Crying Holidays

I just do not know how am I going to make it for another month to have my final test. I did not test for hep C,doc says I should but I will just take my final. Today I’ve noticed that my swollen  lymph nodes are symmetric, as the CDC says they are. Anyway, somebody asked Teak if only babies and HIV carriers get candida. I had also oral and vaginal. Merry Christmas everybody!!! I just wish I could stop crying the nights and make it trough the Holidays….

[diver58]

I can well understand your level of anxiety and stress, it happens. Swollen lymph nodes have many reasons other than HIV. Similarly, Genus Candida, a kind of fungus infection can be caused due to other reasons. Please relax and wait for your final test, going to be negative,,, Wish you all the best, Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year,,, Good Luck. Believe me, never go after your symptoms seriously, it is the test which is conclusively final.

[stelutu]

thank you so much....i certainly hope so, as the last 5 months i've been trough hell. even when I ask at the farm for sth for an oral candida...they ask..."why do you have that? Have you ever tested for sth more...special....like HIV???? i just cannot live like that...it will drive me crazy..... :((

[stelutu]

I had a happy 22 year life, I study 2 Universities and I screwed up everything. Now I watch happy people cerebrating Christmas and I would advise any living creature not to ruin everything for a moment of pleasure…..i am sorry for what I did

[alex64]

Hi,

i'm having candida  and swollen lymph too.
And i have the same feeling about people celebrating Christmas.
I understand you very well.

[Teak]

I'm having a great time and I'll have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

[stelutu]

well, I am really happy you can. I really can't stop thinking about my 6 months test. It would be the 8th miracle I think if my test wouldn't turn......May God bless you all!

[leanwitit]

look 3 months is good enough why torture yourself before santa claus comes maybe he will bring you a negative test result move on you dont have hiv

[JohnDoe2378]

i have lymph nodes on my neck to, and they are at the same point on both sides, does that have any meaning because you do mention symetric....and i have been negative at 3, 3 1/2, and 4 months....and recently ive had a stiff neck, burning feet, lymph nodes, constant headaches, and ive lost so much weight due to loss of appetite, but the weight thing is mostlikely from depresion and anxiety, isnt 3 months supposed to be enough?

p.s. i cant even study or live normally, i feel like my lives on hold until im confirmed 6 months negative, and its mainly due to these symptoms

[leanwitit]

look you are confirmed now move on and study why let this get you down when you have tested so much

[stelutu]

Look, are you sure a  negative 4 months won’t turn into positive, due to all these symptoms? He seems to have all I have had 2 months before,and my test seems to bee positive. You do not say that there is no possibility we are positive. Is there??? Seems there are at least 100 to turn after 3months. Can I be sure? I couldn’t eve stand up due to headakes. Does anybody know how severe were ntjock symptoms? How late did he turn??

[Teak]

You're negative move on.

[JohnDoe2378]

seriously, everytime i get up it feels like my head blacks out for a sec and iv been taking advil daily...
stelutu, honestly chances are that we are negative according to the 3 month window, imagine my fear, my p24 is also reactive, and i get these chills in my body that are very odd, but these symptoms wont let me go
but we have to try to think on the positive side, 97% of people convert by 3 months accordind to cdc, and check this out
http://www.sfaf.org/aidsinfo/faqs/faq.html

its unlikely that were positive(knock on wood)
but just that little chance is killing us because we couldnt imagine being postitive
idk, its all so depressing

[stelutu]

But man…I’ve been hearing everywhere about 99% at 3 months. I took a elisa vironostik hiv uniform II Ag/Ab at 18 weeks, reactivity 0,25.  I thought at every possibility. It’s said that the test is good and it would find a new infected 1-2 weeks ahead of another test. I also had very very big headaches …it’s been killing me for a month. Candida oral and vaginal…..nodes…I am worse than worried. I have been living like that for the past 5 months. Anybody, help???

[Teak]

You're beyond the help of any forum. Seek one on one help with a mental health professional.

[stelutu]

Tell me, do you really think anxiety could cause all these headaches that i could not even stand up for a month, nodes and candidas? I do not think u can provoke that to yourself......have u seen -ever- all these and the one being healthy after all? I really tremble! :((((((((

[Teak]

Move On.

[stelutu]

Teak…..ok..let’s just suppose I have a great deal to be scared as hell…..sometimes I do not even think at my future, existent or not. But I do not have any guts to start a relationship, although I would like that very much. Should I tell him? It wouldn’t scare him off? Could I be a criminal and infect him?

[Teak]

What is there to tell him? That you have a mental issues? You don't have HIV. Now move on.

[stelutu]

Ok…I can see you really believe I have issues. But all these symptoms? I did not invent them, they were real and not anxiety…candida and  headaches for a month? Strange...I still hope you are right and not the farm that would not sell me sth for oral candida before asking if I have HIV…..do they know better? I really try to tell myself I am…ok. But nobody seems to believe.

