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HIV Prevention (Expert Forum)
Being safe with a female partner who has genital herpes
by Turgon4, Jul 02, 2006 12:00AM
I'm a guy and I hope to have sex with an important girl who has genital herpes (I don't have herpes or any STD). Sorry, I know these questions don't sound romantic, but better to be safe.
I'm worried about two things.
1) I hear the virus can be spread even when there are no symptoms. The condom doesn't cover everything. Should I also try wearing underwear to cover my scrotum (her outbreaks are on her perinium)?
2) If I try cunnilingus on her should I use a dental dam? I don't know if she would feel anything through the barrior, or if the risk is small if she is not shedding.
Ofcourse, any date would have to be rescheduled if there's an outbreak.
Thanks so much for your help!
I'm worried about two things.
1) I hear the virus can be spread even when there are no symptoms. The condom doesn't cover everything. Should I also try wearing underwear to cover my scrotum (her outbreaks are on her perinium)?
2) If I try cunnilingus on her should I use a dental dam? I don't know if she would feel anything through the barrior, or if the risk is small if she is not shedding.
Ofcourse, any date would have to be rescheduled if there's an outbreak.
Thanks so much for your help!
Doctor's Answer
by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D., Jul 02, 2006 12:00AM
, Jul 02, 2006 12:00AM
It seems to me you are overreacting a bit. In general herpes isn't such a horrible deal that should so radically alter the sex life of people in mutually caring relationships (which is how I interpret your term "important"). If you want absolute, total protection against herpes, your best bet is to forego sex with this person and find an uninfected partner.
The main strategies to prevent genital herpes are 1) avoid sex when the infected person has symptoms; 2) use condoms consistently (which are highly protective, although not perfect); and 3) antiviral therapy of the infected person. Consistent use of any 2 of these methods is highly protective; and consistent use of all three may come close to 100% effectiveness.
Herpes does not often infect the scrotum; for practical purposes, only your penis is at risk. HSV-2 is rarely transmitted to the mouth; and when it is, typically doesn't cause symptoms or recurrent outbreaks. It can happen, but not frequently enough to take special precautions in cunnilingus except to avoid it if/when your partner is having an outbreak. In any case, I find it difficult to imagine a bigger turn-off (for your partner, if not you) than having sex wearing jockey shorts; and most people feel pretty much the same about dental dams (which no longer are seriously recommended by any health authorities).
In today's vernacular, does a "date" always mean sex? Perhaps you will agree that dinner and a movie would be safe.... ;-)
Bottom line: Herpes isn't a big enough deal to be as concerned as you seem to be.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
The main strategies to prevent genital herpes are 1) avoid sex when the infected person has symptoms; 2) use condoms consistently (which are highly protective, although not perfect); and 3) antiviral therapy of the infected person. Consistent use of any 2 of these methods is highly protective; and consistent use of all three may come close to 100% effectiveness.
Herpes does not often infect the scrotum; for practical purposes, only your penis is at risk. HSV-2 is rarely transmitted to the mouth; and when it is, typically doesn't cause symptoms or recurrent outbreaks. It can happen, but not frequently enough to take special precautions in cunnilingus except to avoid it if/when your partner is having an outbreak. In any case, I find it difficult to imagine a bigger turn-off (for your partner, if not you) than having sex wearing jockey shorts; and most people feel pretty much the same about dental dams (which no longer are seriously recommended by any health authorities).
In today's vernacular, does a "date" always mean sex? Perhaps you will agree that dinner and a movie would be safe.... ;-)
Bottom line: Herpes isn't a big enough deal to be as concerned as you seem to be.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
I caught mine when I was young and stupid, the girl I was with had an active sore that we both talked about but she said it was where her underwear rubbed her raw when she was working out at the gym. STUPID ME! Prior to that we had sex for a year without any problems, she said she did not know she had it?