HIV Anxiety Support User Group
Very very concerned :(((
About This Group:

This support group is for those who are suffering from stress or anxiety associated with uncertain HIV status. HIV anxiety is extremely isolating for those who are going through it, as it is often very difficult to discuss with friends and family members. This group is provided for sufferers of HIV anxiety to discuss their fears in a supportive environment. Those with anxiety over non-HIV STDs are also welcome. For personal advice concerning HIV risk, testing, and prevention, please post in the HIV Prevention Community.

Founded by joggen on October 4, 2009
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Very very concerned :(((

I can't get over the stress and anxiety that i may be infected.

my last HIV test was in mid 2011. Since that time i have had about a half dozen one-time encounters with CSWs (vaginal and oral always protected) and a serious of encounters with one CSW in particular (unprotected oral and protected vaginal always). I have also had a number of oral sex encounters, unprotected with non-high risk girls.

i keep reading that as long as vaginal was protected i am safe. i also keep reading that i would know if the condom broke (i dont recall this happening at any time)

its going on four months now and i have had so many random symptoms. i cant bring myself to go for an HIV test, im too afraid of the result.

what kind of kicked all this anxiety off was that one week i had a CSW encounter (oral unprotected and vaginal protected) and an encounter with a non CSW girl just kissing and mutual masterbation (masturbation). Not sure what caused what but i ended up with a small pimple on the side of my scrotu, whcih stayed as a pimple for a couple months before it got a bit inflammed and eventually went away. I also noticed a very red patch when i peeled back my foreskin at the base of my penis head. this redness went away after a few days, it felt like a popped blood vessel (the handjob i got was in a drunken state and kinda rough) but im not sure.

some of my other symptoms from the past few months:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Scared-of-the-symptoms-I-am-showing/show/1769900#post_8181200

right now, the dizziness has subsided mostly but not completely. i have been gettin colds more often than i ever have - 3 in the past 2 months. and i have a very slight dull ache in what i think are my groin nodes (although they dont seem to be swollen, i can feel them but not swollen). i also obsess about the nodes under my jaw. again they don't feel swollen, they seem a bit large but i dont know, i only started to notice they were even there after my episodes and reading about ARS symptoms all over the web.

I google and try to self diagnose on a daily basis, which i know deep down is not helping.

What do you think of all this? Am i at risk for infection????????????
11 Comments
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1629919_tn?1342415036
Well protected sex is just that protected and not a risk of HIV. Only because you have paranoia it dose not increase the risk to yourself.

My advise,

1, Stop sleeping with CSW's.. Its not helping your mental state.

2. Maybe seek help to help you over come these fears.

3. Stop googling, it helps nothing but to fuel your fears.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks.
It seems like a general infection and has some similarity to hiv symptoms. Particularly tingling and slight ache in groin nodes.
Maybe the condom broke one time or maybe because of the red sore on the head of my penis, when i received oral i was infected. The only CSW i received unprotected oral from, swears up and down she has been tested recently and is clean, but maybe her tests were taken too early.
I had general blood work testing - everything was fine except my lymphocyte %.it was slightly higher than normal range - 49%, where 45% is normal. Which may mean i am fighting an infection.
I'm still really worried about it. I haven't felt entirely well in months.
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1629919_tn?1342415036
If the condom failed you would know for sure, so dont let your mind play tricks with you.

You cannot get HIV from some one giving you oral sex. Saliva is not a risk of HIV transmission or kissing would be a risk, so again nothing their which should create any concern for you buddy.

We all get ill from time to time. Somtimes we are just run down other times it needs a doctor to have a look at you. You could just have a simple viral infection, they are very common. I had one last year and i had it months.. It took me ages to get over it. The best way is keep working with your doctor and forget about HIV. If you cannot, then for peace of mind take a HIV and std screen and be done with it.
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Avatar_m_tn
God bless you.
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1629919_tn?1342415036
Cheers Nuts, Good Luck. Im sure all will be fine :)
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Avatar_m_tn
Man, my nodes under my jaw/chin seem quite large. i have some puffiness/irritation under my armpits (cant really tell about the nodes there) and my groin nodes also mildly ache. The groin nodes ached quite a bit a few weeks ago when i had a cold. Also i have a dry mouth.

I'm still so freaked out. I've read that swollen nodes in those areas together is a potential early symptom of HIV (after ARS).
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1629919_tn?1342415036
How do you know they are quite large, are you a doctor? Have you felt them in 1000's of other people to compare them? NO, of course you have not, so you cannot make such a statement.

We all have nodes and we can all feel them its normal. If they were the size of a golf ball then you should be concerned, but it would not be down to HIV as you were not in a risk of getting it.

Stop searching you body, your looking to find somthing that is not their.

Nuts, you really to either accept facts or you must get help for this obession with HIV. Its not healthy for you and more so its such a shame to waste your life on sonthing that cannot be, so please understand the facts the condoms are 100% safe and any illness you get will not be down to HIV. It you cannot then you need to get help.
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Avatar_m_tn
My general doctor felt my chin ones and agreed they were a bit large. She is sending me to get an ultrasound of them. After telling her again about the aching in the groin, she checked my nodes, said they were no enlarged. But she did say to go get tested for STD's including HIV.
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1629919_tn?1342415036
Then when you get tested you can rule this out for once and for all. I have enlarged nodes, no idea why. Ive been testec for hiv etc and other tests, but they still have no idea, so its not uncommon at all.
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1831637_tn?1323268054
Nuts, I have to agree with Apollo. This is an unhealthy obsession. Human anatomy variates to an enormous degree and your symptoms can be explained by a multitude of reasons but HIV isn't one of them. You do not have HIV, try to concentrate on that for a change.

Best wishes
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Avatar_m_tn
I tested for HSV1 & 2, Hepatitis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia etc and all were negative, thankfully.

I was too scared to get an HIV test. I have to do that next, trying to work up the courage.
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