[JohnDoe2378]

hey stelutu, at least ur antibody test was a good one
i dont even know if i can count on the ones in India, i dont know if they are FDA approved
and my p24 was reactive
does anyone know someone normal who converted after 3 months?
is my negative after 3 months enogh?
should i be worried?

[stelutu]

PS: me too, please!!!

[stelutu]

Listen : i had sores in my mouth, terrible pain in my throat, they say it was the nodes that hurt, and also white tongue. What do you think? Sincere. Could a 4 months test turn around? I am freakin scared.....

[stelutu]

Nodes and headaches also bacteria?what about my 4months test? What do you believe?

[alex64]

Did you also had candida that didn't   want to go away like mine?
I  have it in the bowel effecting mouth and genital area.

[alex64]

Yes
I'm also taking medicines that are doing nothing

[leanwitit]

move on

[jon33070]

stelutu. did you have sore in your mouth?

[jon33070]

5 months is pretty conclusive

[Teak]

Take your non HIV concerns to another forum.

[Teak]

Candida, is not a specific symptom for HIV and you know it. It's a common occurrence. When we are dealing with HIV posts they are all HIV related.  

[Teak]

Take your BS to another forum.

[stelutu]

Well….thank you very much, I would really want to believe that. I know anxiety could be you first enemy, but I really was extremely seek and after 3 months…all gone, except for nodes, sore trough…any illness, any bruise takes a month to heal…have you had the nodes also if you had them all? Can I really be sure about my test? It was Elisa vironostik hiv uniform II Ag/Ab , the result was negative, with reactivity 0,25. I also found out the Ag p24 search was in vane, since the test was 18weeks post exposure  and the antigen would not be detectable any more. I am also scared I could have hepC, being the reason my 3tests showed up fine. Thank you for your definitive answer: CAN I relax?    

[LIZZIE LOU]

why are you "looking" for things to be wrong?  i am having a hard time understanding the nature of your worries.  YOU HAVE AN 18 WEEK NEGATIVE TEST.  what do you need?  will you ever accept your results?

you did not have unprotected sex.  you had oral sex which is virtually no risk at all.  it has never happened.  

keep reading...keep searching...stay here and keep company with the worried wells.  it wont be long before you are convinced that you didnt even use the condom...or it busted and you didnt know it.  join in the ranks of those who have lost all touch with reality.  diagnose yourself...i'm sure you can come up with alot more things than just hiv.  pretty soon...you wont even be able to leave the house.  you will be glued to the computer...searching...reading...discussing every "normal" occurance you find...or imagine.

stop this insanity before it is too late.  you have a negative test that proves that all of your symptoms are NOT related to hiv.  YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV.

[stelutu]

Well….thank you very much lizzie. I know about your sad story and think all of us are just worried wells. I can understand that. I can also tell you that I have never been..to the doc before these 5 months. I was normal, than this happened and everything I tried to do was so hard…my head just killing me, I could not stand up…than I hear ntjock saying seroconverting is the worst period of your life….well, for me it was. I HOPE YOU ARE RIGHT!!!

[LIZZIE LOU]

oh sweetie...my story is not sad...my story is my life.

i have four sons that i love beyond belief...they are my world.  each one of them has brought joy to my life and i wouldnt trade my experiences for anything.  

my son christian, who has hiv, was a crystal meth addict for over 10 years.  he was literally killing himself.  since being diagnosed with hiv...he has cleaned up his act and is now married, working, and living and loving life for the first time in a long time.  if NOT for hiv...my son would probably be dead by now.

some wonderful ppl have come into my life in the past few months since his diagnosis...this makes me happy...not sad.  i have two new daughter in laws.  my son, davis has been drug free for two years...happy not sad.  my youngest son is in his second year of college where he received a full scholarship to the engineering school at auburn university (extremely happy...lol).   my oldest son brought a grandson to my life...and THAT makes me happy...not sad.

so ya see...my story is not sad to me.  my story IS me.  

[stelutu]

you see….I believe life is supposed to teach everyone of us a strong lesson. I’m only 22 and I still can say these past 5 months turned around everything I ever knew…your story is one of the new lessons. You can still enjoy life and your large family. I used to be smart, degreed in 2 fields, a master, and I enjoyed life! Now everything is twisted. I do not recognize my body, I am scared as hell for my 6month test and I …wait for what the future will bring me. Just wait. And think about my folks: I love them, I’ll miss them, I do not know how to tell them, I could have a relationship that I now miss…. I am only scared from all the things I used to be. And I envy you for your strength and you joy to live, as I know I will not take well my result as it would…I don’t want a think about it… you are a good person…sensible and powerful. I am afraid I won’t be…

[LIZZIE LOU]

just so that i dont have to go back and read alot of posts...lol...will you tell me please, exactly "why" you feel you need to test out to six months?

fact #1...3 months is conclusive
fact#2...you do not fit the criteria for someone who should test beyond 3 months
fact#3...you have an 18 week negative result
fact#4...you are an educated young woman...who, i might add, got there by learning, believing and accepting "facts".

