I am a single gay male who doesn't have sex very often. Last night I met up with another gay friend of mine, and we decided to have anal sex. I wound up being the bottom (receptive partner). After about a couple minutes of protected intercourse, I had him pull out of me because I needed a break. I then saw that the condom had ripped, which meant his bare penis had been inside me with no protection! I had him put a new condom on and we continued to have sex, but then the second condom slipped off or broke too! UGH!! When the condom broke, he reassured me and said, "Don't worry, I'm negative." But how can I just take his word for it?
The two condoms broke prior to his ejaculation. (He ejaculated later into a third, intact condom.) Nevertheless, it's still possible for some of his "pre-cum" to have been exposed to me earlier on...
I've known this friend/acquaintance for 3 years and I have never known him to be promiscuous. But I really only see him occasionally and I have no idea what he does when I'm not around. He also says that he doesn't have sex too often either (which hopefully means he hasn't accrued a lot of potential exposures). However, one thing that concerned me was his initial eagerness to penetrate me, in the passion of the moment, without a condom. I had to explicitly remind him to put a condom on prior to each insertion. (I always insist on condoms.) I am also upset that the condom broke not once, but twice! I have never had this happen to me before. Could this be an indicator that he doesn't know how to put a condom on correctly (possibly due to inexperience with condoms)?! Another explanation could be that I haven't had sex in a while, so it was a bit awkward for me to be penetrated (which could have put stress on the condom).
Should I be worried? I don't think that he was in me unprotected for more than 15 seconds (both times), and this was prior to ejaculation. On the other hand, I'm freaked out that his penis was inside me without protection no matter how briefly, because I have never had unprotected sex in my entire life (outside of a long term monogamous relationship).
My question is: What are the chances or risks that I contracted an STD or risked a potential HIV exposure?
My second question is: Should I go on a PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis)/antiretroviral regimen for HIV prevention or will this be an overreaction?
Obviously, I will have myself tested in 3 weeks and at periodic intervals after that. But as for today, I need to make a quick decision about PEP for not because there is only a 72 hour window.
Please help, I'm quite disturbed by what happened and wondering if I should see my doctor tomorrow (if PEP is indicated here).
I just spoke with him and he says he was tested Negative this Summer 2010. Since then, he has only had sex one time (with a condom), before me.
It's just that I feel one might not even be entirely sure of one's own risks, so his verbal reassurance isn't 100% reassuring to me.
Right now, I am just trying to decide if I need PEP or not before that 72 hour window closes on me. I know I am coming off as paranoid, but until one has had an accidental exposure, you don't know how scary and disturbing it can be.
It's always better to be safe than sorry. Which is why PEP is still on my mind.
PEP is usually only warranted for exposures to people who are CONFIRMED to be HIV positive. If you are extremely worried, I'm sure you could go to a hospital and explain your situation and have it prescribed to you. You could try contacting the guy again and express to him that you are very worried and anxious, and perhaps request that he be tested with you if he is willing to do so. If he is willing, chances are he is negative and you have nothing to be worried about. I think getting PEP is entirely up to you, given that a doctor will prescribe it to you even though your partner is not confirmed to be positive.
I do kind of agree with you that PEP might not really warranted here, given that my partner is a friend of mine and I **THINK** he is relatively low-risk. He has already told me he tested negative and has only had one sexual encounter since his test this past summer. Because my friend/partner is not confirmed positive, as you said, it might be up to the individual clinician's judgment as to whether or not they would be willing to write me an Rx. And would it be worth it for me to endure the side effects of PEP over a month's course of taking it? Got to weigh the risks vs the benefits.
Would you recommend I see my doctor tomorrow to discuss PEP or am I wasting my time in doing so? Am I overanalyzing?
You can discuss it with your doctor. I hope you have good insurance or plenty of money because a 28 day supply is very expensive. It would be alot cheaper to take your friend to be tested at the time you see your doctor.
Good advice. After thinking about it for a little while, I am leaning against PEP. I don't think the risks are high enough to warrant it. I do have health insurance, but my insurance ALWAYS gives me a hard time with prescriptions, so I'm sure they will stomp their feet on this one too. (I heard that PEP is $600 to $1,000.)
I might go to the STD clinic tomorrow morning and discuss it with the doctors/RN's there to get their feedback, before I make my final decision. (I feel they might be able to give me even better advice than my primary care physician since this is their specialty.)
Thanks again for your comments. Please feel free to continue to advise if you (or anyone else on these forums) have any additional thoughts on this to help put my mind at ease with this decision. I appreciate it!
Thanks for both of your input. I went to the STD clinic and spoke with a counselor. After the conversation, I felt like the minimal risk of exposure I sustained did not justify the harshness of PEP on my body and my immune system. I am kind of over this incident, and feeling much better. My gut feeling is that my partner is negative, and I am too. I am still in contact with him, but I have not asked him to be tested with me. I am going to get tested myself next month and then in 3 months just to be sure. But until then, life goes on!
Thank you ... I had the same exact experience where my an on-line hook-up who pulled out and I noticed the condom broke. He put a second condom on immediately which stayed in tact. The paranoia is in full throttle. He too said that he was negative... he swore on it (even to God), but I'm still taking a strangers word. He's bi-sexual and said the last time he hooked up with a guy was with me and it was about a year ago. Of course I'm worried about pre-cum!
I too feel like the chances are lower then to take the harsh PEP. Your blogs helped me with my decision. Thank you for blogging on this subject. I think I'm going to call him to see if he will get tested with me.
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