Aa
pos/neg couple - coping , information
I just recently found out my boyfriend of 2 years is Hiv+. long story but.....i am negative. Now that I know, I am interested in resources and information in coping with this and also ways to still have a normal relationship without putting myself at risk. if i wasnt in love with him, i would leave him. i cant promise i will stay forever, but my mindset right now is to love and support him.
can I kiss him without worry? some sites say yes and some so no. what about oral? same there i am seeing different views. It is important to me to still be able to make love with him. We are and always have been very affectionate. I have no problem changing things, but i want to know as much as I can to protect myself. I also realize that he may have trouble with it if he thinks he is putting me at risk.
I believe it was a miracle that I have had regular unprotected sex with him and not been infected. God is good! All the time!
can I kiss him without worry? some sites say yes and some so no. what about oral? same there i am seeing different views. It is important to me to still be able to make love with him. We are and always have been very affectionate. I have no problem changing things, but i want to know as much as I can to protect myself. I also realize that he may have trouble with it if he thinks he is putting me at risk.
I believe it was a miracle that I have had regular unprotected sex with him and not been infected. God is good! All the time!
This is an older thread, and the need for PEP has passed for the OP. Please remember that fighting and disrupting the forums is against the Terms of Use. Offering support is fine, but please do not continue to hijack this thread with the arguing.
Thank you and have a great day!
Thank you and have a great day!
My point was not the medication but the service it I was talking about, stop trying to dismiss genuine comments meant to help its really annoying! I think you quite like controversy but its not the place to be not picking really is it?
This was over 13 years ago its changed now, god your like a dog with a bone! What's with all the critical bs? Don't get it, is this not a help and support group? Jeez your hard work.
I meant PEP post exposure prophylaxis. Given within 5 days of HIV exposure blocks the HIV virus, I had it once I was on kaletra for 6weeks in a high dose, I believe its 4 weeks now on 2 drugs but as long as you take it then it usually works, its only available in the hospital gum still clinics due to the toxicity of the medication. Hope that helps
Poppy x
Poppy x
Teak your loving the bs comments today everything is bs, bs, bs lol give me a break! People need advice, is that not what this is about or is that bs too?
Oh you should certainly speak to the nurse regarding pap medication, just in case you have a breakage you can take the meds and block the HIV from taking over xxx
Remember he is the same guy and he is facing this huge issue will need your support and love and shouldn't be made to feel guilty it can happen to any sexually active person.
I'd suggest you go to the hospital and sit with one of the HIV nurses and get them to educate you on HIV from the basics through to safe sex and medication that way nothing will be a surprise and it won't seem nearly as scary. Be open and talk in bored my hubby to death about it, I wanted to know everything about it so I'd be able to understand him better. when we met and the first few times we had sex I was apprehensive but we soon forgot about it.
I'm HIV positive now too, and we have a son he's negative. When I was diagnosed I kind of blamed him and made him feel guilty I'm so ashamed I did that to him, it was a strange time for us.
Now we don't mention it unless we have hospital appointments or see somethng in the news. My six year old told his class about us and how proud he was, I expected the cold shoulder from them on but it was the opposite.
Your going to be OK, your all going to find your own ways to deal with it and soon it probably won't enter your mind.
Good luck, take care xxx
I'd suggest you go to the hospital and sit with one of the HIV nurses and get them to educate you on HIV from the basics through to safe sex and medication that way nothing will be a surprise and it won't seem nearly as scary. Be open and talk in bored my hubby to death about it, I wanted to know everything about it so I'd be able to understand him better. when we met and the first few times we had sex I was apprehensive but we soon forgot about it.
I'm HIV positive now too, and we have a son he's negative. When I was diagnosed I kind of blamed him and made him feel guilty I'm so ashamed I did that to him, it was a strange time for us.
Now we don't mention it unless we have hospital appointments or see somethng in the news. My six year old told his class about us and how proud he was, I expected the cold shoulder from them on but it was the opposite.
Your going to be OK, your all going to find your own ways to deal with it and soon it probably won't enter your mind.
Good luck, take care xxx
Teak I agree I've been poz 10 years and hardly been sick at all, my hubby was pos when we met and he's totally healthy too, I really hate the fact that people presume we are half dead at diagnosis its what keeps the very outdated stereotype alive and the stigma over HIV and those 'living' with it not suffering and certainly not dying!
Its classed in the UK as a long term manageable illness in the same category as diabetes my life span won't be affected by hiv, times have changed I wish people could keep up.
Its classed in the UK as a long term manageable illness in the same category as diabetes my life span won't be affected by hiv, times have changed I wish people could keep up.
I have be postive for two years and since I have been positve, my hubby has been negative. I was scared when I first found out and was scared to tell him. But I eventually had to cause this was nothing for me to keep a secret. But I explained it to him and it was his choice to determine if he wanted stay, but he did. I still felt like he still always held that over my head because he was negative. But he learned to cope with me through this. Im in my second pregnancy since ive been postive and they are both fine. You got yo be willing to support him through this and help him live life. He will be round a long time as long as he does what the drs tell him yo do.
What I have seen so far that you are putting all the blame on him and you were the one that put yourself at risk by having unprotected sex. No I was not scared or upset when I found. If you go to another forum I believe I would change my attitude or you'll get the same reaction from other positive people that answers questions.
i didnt come for a pity party i came here to learn. excuse me for not being an expert and for venting. i guess you were never scared or upset when you first found out. i certainly am scared. but i can see ive made a mistake. ill look elsewhere.
Most people that are infected don't dwindle away and most don't get sick. They lead a fairly normal life. I can't help that you lack the education and knowledge. I've lived with HIV for over 29 years and where you came up with your assumptions is beyond me. Now if you want a pity party you've came to the wrong forum.
hes 9 years older than me, not that it matters. i just dont like the idea of watching him dwindle away if/when he gets sick. as a medical professional i know these things still happen. its hard enough with people you dont love or live with. its a real concern of mine and if you cant understand that then please dont comment. i felt that was rude. i can find support somewhere else.
i am assuming it is normal for me to be depressed and emotionally destraught. i now have a flood of new emotions running through me. i have no one i can talk to. he wants to keep it private and i understand and cant negate that right. the one thing that is eating at me is that i am going to have to watch the man i love die. that would happen normally anyway but this just feels different. he drinks and smokes and other things that could lessen the effectiveness of treatment. ive tried to discuss it with him and since im negative he has taken a " dont worry about me " kinda stance. ughhh, i am venting i suppose. and im hoping in time he will let me help him with this. i am a medical professional. sometimes that is a curse as well as a gift.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the HIV, Living With Community
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
