So Scared... Please Advise

I have been dealing with this horrible anxiety for the past seven months, despite three negative test results. Today I am freaking out because a friend massaged my hands. At the time, I thought nothing of it. However, I just now realized (to my horror), there are scratches on my hand. The scratches are from my cat and are a couple days old, but they don't look fully healed/scabbed over. Could you contract HIV from a friend massaging your hands that had scratches on them??? There was no blood or open wounds on her hands, but what if there was a microscopic cut? Please advise. I am freaking out here.

I can't believe I would so thoughtlessly put myself at risk. I am so paranoid about HIV - I don't have sex; I don't partake in any high-risk behaviors. But then I go and do something careless as this. Please help. I am freaking out here. :(

[Apollo1971]

The only way forward for you is to get professional help for your phobia of HIV. Its way out of control and i dont think a forum can help you in the way you need.

[lotus1989]

Thank you for your response. I am going to see a counselor on Monday actually. But to answer my original question ~ I should be ok from the hand massage? Even though I had scratches on my hand?

[Apollo1971]

Im glad your going to get hekp buds and to answer the question, you would be at no risk of \HIV at all :)

[lotus1989]

Thank you so much for the feedback. It really does make me feel better.

I know why I have such terrible anxiety, I just don't know what to do about it. The night before New Year's Eve, I got taken advantage of (sexually) by a horrible guy. & I ended up getting herpes from it. Then the realization hit me like a ton of bricks... omg, if I got herpes from this, what else could I have possibly gotten??? That is when the terrible fear set in.
Seven months later and three negative tests later, I am assured I did not get HIV from the incident (or hepatitis or anything else). However, I now have an overwhelming fear of the disease. I am so scared of it. Herpes I can live with; HIV I could not.

[Apollo1971]

Im sorry to hear what happned to you, im sure that alone was very distressing and to some extent the route of your problems with your current mind set. You really should concider having some counselling for what happned to you.

Well what else would get is a naturally question but you have tested negative so you dont need to worry about that anymore.

So really its up to you know to accept the facts but also to get help now. Many have here and they have come back with a different mind set and got over their fears, and im sure you will to. ;)

[lotus1989]

Thank you for all the support. It really does help. I definitely believe that incident triggered my current state of mind. It was not the first traumatic thing to happen to me, but it was definitely the final straw that caused me to snap :// Hopefully, through counseling, I can heal and become whole again..