[leanwitit]

know that you know lizzies family history listen to her she has been threw a lot and she has risen to the top and it seems she is a very supoortive mom which i do not have good job lizzie and godbless you and thanks for being so supportive here and also i would just like to say sorry again for all the things i have said to you

[stelutu]

Thank you, Lizzie. Yes, knowing the stuff i do also means accepting the facts. But since when is human body a fact? Since all my symptoms are here, i feel i can’t be sure of anything.....3-4months is conclusive,yes. I haven’t yet tested for HepC,so i am afraid. Still very afraid. My education says let it go, being scared for my own life says go get tested....

[kimoz]

I have all these symptoms too for a year, swollen nodes, white tongue, candida... you name it. So I understand how it is like.

[LIZZIE LOU]

then by all means...go get tested...just to ease your fears :)

have you ever been to the zoo?  did you see the sign that said "dont feed the animals?"  your anxiety has become THE animal...and you are feeding it.  i can understand that you feel the need to test...but why bring on more anxiety while you are waiting?  PLEASE...stop the searching...get off the forum.  you know when your testing date should be...just get tested.  dont drive yourself insane while you are waiting.

[stelutu]

Dear Lizzie, I really hope all my fear is in vane. Since Ntjock had so few symptoms and still tested+, i am getting even more frightened. All the info is confuse. They say 3 months from 90-99% accurate. Is a big difference.....also i have another thing that is supposed to encourage me. The worts period has been 1-15oct and i’ve tested neg at 4 dec, still i had the lymph nodes for a month. I know the nodes are containing antibodies, so if they were big a month before, they should reveal a pos test after a month, nop?

[leanwitit]

its a mind game thats all anxiety will kill you quicker than all this nonsense you are talking about today  get off the net and enjoy the holidays

[Teak]

Seek professional mental health help. ntjock status has nothing to do with you. Your status is negative. You've tested beyond when one can get a conclusive test result.

[JohnDoe2378]

First of all i wanna thank Teak, Lizzie Lou, Leanwitit, and all of you that have tried to eaze my worries even though anxiety was killing me......
and stelutu, Ive been going crazy and my p24 was reactive
and ive had all these symptoms....white tounge, constant headaches, loss of appetite, lymph nodes
itching, huge loss of weight, frequent urination, stiff neck, and chills....
heres the good news, i just went and got tested today and its been 5 months and 10 days since my intercourse and i was elisa negative....they also did some other testing and my iron was a little low,
and its because i havnt been eating properly, I dont have HIV, im not even gonna get tested at 6 months anymore, I asked my doctor if i have to get tested at 6 months and he laughed and said, "I didnt need a test even after 3 months", all my symptoms were from a poor diet, depression, and anxiety, im not even gonna get tested at 6 months, and he just prescribed me to take some multivitams with iron in it.......Im sooooooooooo shure you are fine...3 months is enough, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS...................dont even doubt it for a bit, ur fine


























p.s. dont doubt it ur fine think positive in life






















dont doubt itttttttttttttt, ur fine

[stelutu]

Thank you so much!! I also hope it is something else....i can't even think at my symptoms and nodes, doc sais nodes could be sth else so I hope and pray and will get tested at 5 months after the holidays, by being afraid of HepC+Hiv. i am so glad you are just fine and thank Teak and Lizzie and Chris and all of you !!!

[LIZZIE LOU]

come on now sweetie...IT'S CHRISTMAS :)  :)  :)

get off the forum...just today...and enjoy the blessings God has given you.  

MERRY CHRISTMAS ! ! !

[stelutu]

Sorry I think I am just so scared of HepC causing late seroconversion that I can’t dream anything else even on Christmas. If it turns my test...I do not know how I can pass the days...being so difficult even now, when I don’t know for sure... Merry Christmas, LIZZIE !

[Teak]

HCV does not cause late seroconversion. They both have the same window period 3 months.

[stelutu]

Teak, I think u have just told me the first thing that relieves me. The point I say that is because I heard of at least 3 cases of seroconversion after 6 months due to HCV. I hope it is not my case, but I am certainly taking the test for HepC as soon as clinics open!!! Merry Christmas to you too!!

[Teak]

Merry Christmas to you too.

[alex64]

I have seen on the Queensland Health website that Hep B is delaying seroconversion.
I had Hep B in the past. Maybe that's one reason i'm not seroconverting yet.
I hace clear signs that i'm hiv positive and i have been infected with the strain E (CPR A/E), unfortunately the deadliest one. (average 7 years life after infection)
I have continuos noises coming from my stomach/bowel.
Lymphs swollen everywhere and a candida that doesn't go away even with treatment.
I'm having the worst period of my  life  and i don't know what to do when also the tests will tell me that i'm HIV+. My life was totally depending on my health, expecially my work.

[Teak]

Move on.

[alex64]

I'm having candida since three months. I have been checking all the causes (except HIV) that can trigger it (drugs, diabetes.....) and i have nothing of those.
How can i explain it then? The only one can be HIV.
My exposure was high risk (more intercourses). Not only one.
Before this period i didn't know what was a Lymphnode. Now i look like a Christmas Tree....
Easy to say move on. Not so easy do it....