Aa
Skin Penetration.
Hey Community,
Like most of you, I too have dwelled in moments of paranoia and anxiety about my potential risk of HIV and Hep C.
Now I know from a previos experience that I am worried well individual, but let me tell you guys why I am worrying this time around.
Like most of you I picked up a CSW. I had oral sex performed on me with a condom, and after reading the initial post I know that oral sex without a condom is no risk of transmission so I'm safe especially after wearing a condom. However, when I was going to climax I moved around inside the car to attempt to ejaculate on the worker but as I was doing so a pen that was laying around in my car entered my skin but I didn't feel (I have a high tolerance for pain). So as I was driving home I felt a fuzzy feeling in my foot and I pulled over to see what it was. Once lifting my pant I noticed a piece of metal sticking out from my knee. I immediately freaked and broke down at the moment. I thought my life was done. So I went back to confront the CSW and she didn't know what the little piece of metal was. So we both looked around my truck for potential objects until we concluded that the metal part was actually the tip to my pen. Turns out when I moved around to ejaculate on her I accidentally stabbed myself with it.
So through this whole time I've had reoccurring thoughts that she put the pen there on purpose so I can stab myself, but after thinking about it, things don't make sense because she would have had to stab herself with the pen first in order for me to infect myself (and her stabbing herself doesn't make sense either) and aside from that nothing would guarantee her that I would come in contact with the pen, so there would be no point for her to leave it laying around in the first place. (It might be guilt but somehow I thought she wanted to hurt me)
Then as that idea went by I began to "what if" myself and began thinking that if I didn't feel the pen go in my leg, then "what if" she stabbed me with something else like a needle?
I guess what I'm thinking is just all nonsense and it's irrational thinking as a result of my guilt (I have a Girl) and paranoia.
In the end I guess the driving force behind most of us posting here is the fear of our mortality.
I'd like to add that I was tested at 3 weeks and it was negative. My encounter was March 26. I have been told I should be ok for both HIV and Hep C, but I can't not to worry which is normal. I'm just ranting off right now and helping myself overcome this anxiety after realizing I was at no risk and I have been getting better day by day but I guess I just need to reassure myself.
Like most of you, I too have dwelled in moments of paranoia and anxiety about my potential risk of HIV and Hep C.
Now I know from a previos experience that I am worried well individual, but let me tell you guys why I am worrying this time around.
Like most of you I picked up a CSW. I had oral sex performed on me with a condom, and after reading the initial post I know that oral sex without a condom is no risk of transmission so I'm safe especially after wearing a condom. However, when I was going to climax I moved around inside the car to attempt to ejaculate on the worker but as I was doing so a pen that was laying around in my car entered my skin but I didn't feel (I have a high tolerance for pain). So as I was driving home I felt a fuzzy feeling in my foot and I pulled over to see what it was. Once lifting my pant I noticed a piece of metal sticking out from my knee. I immediately freaked and broke down at the moment. I thought my life was done. So I went back to confront the CSW and she didn't know what the little piece of metal was. So we both looked around my truck for potential objects until we concluded that the metal part was actually the tip to my pen. Turns out when I moved around to ejaculate on her I accidentally stabbed myself with it.
So through this whole time I've had reoccurring thoughts that she put the pen there on purpose so I can stab myself, but after thinking about it, things don't make sense because she would have had to stab herself with the pen first in order for me to infect myself (and her stabbing herself doesn't make sense either) and aside from that nothing would guarantee her that I would come in contact with the pen, so there would be no point for her to leave it laying around in the first place. (It might be guilt but somehow I thought she wanted to hurt me)
Then as that idea went by I began to "what if" myself and began thinking that if I didn't feel the pen go in my leg, then "what if" she stabbed me with something else like a needle?
I guess what I'm thinking is just all nonsense and it's irrational thinking as a result of my guilt (I have a Girl) and paranoia.
In the end I guess the driving force behind most of us posting here is the fear of our mortality.
