HIV Anxiety Support User Group
Trying to move on
About This Group:

This support group is for those who are suffering from stress or anxiety associated with uncertain HIV status. HIV anxiety is extremely isolating for those who are going through it, as it is often very difficult to discuss with friends and family members. This group is provided for sufferers of HIV anxiety to discuss their fears in a supportive environment. Those with anxiety over non-HIV STDs are also welcome. For personal advice concerning HIV risk, testing, and prevention, please post in the HIV Prevention Community.

Founded by joggen on October 4, 2009
1284 members
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Trying to move on

I am trying to put behind me this situation.
I am married and i come from an extremely conservative family, with tons of guilt built in.

I had unprotected sex with a girl in December. I felt she was clean, and that I could handle it, but boy was I wrong.
By day two, I was a basket case. I was in a mental prison. My body was in sheer panic. To add to the anxiety, I had to spend lots of time with my family all together, and my wife decided she wants to have another child. The anxiety/guilt was off the charts.

I tested myself repeatedly,

DNA/PCR @ 19 days past

and then about 20 a/b tests, both rapid and blood lab draws. In addition I asked the girl to test, I took her at the 10 week past mark (73days) to labcorp. I got the results and they were negative.

I had some elevated WBC and Lymphocytes. My doc said its unrelated but this further kept me worried.

I have some white tongue and burning in the mouth, I went to 3 ENT's. 1 said Candida, the other two said nope. Two
tongue scrapings came back no fungus, but I still have the burning, which comes and goes.

I just went for another rapid test, Unigold A/B. just shy of seven months. thankfully negative.

let me ask the question the other way. Is it possible that all those tests on me, and the test on her could have missed something?

I am seeing a psychologist, but its going really slow. I know the guilt/anxiety/ocd are the main drivers of the fear. Can I absolutely rely on all these tests?

thanks for your help.

Hiya chap. Well lets put it this way, if you were not married would you be happy with these tests, im sure the answer would be yes - correct?

Now if these tests were for cancer would you be asking this question, im sure not although cancer is a lot harder to diagnose.

So the issue is nothing more than Guilt that is ripping your gut apart and questioning these results. You made a mistake but you cannot live in the past from it, you need to understand we all make mistakes and move on from what happened. Getting help is slow, but it will pay off for sure, in time.

As for your results, their NO concern in my mind that you are HIV negative, none at all. HIV tests are so accurate not to mention the volume you have taken that you should take your results and move on.

No harm has been done, so dont create any now with yourself.

I hope that helps

first, we are the same age, just for a perspective.
second, if i wasn't married i prob would have been over it long ago.

logically I agree that with all those tests, its over. just the doubt creeps in, and i have to push it out. my psyco doc, says im using std's as a vehicle to punish myself. I agree, i will continue to work with him on it.

funny thing is, I have a Gay friend. I leaned on him during this time. He asked me a very good question. What will it take for you to believe the test results. I told him "I dont know".

thanks for the help, I guess I will slug through the process,( I see im not alone) and try to let it go.

All the best


Still have the burning sensation in my mouth. Had 4 tongue scrapings, no fungus.

I just want and got a rapid orasure finger ***** test. Negative 216 days, 7 months.

Still a bit of concern?

should I do a DNA/PCR?

please give me your opinion
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