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Brand New Question, New Scare
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Brand New Question, New Scare

Hey guys, so, I'm sadly back.  

I was having enough trouble as it was accepting my 11 week 5 day NEGATIVE Rapid Oral Mouth Swab Test, but I had another event recently that I'm worried about.

During the entire time I waited for the 12 weeks, I had met a wonderful girl that I really like.  Little did she know or little does she know that I've had this huge HIV scare, but I've tried to not let it effect the relationship.  I took it really slow because I was afraid to engage in sexual activity with her, just in case I did in fact have it.

We finally started having sex a few weeks back, always safe.  I've definitely learned from my 1 night stand mistake. Also, I've been sober for every act and I remember every event with this new girl.  

What happened was as follows. I went to visit her, and she said she was just finishing up her period.  I didn't want to have sex if she was on her period, I'm definitely not a fan of that.  Anyways, she said she was on her last day and it would likely be very light if any blood at all.  We started having sex and upon pulling out for a new position I noticed my condom was COVERED IN BLOOD.  I told her we needed to stop.  Again, little does she know how scared I had been over HIV over the past weeks, and seeing a CONDOM Covered in BLOOD was NO WAY to EASE my worry.  

As I took the Condom OFF I NOTICED Blotches of BLOOD on the shaft of my PENIS.  I don't know how they got there. I didn't notice the condom break and I'm still not sure if it did or not. However, there is no denying that some of her blood was on my penis.

I am now very scared, again.  And, to be quite honest, I'm still scared of my 11 week 5 day test, just because I'm so unsure of all these different guidelines of when to obtain a NEGATIVE result

My question is this to Teak and Getitright77 and NurseGirl:
1.) How worried should I be about this recent encounter and
2.) Should I wait another 12 weeks to obtain a new NEGATIVE result for this possible huge risk
and
3.) Please don't be mad about this new question. This is a very real SCARE for me. And I'm very worried.

Please, any knowledge on this situation would be nice.
Tags: HIV, getitright77, nursegirl6572, 3 monthsS, ARS, condom, Period, Blood, 12 weeks, conclusive, 13 weeks, teak, 6 months
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15 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
1. I wouldn't worry at all because the odds are on your side here.First of all I doubt she has Hiv,secondly you used a condom and transmission takes place inside the body not outside it as you probably already know,also,it is much harder for a man to contract Hiv from a woman than the other way around. 2.It's not a huge risk,it's no risk at all.I wouldn't test at all. 3.You don't need to be worried at all.You had no risk.
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Avatar_m_tn
No risk because when I pulled out I still had the condom on? I was just confused as to how BLOOD got on my shaft. A condom breaking is something I would have noticed, correct?! Jeez, I can't believe this is happening all over again. This one definitely isn't as scary as the last one, but is still a scare in my mind
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480448_tn?1403547723
You had ZERO risk.  What is important is that the HEAD of your penis remains covered during sex, which it was.  It doesn't matter if any (or a lot) of menstrual blood was on the shaft of your penis, scrotum, or otherwise, and before you ask...that is the case even if you had a small cut anywhere on your genitalia.

I would highly recommend seeking some professional help for your HIV fears, which seem to be developing into a chronic anxiety issue for you.  Until you get your anxiety under control, it would be wise to avoid situations that will cause you anxiety, like having sex with any partners.  You are in a fragile state of mind and are in no position to deal with these scenarios.  With the amount of anxiety you are having over a no risk situation, could you imagine that if you really DID have a risk (ie...condom failure)?

Get yourself some help.
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Avatar_m_tn
And GetitRight, I do really owe you guys much gratitude.

Thanks again for always informative and kind responses.

Nursegirl, I agree, I should avoid sex, even with a girl I'm seeing, at this point.  I can't control my anxiety after my inital scare which I think I have documented as much as possible during my 3 months on here.  I always thought I would be the person who, upon receiving his NEGATIVE 12 week test, would be thankful, learn from a mistake, take it as a lesson, and move on. But I haven't been that person and I can't control my fear and my worry that for some reason, my test at 11 weeks 5 days wasn't enough, and that I deserve to be punished for my 1 sexual mistake in my life.