I'd like to add that I was tested at 3 weeks and it was negative. My encounter was March 26. I have been told I should be ok for both HIV and Hep C, but I can't not to worry which is normal. I'm just ranting off right now and helping myself overcome this anxiety after realizing I was at no risk and I have been getting better day by day but I guess I just need to reassure myself.
Yea brother I seem to realize that now as time goes by, I guess it is true when they say time heals all wounds. It's been 1 month and I have to say that the first 3 weeks were extremely horrible for me because somehow I led myself to believe I was truly infected and through my stress I stopped eating and eventually ended up losing nearly 12 lbs (I needed to lose weight anyway lol) I went from 228 to 216.
After reflecting on this situation I realize it truly is very humbling. One moment were fulfilling our human desires and feeling on top of everything and the next moment we are scared for our lifes. I guess what most of us worried well individuals fear is fear itself and the process we actually go through which is the 3 month window (if were ever at risk).
Like I said I'm on an uphill battle (hiking lol) to once again regain the stability I had and rid my body of the anxiety, helplessness, and depression I brought onto myself for having these irrational ideas. I believe I can speak for many of us when I say that even though we have been told there is no risk or low risk we still can't drop it because of all the emotions we go through and once we are assessed we realize for a moment that were ok, and rationally we know were ok but once the anxiety strikes back we attach a meaning to it and somehow we end up in the same place where we started.
I for one need to continue the journey I was on and finish the semester strong, and also treat the anxiety and the symptoms, not potential symptoms I may have from a virus I never came in contact with.
I'd like to thank you man, as well as Teak, Vance, Lizzie, and Rick for giving their time to answer all of our questions.
Oh and like you, I will try to help people out by answering their questions. I may not be an expert or well versed like many of you but I have been spending most of my time on the boards reading different peoples questions and answers. So hopefully one day I can be instrumental to people.
Final thought, I said it was a humbling experience and I believe it was also a life changing experience for me. I always knew I wanted to major in nutrition but I didn't know what setting I wanted to focus on. Since this event I believe I now what population I want to work with.
Till soon brother, thank you.
After reflecting on this situation I realize it truly is very humbling. One moment were fulfilling our human desires and feeling on top of everything and the next moment we are scared for our lifes. I guess what most of us worried well individuals fear is fear itself and the process we actually go through which is the 3 month window (if were ever at risk).
Like I said I'm on an uphill battle (hiking lol) to once again regain the stability I had and rid my body of the anxiety, helplessness, and depression I brought onto myself for having these irrational ideas. I believe I can speak for many of us when I say that even though we have been told there is no risk or low risk we still can't drop it because of all the emotions we go through and once we are assessed we realize for a moment that were ok, and rationally we know were ok but once the anxiety strikes back we attach a meaning to it and somehow we end up in the same place where we started.
I for one need to continue the journey I was on and finish the semester strong, and also treat the anxiety and the symptoms, not potential symptoms I may have from a virus I never came in contact with.
I'd like to thank you man, as well as Teak, Vance, Lizzie, and Rick for giving their time to answer all of our questions.
Oh and like you, I will try to help people out by answering their questions. I may not be an expert or well versed like many of you but I have been spending most of my time on the boards reading different peoples questions and answers. So hopefully one day I can be instrumental to people.
Final thought, I said it was a humbling experience and I believe it was also a life changing experience for me. I always knew I wanted to major in nutrition but I didn't know what setting I wanted to focus on. Since this event I believe I now what population I want to work with.
Till soon brother, thank you.
"I guess what I'm thinking is just all nonsense and it's irrational thinking as a result of my guilt (I have a Girl) and paranoia."
That about sums it up. From my time on HIV forums it seems clear that there is something about encounters with CSWs that trigger such paranoid thinking.
That about sums it up. From my time on HIV forums it seems clear that there is something about encounters with CSWs that trigger such paranoid thinking.
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
