Concerned! Need Advice!

[Knicksfan08]

Hi Dr.

I have recently had sex with a young girl (20yrs old) from South Africa who is in the states on a hiatus from her studies. I am extremely paranoid because I know that South Africa is the country with the second largest percentage of HIV infected individuals after India. The girl is white, comes from a good family, and does not appear promiscuous (but you never know). I asked her if she had ever been tested and she said no, but that she is a frequent blood donor and claims that they are notified if the test ran on the donated blood comes back positive. I checked out the validity of this claim and found out that, according to a preeminent blood donating service, individuals whose blood is shown to be HIV positive are not informed about the result (contra the popular belief). Also, and I do not in anyway mean to be prejudicial, she has been involved with persons of color, and it is a known fact that HIV in SA is most prevalent among people of color (esp. blacks). Should I be concerned? Does this place her at risk? I used a condom at all times during the encounter and do not recall any slippage  and there was no rippage. What are the chances, even if she did have HIV, that it could be transmitted during condom-protected sex? She did, however, perform unprotected oral sex on me, but there were no cuts on my penis or in her mouth (from what I can tell). All in all, what worries me most is the fact that she is from SA and that she has been involved (though most in steady relationships and thus most likely unprotected) with persons of color. I really appreciate your time and advice. And again, I do not in any way mean to be racist or prejudicial...these are simply real concerns I have (perhaps most of which stem from ignorance). Thanks Doc!  

[alienshadow]

Thats correct Teak

[Teak]

So? You gave incorrect information. A good reason why you shouldn't be advising people of anything.

[kmh504]

so...

[alienshadow]

thats a late response

[kmh504]

Of course if all the sex was truly protected. Then it is up to you.

[kmh504]

I said get tested 1. for your anxiety and 2. Because you had sex with a high risk individual, just because she is white doesn't mean anything. She comes from a country where HIV is the most prevelant in the world. Period.

[alienshadow]

point blank TEST so you know your status
you had no risk
now look in the mirror and say it over and over until you believe it

[Knicksfan08]

As I was careful to qualify, I didn't mean to prejudice in any way. The fact is, as you are well aware, HIV is more prevalent among blacks in SA. If I have offended you, I sincerely apologize. When you advise me to "get tested," is it because of the risk I may have been exposed to, or is it because of my anxiety and thus the only way to relieve it is with a test? Please be specific. Also, I used a condom. If she did have HIV, would I still be at risk? I read differing responses across the board: some say that proper condom usage protects 100%--would you say otherwise? Other sites say different. Also, what constitutes proper and effective? Is it evident when a condom breaks? Lastly, as one who has lived and studied in SA, are blood donors informed about their positive HIV results? I would greatly and thankfully appreciate your answers...and again, I apologize for my igorance.

[Knicksfan08]

As I was careful to qualify, I didn't mean to prejudice in any way. The fact is, as you are well aware, HIV is more prevalent among blacks in SA. If I have offended you, I sincerely apologize. When you advise me to "get tested," is it because of the risk I may have been exposed to, or is it because of my anxiety and thus the only way to relieve it is with a test? Please be specific. Also, I used a condom. If she did have HIV, would I still be at risk? I read differing responses across the board: some say that proper condom usage protects 100%--would you say otherwise? Other sites say different. Also, what constitutes proper and effective? Is it evident when a condom breaks? Lastly, as one who has lived and studied in SA, are blood donors informed about their positive HIV results? I would greatly and thankfully appreciate your answers...and again, I apologize for my igorance.

[kmh504]

And don't be ignorant in terms of race. I studied abroad in th most white city/univeristy in South Africa and some of thos rich whites were more promiscuous and careless than the blacks and coloureds. In fact, of the 20,000 students at that university (less than 5% comprise black Africans), only 1,000 students went for HIV testing during campus testing day and of that, 10 percent came back positive. Even if all the black students went for testing-which I highly doubt they did - the other half of that percentage would have to come from somewhere else...Teak said it - ignorance. My boyfriend I had while I was there was from Ghana and really dark in complexion but only had one girlfriend before me. I stereotyped him based on his color too making him go for test after test jsut because of his ethnicity. Then I thought, hmm look at these white rich pricks that **** around and are automatically seen as clean because of years of "white is right mentality" in South Africa and prejudice against black Africans in a mulititude of ways. I quickly corrrected myself- as you can see from my previous post and now feel ashamed for blaming someone right away based on race alone. Stop being stupid and get tested.

[Teak]

People that test positive at a blood bank are advised. They get a denial of service and are told to see their doctor. You had protected sex and didn't have a risk. You said it well, your problem is ignorance.