we live a few hours apart I would like to know how I can support her through this. I am planning a trip to see her, any thing I should or shouldn't say? I want her to feel the same, because that is how i see her.

[asp123]

Do u know how she was infected?

If so...maybe look up examples of other people infected the same way that have lived long lifes while having hiv.

[LIZZIE LOU]

there is no right or wrong answer.   just you coming to be with her will help her more than you will know.   when someone is first diagnosed...the overwhelming feelings can be a bit tough.  

you say that you want her to feel the same, because that is how you see her...well then tell her that.  touch her...hold her...let her know that you are not afraid of her or to be around her...because there are alot of uneducated ppl who will shun her because of this.  just let her know that she is still the same person...just someone who has a disease.  

kim

[support101]

She contracted it through unprotected sex. She found out this summer. I did do research and found out that she can live a pretty normal life. She is on antidepressants and says she is very unhappy and doesn't care about anything anymore. Will she snap out of this eventually? I try to tell her that her life is not over and things will get better. She thinks she will only live 10 years. I read that she could live a lot longer then that. Is this true?

[support101]

I found this article about HIV/AIDS cure research http://pr.caltech.edu/periodicals/EandS/articles/AIDS Forum Feature.pdf

[LIZZIE LOU]

has she been to a HIV specialist...infectious disease doctor...yet?  how long ago was she diagnosed?

i feel that this will pass.  she is still trying to come to grips that she made a big mistake and is paying for it now. she needs to know that by isolating herself, she is not allowing others to be there to love and support her...and this will only add to her depression.

when my son was diagnosed almost four months ago...not only was i terrified for him...but also for my family.   it took me less than 24 hours to find out that none of us were at risk of catching it from him.   i educated my family quickly...and he is not treated any differently now than he was before this happened.

your friend needs to understand that she is the same person as she was before.  that she can live a pretty much normal and happy life.  my son married his g/f, two months after his diagnosis...she is negative...but she loves him with or without HIV.

i wish this site had more members who could reach out to you AND your friend.  there is someone here that has been instrumental in helping me understand HIV...and i am sure that he would do the same for her.

don't waste your time and energy researching a cure...at this time.   research on how to help her cope with the feelings she is going through.  there will someday be a cure...but for now...it has pretty much become a disease that is manageable with meds and lifestyle changes.

hope this helps.

kim

[support101]

Thank you kim for your advice. Yes, she has gone to a docter a was told her c4 count was in a normal range. Although she has just recently found out she is positive, she has apparently had it for about a year or so. She said that she doesn't feel like the same person anymore. I told her she is and we all look at her the same. I guess she has her good days and bad days dealing with this. I think it is ecpecially hard for her because she found all this out away at college, so she does'nt much support. She has not told her family and doesn't plan to. I told her that was her decision and not to worry about that right now (her family can be very strict). So do you think she can live a lot longer then she is thinking (10 years)?

[LIZZIE LOU]

many, many years ago...the life span of someone with HIV/AIDS wasn't very long...and there was basically only one medication to treat this disease.   now...there are over 25 different cocktails out there...so things have come a long way.

with medication and a healthy lifestyle...she should live a lot longer than 10 years.  her cd4 being in a normal range is awesome...something is working in her favor.  i have plans for my son to live at least until I'm in the ground...and i plan on living at least another 30 years.   i've told him he has to cry and feel the loss...since he has put me through so much in his short 29 years...lol.   there are many ppl who have been living with this for 20+ years.  

i hate to say this...but...it is time your friend faces the reality of having HIV.   i know she knows it...but she has got to accept it.  she should already be doing everything in her power to live healthy...even before she has to go on meds...and she might well be one of those ppl who doesn't have to do that for another 10 years or so.   i hope that you will encourage her to open up about what is going on with her family...their support is of the utmost importance.   i think she will find that after the initial shock...they will be her biggest supporters.   i cannot imagine my son facing this alone...and i cant imagine how betrayed i would feel if he had not told me.

kim

[hollywood1]

Hi my friend has been living with HIV for over 15 years. She seems to be in high hopes and in good spirits. One thing that worries me is the her t cells are at 200. Should I really be concern. Or with the advance medicines this can be controlled and the least stay at 200. I;m hearing anything under 200 is considered AIDS.

Vinny

[hollywood1]

Hi my friend has been living with HIV for over 15 years. She seems to be in high hopes and in good spirits. One thing that worries me is the her t cells are at 200. Should I really be concern. Or with the advance medicines this can be controlled and the least stay at 200. I;m hearing anything under 200 is considered AIDS.

Vinny

[Daveansh]

Hi..I am not expert..but with medication i know the t cells can be increased..