May be its guilt but here goes...
I have been married for nearly 12 years, I had not have penetrative sex with anyone else except for my wife. However, in the past year I began to visit massage parlors. Some of those visit were totally innocent, but there quite a number of those involved getting "hand-reliefs". I knew that getting handjobs were relatively safe, and already being told my the good people at the HIV prevention forum that these activities carries no risk. However, my wife, the angel that she is continued to treat me well, without the slightest hint of anger even that she knows of these massage visits.
The last time I went to a massage place was earlier in January. When the massage lady (fully clothed) was dealing with my penis, I kinda felt that her hand was not really that smooth. I thought nothing of it, until the end of January when I had sex with my wife, and ejaculated in her. A day or two after that, both of us developed fever and cold like symptoms. This got me worried that I might have contracted something (possibly from a cut or abrasion on her fingers). To cut it short, she eventually recovered from the symptoms, but I myself never got over the symptoms fully. I still have this sickly feeling (without high temperature), sweats. I know my fears are probably irrational. The logical side of me is telling myself that I am most probably allright. But the constant "what-ifs" loop in my head is killing me. I am just scared to death right now.
I have tested 4 weeks after that episode. It was negative. I have had hoped that would help with my anxiety a little. But alas, it only got worse...