Desperate for Help! Virgin to Life Perfect to HIV?

[vitaminsgalore]

Hi, I am a young male.  I was a virgin, about 3 months ago, I decided to have sex with a sex worker to lose my V status because I was ashamed and because I wanted to finally feel like what it was like - I know, stupid and dumb - I had never even kissed a girl before.  Not just because of STD risks but because I sold myself out and didn't wait.  It was protected oral sex and protected vaginal sex - so I planned.  At some point the condom broke because we heard a pop, I quickly pulled out and was so pathetic I broke down crying right then and there.  She assured me she was HIV negative and had been tested two weeks prior.  But what if she lied or what if she got it in the last few months before her HIV negative test.  

Anyway, after a month, I got sick, fever, stomach pains, etc.  Fever went away after a week, felt fully better after another week. But also developed a white furry tongue at this time. I went to doctor, they did CBC, etc., nothing found in terms of illness.  I even asked doctor about ARS and my symptoms, he said these symptoms didn't look like ARS and a month is pretty late for ARS but I could get tested - I refused. He also said I didn't have oral thrush.  

I still continue to have this white furry tongue and have also felt tired.  Also I feel like I have problems with swollen lymph nodes. I randomly get itchy under my armpit, under my knee, under my elbow, behind neck, etc. - sometimes the feeling is even a bit painful.  CBC came back fine, so what else could it be other than HIV.

QUESTION - how fast can HIV attack the body - like everywhere I read it says you have ARS then years of nothing and then symptoms? It has been 3 months since the incident, is it possible for HIV to attack the lymph nodes develop oral thrush, etc. after a month and that quickly, has anyone heard of that?

This sucks so bad, its all I think about.  To make things even worse and why I think God is so cruel, about one month after this incident I met this girl at a bookstore and we have been dating since - its my first GF.  Things are great and we have not had sex yet, nor will I have sex with her because I don't want to give her HIV.  I am thinking about breaking up with her and living a life in solitude, I cannot go get tested, find its positive, I wouldn't be able to live - my parents are ethnic and would not accept me, I know myself and how I would handle news like that.

[vitaminsgalore]

Thank you for your comments, may be I will get tested then not ruin this thing with this girl over this, really the reassurance I am looking for is it is possible to have this kind of stuff happen to you and it not be HIV, it just seems like when you search the net and you say anything about lymph nodes, the conclusion is that it is likely HIV.  and I guess part of this is that when you suddenly have issues with lymph nodes when you never did before and the only thing different in your life is that you had sex, its hard not to jump to that conclusion.

But at the same time, this forum has helped in that searching, it looks like lots of people had symptoms even more extreme than mine and they got a test and it was negative, just strange though that these type of symptoms happen and its not HIV when its immediately after some exposure risk - is there any studies about this and how if you think you have something, you start feeling like you have all the symptoms (even though you technically do or do not)?

I was about to pass out with the original post about go get tested but now I see that was likely a standard response and not necessarily because of my symptoms.

[Patricius]

..and the likelihood is overwhelmingly in your favour that you will test negative

[ricky_id]

Well to be honest they're not typical because ARS symptoms won't come out first beyond a month, but assessing by symptoms can be very vague because they could be out of many other diseases and/or your fear of HIV.

Only an appropriate HIV test will find out and you've been at the right period. If it comes out negative, you're conclusively negative because there won't be false negative beyond 3 months post-exposure. If it instead comes out positive, you'll be referred to a different, confirmative test, which result has the final say.

[vitaminsgalore]

I know I could tested but I cannot do it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, I know it.  

So you are saying that these type of symptoms (consistent itchy or painful lymph nodes and oral thrush) are possible with HIV infection within a month or two or infection???

Why did I do it, why was I so stupid and why me.

[ricky_id]

If it has been exactly 3 months post-exposure, you can get yourself tested now to get a conclusive result on your HIV status. Stick to an HIV antibody test though. If you're in doubt whether an HIV test at a health centre is appropriate, you can ask us here in the thread.