Concern I May have Contracted HIV/Aids!

[Queersexual]

Let me preface this by stated that I was diagnosed with Anxiety by a doctor in January 2018!
(She did not draw blood or check for any STI/STDs)

My boyfriend and I broke up in March of 2017.

So, I did what most gay men do after a break up and downloaded the dreaded Grindr.

As everyone knows, Grindr is synonymous for hookups.
So naturally I had a few male encounters here and there.

Let me give you my entire “hook-up” history;
(starting with the most recent hookup after my boyfriend and I separated)

September 2017:
Only Oral Sex
(I only received oral without a condom)

October 2017:
Only Oral Sex
(I again only received without a condom)

November2017:
Only Oral Sex
(Once again, I only received without a condom)

December 2017:
Only Oral Sex
(This time I was the giver and he was uncut! He ejaculated on my chest so no semen was consumed)

Janurary 2018:
Only Oral Sex
(I was the reciever, but I wore a condom)

Feburary 2018:
Only Oral Sex
(I was the giver, but he ejaculated on himself, so once again no semen was consumed)

So, recently I’ve been having chest pains, but I’ve been shaking it off as anxiety.

Some days I wakeup and I have to check my pulse because I’m frighten my heart will stop.

This leads to me feeling extremely cold and I shake until I take a warm shower.

I also had a dry cough for about a week, but it is Spring time here and it has subsided now.

I’ve also been sweating more than usual in my sleep and most days I’ll wakeup with a sore throat.
(I constantly sleep with a ceiling fan on)

Then I started feeling extremely tired and exhausted lately.

Here recently I’ve also had stomach cramps and diarrhea.
(recently as in today and the day before)

Given I have a horrible diet!
I hate vegetables, so I’m often constipated as I don’t get enough fiber and last night I had a 16 Oz milk and roughly 15 cookies.

So a few weeks ago I got extremely worried and went out and purchased an OraQuick HIV testing kit.

So, I swabbed my mouth and waited the appropriate 20 minutes!
(I will insert pictures of my results if possible)

I looked at the test and there was a line at ‘C’ and no line at ‘T’ so I was immediately relieved.

Being the over analyzer I am, seconds after feeling relieved at first glance I decided to look harder ultimately turning on my flash and looking.

I was instantly filled with regret because I could see the most faint line at ‘T’ but it was EXTREMELY faint!

So faint that sometimes I would look away then look at the test again and the line would be gone!
(Only to concentrate extremely hard yet again and find the faint line)

So I took pictures and now I nearly stare at them everyday trying to make sense of them.

I got so discouraged I called the OraQuick hotline and spoke with the representative and he said holding a flashlight to it isn’t recommended and it was probably just the vacant red gutter that is pre placed in the test.
(I really hope that last part made sense)

Which was reassuring for a bit, but shortly after the wheels in my head began to turn!

Lastly, let me state that I realize I should go have blood drawn from a doctor, but I don’t have health issuance!

And I live in a rural area where we don’t have free hiv/aids testing!
(I googled and we don’t even have any in my state at all)

And the last time I went to my doctor in January it was extremely/extremely expensive.

I do plan on saving up to get a blood test done soon enough, but I’m just looking for reassurance.

I get that really any sexual practice without protection is risky.

I’d even say sex with a condom is even risky because you take the risky of it breaking, slipping off, etc.

I was just wondering am I being crazy and overanalyzing?

Or should I genuinely be worried?

Test results as of March 2018:
https://ibb.co/mSQpjn
https://ibb.co/fQXrx7
https://ibb.co/hOptAS
https://ibb.co/jS3aPn
https://ibb.co/desrx7

[AnxiousNoMore]

Advise me if I missed something, but the only  pertinent detail I saw in this epic post is that is you only did oral.

If so, you had no risk for HIV and a test would be a waste of time.

HIV is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.  
Only adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex
3. sharing needles that you inject with. Knowing these 3 are all you need to know to protect yourself against HIV. Your situation is a long way from any of these 3, and even if you think there was no air contact, there was..
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established so there is no detail that you can add that will make your encounter a risk for HIV.