HIV Anxiety Support User Group
Loosing my mind
About This Group:

This support group is for those who are suffering from stress or anxiety associated with uncertain HIV status. HIV anxiety is extremely isolating for those who are going through it, as it is often very difficult to discuss with friends and family members. This group is provided for sufferers of HIV anxiety to discuss their fears in a supportive environment. Those with anxiety over non-HIV STDs are also welcome. For personal advice concerning HIV risk, testing, and prevention, please post in the HIV Prevention Community.

Founded by joggen on October 4, 2009
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Loosing my mind

m a woman who had unprotected sex. For some reason after I started to panic about HIV. I was tested at 8, 13, and 17.5 weeks with a rapid finger stick test. All were negative. I have posted on both forums and everyone says that is conclusive.

However, the paper the clinic gave me with results states its not until 6 months has passed. I also called the CDC, and looked at their website, which also state 6 months.

The test was a rapid Clearview HIV 1/2, Im wondering if this is a 1st or 2nd generation test and that is why they state the window period to be longer. I understand that you all say here that it is only for people with immune suppressed systems

I can't get this fear out of my head. I go to bed and wake up as if I have this disease. Is there another test I should take that is maybe more sensitive?

I would like to start a new relationship, however Im not able to do that because I can't be %100 sure Im of no harm to others. I am seeing a therapist, but it really isn't helping much.

Please, I need someone to talk to, any advice, anything?
12 Comments
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Avatar_m_tn
From what I have read from what the doctors told you and me and tons of others you are negative forsure clearview 1/2 rapid test is totally conclusive at 3 months  you are fine I suffer from this worry too but I know that 3 months is conclusive the docs even say 6-8 weeks so don't worry you will be fine
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Avatar_m_tn
I sure hope you are right. It amazes me that there are soooo many organizations, doctors, clinics etc..that all seem to have a different opinion. So how is one to know who to actually believe.

Even on the community forum, the seem to argue amongst each other. And when anyone asks a real question, they get pushed off with the whole, you will be banned stuff. "move on" seems the answer to all, with no real scientific explanation.

So Im not so confident in that forum at this point. I do trust the DR's but there is still a part of me so unsure.

Im just trying to deal with my quilt and fear. I haven't seen my real DR yet, for fear he will tell me also about 6 months.
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Avatar_m_tn
I know what u are feeling and it is hard to cope with fear and guilt.there are alot of docs who have different opinions but most of them are not upto date wiith there knowledge so trust doc hook he is very update and is a expert in infectious diseases and knows more then most doctors so be confident in what he said .the experts like teak and Lizzie know just as much and I trust them as well I haven't seen them argue amongst each other but with people writing in they only state facts not odds so when testing comes in play they say the facts not odds and the question they told you to move on with was because no matter what generation test your negative :) plus if I read correct in my research that a 3rd :)your fine don't worry take a deep breath and then scream iam negative
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1629919_tn?1342415036
Ok, well look. Their is no conflicting information on the CDC or the Prevention forum. I think you may have got some information and not fully understood it.

The current CDC guidelines are 3 months unless your a long term IV drug user, on agressive chemo or medication for an organ transplant. If this does not apply to you, then you can be happy with your results.

To make clear, ANY test at that time scale is fine and thats ANY, although your test is a 3rd generation test.

Really you are fine. You may have worryed yourself sick and it will take a wee time to settle down, but it will :)

Just remember, use condoms and you wont have a worry.

Hope this helps.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you for the reply. However, the CDC specifically states only %97 will test positive by 3 months. It states nothing about who the other %3 are. I called them, numerous times, every person told me it was 6 months for everyone. Thats what is so confusing, this forum says the go off of CDC guidelines, however those don't actually appear to be their view. Also, like I said, my hiv testing clinic states 6 months.

My last test was at almost 18 weeks, Im really trying to believe that!

If I was a family member, would you have no doubt saying that Im HIV free %100? At that Im at no risk of harming anyone else?

Thank you!

Do you suggest maybe having a duo test, one that is more sensitive?
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1629919_tn?1342415036
Ok lets put it another way. I tested negative at 12 weeks and never had another worry about my status because modern tests are so accurate, infact of all the medical tests you can have they are right up their in reliablity. I mean would you really tell a doctor he might be wrong if he said you dont have cancer after a test? Take in mind they are far less accurate and cannot accutally test for cancer?

The 3% is what i said in the first post. The clinic is wrong about 6 months, then went out in 2004 !!!  So im sorry that your getting this duff information and i would urge them to read the doctors forum for better education.

To close, yes 100% sure you dont have HIV.

Their is a point your missing, if you use condoms, neither you or the other person willl be at risk, unless im missing somthing here, like you cheated on apartner?
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Avatar_m_tn
You hit the nail on the head. As shameful as I am, I made a mistake. I do not want to harm my husband.

I have not had contact with him, I would like to. However my fear is so unreal right now. I'm not sure when I will be ready to take that chance.

I cry everyday, it was a horrible mistake that I pray to God I will be forgiven for. So as you see all this confusing info is only making things that much harder.
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1629919_tn?1342415036
Hey look we all make mistakes, thats life but its how we move on and deal with them that counts. Sometimes you have to try and put them in the past. It will take a while, but it will go in time.

Well guilt is your main issue hear not hiv. Guilt does not increase your risk but more ability to deal with the facts, so take a deep breath and slow down.

The facts i have given you and the other forums are correct. You had a risk you tested and your negative, and their is nothing that will change that fact.

How long it takes you take this onboard is up to you but the facts are straight forward. A negative at 12 weeks is conclusive.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you very much Apollo. You are being a great help to me, if not just for the fact that I can say this to someone!

My rational mind is telling me I have tested another 6 weeks past the "conclusive" 12 week mark and Im probably fine. The man says he tested and was negative, but I never actually saw the result paper. Im hoping he wouldn't lie to me. He will no longer speak to me because he also thinks Im nuts. Which, right now I am.

This is a learning experience that I wish I never put myself into. But whats done is done. Maybe will make me a better person in the long run.

Thank you very much again, maybe I can hug and kiss my husband tonight!
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1629919_tn?1342415036
I think you should do that, im sure he would welcome that.
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Avatar_m_tn
Your worried because you are a high-principaled person who made a mistake. We are all human. Your are in the same boat as me BUT you have a conclusive test. Mine is just a 7 week "reliable". You are free to put this behind you forever.

I strayed too and it will just take time to iron itself out. You WILL be a better person: it's a certainty. Trust your instincts regarding your marriage, but ignore your paranoia about HIV.

I too took the Clearview test and it's as good a test as any. You are out of the woods.


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Avatar_m_tn
Not all of your mistakes have to have the worst possible consequence, HIV. You need to focus on the facts, sex with condoms is 0 risk for hiv. That's why it is called  safe sex. Also guilt and anxiety will do some crazy things to your body. I know it hard i am their right now I made such a huge mistake and I feel like I don't deserve to live but it doesn't change my situation. I also had no risk and as hard as it is for to accept that it is the truth. People mess up and it's not the mistake but how you live after the mistake. Let that be your penance and spend the rest of your life trying to make one another Happy most importantly let the hiv thing go, close this page and move foward.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU DON'T HAVE HIV
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