And now, even with this girl I like and who I've been on numerous dates with and with whom I waited to be intimate for weeks, I still don't TRUST her and I still fear this RECENT SCARE that I just posted.  At least the HEAD of my Penis was covered, and I guess I would have known if the CONDOM broke!? I don't think it did. And I only had blood patches on my SHAFT upon taking off the condom.  
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Avatar_m_tn
I think you are still in shock over the last situation that you went through but I honestly believe you are worrying for nothing here and you had no risk.As long as you use condoms correctly and ever time you engage in sexual activity there is no reason why you can't continue having sexual relations,just be safe as you were in this situation.Please enjoy the new year knowing that you are safe.
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480448_tn?1403547723
"But I haven't been that person and I can't control my fear and my worry that for some reason, my test at 11 weeks 5 days wasn't enough, and that I deserve to be punished for my 1 sexual mistake in my life. "

Telltale signs that your anxiety is out of control.  Get some help.

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Avatar_m_tn
I believe your fear is real but not justified in this particular situation.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you.  So, basically, I can take it to the bank, still, that my test from my 1st initial and very real scare at 11 weeks and 5 days is CONCLUSIVE.  

If I can find a way to accept this maybe I can move on. I will seek some help for my anxiety, and hopefully that will help as well.  I think if I can find a way to let go of my guilt and still the bad feeling I have about what I did that night, maybe I can get past this. But it is hard.  I still get sick just thinking about the event and I still get scared, even though I have a NEGATIVE test at ALMOST 12 WEEKS....ALMOST.
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Avatar_m_tn
Your negative test result from your last incident is conclusive and this incident was a zero risk situation.You don't have Hiv,what you do have is worry and stress caused by irrational thinking.Have a chat to zamzam4,she is excellent to talk to in these types of situations.Take care.
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480448_tn?1403547723
11 weeks and 5 days is CONCLUSIVE.  ABSOLUTELY.  No further testing is needed.

If I can find a way to accept this maybe I can move on. I will seek some help for my anxiety, and hopefully that will help as well.

That's just it...many times, when anxiety becomes this severe, one needs professional help in order to accept something as being true so moving on is possible.  

Until you address the anxiety, you will stay stuck in the cycle of anxiety.  I've lived with anxiety all of my life (unrelated to HIV) and trust me...anxiety left untreated seldom gets better on its own.  It doesn't matter what the "fear" is...HIV, snakes, flying, panic attacks, health anxiety...anxiety is anxiety and it needs to be treated in order for one to learn how to break the cycle of anxious thinking,
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Avatar_m_tn
thank you, I agree. I will seek immediate help for my anxiety before it spirals out of control, which, trust me, it is almost there.

At least I can celebrate my conclusive result, right!?

HAPPY NEW YEARS
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Avatar_m_tn
I just don't know how you can engage in sexual activities that fast. I am married and am super afraid to engage in any sexual activiy with my wife since i am still convinced i have it. This is how HIV is spread. I was thinking that some people do not learn from mistakes and continue to hurt others. If you know or think you are poz please do not approach other people sexually. I think that even after 30 years, HIV is a mystery.
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186166_tn?1385262982
hiv is not a mystery.
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480448_tn?1403547723
I second that...HIV is no mystery, it is a viral illness with a very specific mechanism of transmission.  It's the education surrounding HIV that is the problem....people are still stuck on all of the misconceptions about HIV, which are wrong.
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Avatar_m_tn
I continue to engage in sexual activity because
1.) Every time in my life -- except for the 1 main scare that led to this -- I've engaged in safe sex or in unprotected sex only with long term girlfriends that I truly trust (we are talking after a year or two)
2.) At this point, the girl I'm with, I'm using a condom, and being safe.
AND, most importantly
3.) I tested out NEGATIVE at 11 weeks in 5  Days, which is basically CONCLUSIVE that I DON'T HAVE HIV, therefore
4.) I can't pass it on to anyone if I don't have it.

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