I am here because part of me feels I am justified to be worried but another says move on there's nothing to be worried about. A close relative of mine is HIV+ and whilst at the dinner table thought or maybe it did happen felt some spit land on my lips you know a few skittles etc. I think I have developed a AIDS phobia as a result of their status so my guard is always up around them. So it's no surprise to say I freaked out massively, my head was spinning and had a panic attack. It was cold so my lips were chapped and I have been thinking the saliva entered my bod through my cracked lips! I have read HIV info which says you can't get it through saliva , it's not infectious or active etc but I am still scared. It's like part of me feels annoyed that I came into contact with an HiV+!persons fluid even if not infectious it scares me like what if I have been put at risk? Going for a test would be too traumatic so I want to belie e I am being irrational and move on because at the moment I don't. I have been crippled with fear and anxiety to the point where I have developed OCD from replaying the event asking myself time and time again if the spit actually landed on my lips or did I imagine it (I could have been so freaked out that's its loss I imagined it but then again is it?) also depression has kicked in cause I feel my life is ruined, don't look forward to things, daly tasks are a struggle because I am constantly worried about this. I am trying to make sense of this all - have I developed anxiety from nothing? Did I have an exposure to HiV? Could it have possibly entered my body? Cause for concern or worrying needlessly? Please help this is slowly taking over my life, feel like I am drowning with fear it's so real!
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