HIV Anxiety Support User Group
Boyfriend from Virgin Islands
About This Group:

This support group is for those who are suffering from stress or anxiety associated with uncertain HIV status. HIV anxiety is extremely isolating for those who are going through it, as it is often very difficult to discuss with friends and family members. This group is provided for sufferers of HIV anxiety to discuss their fears in a supportive environment. Those with anxiety over non-HIV STDs are also welcome. For personal advice concerning HIV risk, testing, and prevention, please post in the HIV Prevention Community.

Founded by joggen on October 4, 2009
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Boyfriend from Virgin Islands

Hi. I started a relationship with this guy from the Virgin Islands September of last year and I'm really worried that he may have given me HIV. He always urged me to have unprotected sex with him because condoms are uncomfortable for him (which was really stupid, I should've stopped dating him after he said that) but I always refused and tried to remember to remind him to use a condom with me every time we had intercourse. Well, one day I slipped and he went into me without a condom and because I figured I had already messed up and was already infected if he did have anything, I gave in to his pleading and promising that he didn't have anything and that I should trust him a couple of more times. After this our relationship went more sour because I was worried about him getting me pregnant and I ended up leaving him.

The reason why I'm worried about getting HIV from him is because he was always sick. I asked him about all of his sneezing and runny nose and he said it was allergies (and I must admit they were allergy symptoms and they did get worse as the pollen increased in the air since it was fall). This was only a minor concern but then I connected it to him not using condoms with other women, traveling around the world probably having sex with women along the way (he was in the army), and he told me his last HIV test was about a year before we started dating. What really scared me was when I researched AIDS in the Virgin Islands and how bad it is. To keep me calm, I've been giving myself the reason of the doubt; saying that "Hey, he could have been telling the truth about his allergies." I always counter that with him possibly not knowing he's infected since his test in a year old.

The only kind of symptom that could remotely be connected with being infected is this stinging sensation in my jaw during my last "time of the month." I've never had symptoms so bad as that time ever before in my life but symptoms don't really matter and this point in time.  I'm also worried because after I broke up with this guy, I had sex with two others who could possibly be infected by me (one for sure since he went into me raw for like a minute or two). Both of them do not deserve to be dealing with my stupid mistake and I don't know how I'm going to tell them if I am positive.

I scheduled a test tomorrow morning and I'm beyond afraid. I'm trying to keep my cool but this is just a terrible situation in my case. I am 19 and I've been blessed to not have been any kind of hurt or sick and I'm just worried that my blessings may have run out this time; especially since I was more reckless than usual.

The reason why I'm doing a post is because I'm really stressed out about this, school and hurting those two guys who are good friends of mine. I know my case isn't as bad as some but it really helps just to talk about this to someone since my friends and family aren't an option (I really want to keep this private).

I just want to know how good my odds are of being negative if I have unprotected sex with someone who is from a place whose population is highly positive. He hasn't been home for like 10 years he says and he's only 23 so I'm probably negative but there's a good chance I'm not. I would really like to hear you guy's opinion since I'm going to be locked in my room worried for the next week or two about my results. It scares me more that the hospital I'm going to is only going to call if I'm positive. I keep seeing that unknown number coming up on my phone, automatically knowing what it's for and it psychs me out. My mom keeps knocking on the door wondering if I'm okay and I really think I should tell her so she can help me but she's only going to make matters worse by getting angry at my stupidity and shocked from knowing I'm sexually active in the first place (im the baby in the family and will always be lol). Sigh.. I'm stressed out. Please help me get through this until my results come.
Tags: HIV, virgin islands, boyfriend, Allergies
3 Comments
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sorry the post was so long. I guess I got carried away.
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1629919_tn?1407244906
Hiya. Your asking a question which really cannot be answered in the way you would like, because the only way to confirm your status is by testing.

Odds count for little when facts do and your testing is the only possible way to conclude this. Take in mind hiv is still quite rare, so fingers crossed you come out from this all ok.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks so much for the response. I guess I'll focus on letting school take over my thoughts and hopefully I'll be able to for the whole semester because I won't get the call. After writing all of that I feel much more confident though and I will take in mind that HIV is still rare as I didn't before.
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