Clueless

Still terrified of hiv after 4 negative antibody tests last one at 25 weeks. Started unprotected sex with my clean monogamous partner now she has had an abnormal Pap smear, and I still have all symptoms of hiv. Scared for my and gf's life. I'm goin to turn positive yet. :(

[Apollo1971]

You say still, dose that mean you have posted before under a different name, just out of intrest?

As for your post. Hiv has no specific symptoms to start with, so what ever they are, they could be anything.

Your 4 month test is certainly conclusive, which means you dont have hiv.

[Tooanxious4good]

No it means I'm still scared even with what I hear is a conclusive test. I guess in my case from what I've read hear and on other websites I may only benefit from a test that looks for the virus directly. I guess it may be worth the money but I'm so dang scared to get it done or to donate blood again. All this stuff started over time after a one time mistake of unprotected vaginal sex.

[Tooanxious4good]

What about my partners pap? She always had normal ones till I just started sleeping with her unprotected again since I've been told by doctors I'm 100% ok now I fear I'm not and I infected her as well. I've had zero other exsposures in that time.

[Apollo1971]

You have no reason to test again and the test you took would test positive if you had hiv, so your thinking is completly wrong.

The pap smear test would not be effected by anything  with hiv.

You issue is guilt pure and simple. Your guilt of cheating, she may well be unwell and in your guilt you belive you may have given her hiv although you test has proved YOU DONT HAVE HIV. Then in your mind if your wife has hiv your woukd then have to explain your actions and that you have given her hiv because you cheated..

Well the problem her is not your wife, or hiv its your guilt. Until you accept that and understand we all make mistakes that need to be left in the past you wont move on. This is backed that you want to have a test that finds the virus, like you would know that you have hiv by the way you feel? Then if that test didnt come positive what then, another test?

Your test was fine, you dont have hiv but you do have guilt issues that will take time to resolve, but until you stop deflecting from dealing with this issue and by that being obssessed with hiv, you wont move on.