Depressed and feel the guilt!

You know the old Latin saying: errare humanum est, perserverare diabiolicum!
My case exactly.

After a full STD check the last year, because I'm weak and the meat is weak too, I made another mistake.

I was quite drunk and went with a street prostitute.
She made me ONLY an unprotected blowjob.
It seemed all ok in the meaning I didn't see any blood or other of strange on my penis that I remember and also because I knew there's no risk for HIV from this kind of sexual act,but just see the coincidence, and after 1 week, it has come up a swollen gland on my right part of the groin.
Because I'm lucky, clearly the gland is still enlarged.

Now I'm again in the nightmare of the paranoia.

What's happened?
Am I perhaps the first world case of HIV caught by insertive oral?
Is it possible the previous customer,perhaps HIV+,has ejaculated in the mouth of the prostitute, she hasn't spit well all and that something of sperm has remained and it has infected me through the blowjob?
It can be?

In short,the usual paranoic questions and the usual nightmare.


Please help me to stay quiet.

Have I to make an HIV test in your opinion?
I'm now scared about the possible result and I feel the guilt and the shame.

[Teak]

No incident HIV infections among MSM who practice exclusively oral sex.
Int Conf AIDS 2004 Jul 11-16; 15:(abstract no. WePpC2072)??Balls JE, Evans JL, Dilley J, Osmond D, Shiboski S, Shiboski C, Klausner J, McFarland W, Greenspan D, Page-Shafer K?University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, United States

Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update
J Campo1, MA Perea1, J del Romero2, J Cano1, V Hernando2, A Bascones1
Oral Diseases (2006) 12, 219–228

AIDS: Volume 16(17) 22 November 2002 pp 2350-2352
Risk of HIV infection attributable to oral sex among men who have sex with men and in the population of men who have sex with men

Page-Shafer, Kimberlya,b; Shiboski, Caroline Hb; Osmond, Dennis Hc; Dilley, Jamesd; McFarland, Willie; Shiboski, Steve Cc; Klausner, Jeffrey De; Balls, Joycea; Greenspan, Deborahb; Greenspan
Page-Shafer K, Veugelers PJ, Moss AR, Strathdee S, Kaldor JM, van Griensven GJ. Sexual risk behavior and risk factors for HIV-1 seroconversion in homosexual men participating in the Tricontinental Seroconverter Study, 1982-1994 [published erratum appears in Am J Epidemiol 1997 15 Dec; 146(12):1076]. Am J Epidemiol 1997, 146:531-542.

Studies which show the fallacy of relying on anecdotal evidence as opposed to carefully controlled study insofar as HIV transmission risk is concerned:

Jenicek M. "Clinical Case Reporting" in Evidence-Based Medicine. Oxford: Butterworth–Heinemann; 1999:117
Saltzman SP, Stoddard AM, McCusker J, Moon MW, Mayer KH. Reliability of self-reported sexual behavior risk factors for HIV infection in homosexual men. Public Health Rep. 1987 102(6):692–697.Nov–Dec;

Catania JA, Gibson DR, Chitwood DD, Coates TJ. Methodological problems in AIDS behavioral research: influences on measurement error and participation bias in studies of sexual behavior. Psychol Bull. 1990 Nov;108(3):339–362.

There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANSFIELD

"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANSFIELD

"I am sure you can find lots of people who believe that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK

"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK

in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA

"HIV is not spread by masturbation, through oral sex, through kissing or other casual contact." Dr.Hook

"The observation on thousands and thousands of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort)." DR HOOK

[RainLover71]

You never had a risk of hiv transmission from the unprotected oral sex that you received and do not require any testing either.All the best and stop worrying for nothing.

[Grendizer]

Thanks for the answer guys.

Perhaps it's a coincidence but the gland has swollen exactly after the received oral and not after I went out from the mall or the bookshop. :(
Really a coincidence?

Hope really you're right.


I don't want to be the first infected by strange ways from an insertive oral. :(

[LIZZIE LOU]

not going to happen  :)

[Grendizer]

Ok, guys.
Now I become scared BIG.

The lymph node swollen on the right side of my groin is STILL there, plus now I have 2 or 3 bad red sores on the glans (glands) of my penis.
It also hurts me quite to have a pee.


So I went to the family doctor today and he gave an antibiotic and surprise,surprise a syphilis test plus an HIV test!

I told him that the only sexual risk had was that damned unprotected insertive oral in October ( so 9 months ago! ), but he insisted for the HIV test.

Why?

Now I'm still in the nightmare and I continue to think and re think I have caught HIV or normally through insertive oral directly from the mouth's prostitute or perhaps through some trace of semen perhaps remained from the previous customer, hypothetically HIV infected, that it could have been ejaculated in the mouth of the prostitute and she hadn't spit all the semen very well and all.

Please comment this situation.
Can it be a realistic way to get HIV?

Please help me.
The situation is too stressing and I can't bear the stress of another HIV test.
I don't want to do another HIV test, Jesus!
I lost 5 years every time in stress. :(

Teak,Lizzie,others please help me to calm down.
I don't want to have caught HIV throught insertive oral.
I really don't want. :(

Please help me.

[Vance2335]

No it is not a risk, Teak gave you a number of quotes from HIV experts and research showing no risk. Is your Dr an HIV expert? Does he have over 30 years dedicated to STD's and HIV? Probably not but Dr.HHH and Dr.Hook do.

[Grendizer]

Hope you're right Vance.

I tell because sometime seeing all the answers from Dr. Hook, HHH, Sean and Josè regarding insertive oral risk, I see some contradiction or distinction between zero risk and very low risk.

They're not the same!


Have you considered what I have explained about the hypothetical remained semen of the previous client in the prostitute's mouth?

What do you think about it?

[Teak]

No risk. Saliva has over a dozen different enzymes and proteins that inhibits HIV transmission.

[Grendizer]

Ok Teak.

But if the saliva of the prostitute would have been mixed with the remaining semen of the previous client in the hooker's mouth?

This is the problem.

[Teak]

No risk.

[Grendizer]

It wouldn't my mouth, but the prostitute one.

Anyway I have really appreciated the answer of Teak and I'll go quietly to do the HIV and syphilis test given by my family doctor, even if I think he was wrong.

[brancleon]

Hello, sorry for butting in, Teak gave me an answer about three months ago when I got extremely worried about a prostitute tapping the head of my penis on her wet vagina ( I think twice). The responses were that I was never at risk, I really try to listen and calmed down. Took an Eliza test at three weeks only, everything came up negative, I was more concerned about Chlamydia , Syphilis, Gonorrhea at this point, but all came back negative. I remember always feeling good, no symptoms besides some horrific 90 days from the fact where my paranoia of being infected spikes, then relaxes and so on. Finally decided to go back for one more conclusive Eliza after 90 days, this will be Monday, but this time I am paying for it out of my pocket because I do not want to wait three weeks for the results. I trust Teak completely by his experience, but I can't help but to feel nervous. I sworn it would never happen again, but reading this post I see that you may have problems related to worry and anxiety. Trust me my friend, I have had 90 days of hell, and this won't be over for another few until I get confirmation, I can guarantee you that the mind can brake you down physically, but what I wanted to share is, I went to SAA because i cannot believe I was putting myself at risk, and it was the best decision of my life. If you find you cannot stop this after your results come back and you are clear, and that you may find yourself in the same predicament, there is help out there. I can't keep living my life playing Russian roulette, but just wanted you to know, I feel lots of solidarity. Thanks God for people like Teak that are out here to help I say.