Even I can see it happening (my anxiety). I am going to the doctors to talk about my anxiety with him/her. The cream obviously does not affect the tests though? (Just to get me by until I see the doctor)
are irrational and it's clearly seen from your post that you are suffering from OCD. From a very neutral perspective, HIV is not your problem any more since you have tested at the right time frame and fared a definitive result. However, OCD is your problem now. Keep working with your doctor, you should be fine.