Ex-bf HIV positive; mutual masturbation

Hi -

Thank you for taking the time to answer questions. I think I know the answer to this question, but I do not want to take any risks, and so I figured I would pay the money to get a confirmation.

Here is my situation:

I am a bi-sexual male. I test regularly to all STDs (every 6 months or so). I always use protection. I currently have a girlfriend. We engage in unprotected sex. She tested negative for all STDs before we started having sex, and hadn't had new partners for over 6 months. I tested 6 months ago directly before meeting my ex-bf.

Here is the challenge. I received a call from my ex-bf saying he was diagnosed with HIV. I never had sex with my ex-bf, we only engaged in mutual masturbation and some kissing (I've never had sex with another male). I never used his ejaculate as lubrication or vice-versa.

I had not tested since starting to have sex with my current gf as I did not perceive any risk from my previous relationship given the nature of the exposure; however, now, I am concerned for her health. I would tell her of the situation, save that she is a certified hypochondriac, and will react with a less-than-measured response.

What would you advise I do in this situation? What would be prudent? I do not recall if I had any symptoms of ARS or anything of the sort at any point when I was with him. I recall a bad sore throat which lasted a week, but nothing like a harsh flu.

Thank you.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the forum.

I'm sure you do in fact know the answer to your question.  You are at no risk of HIV from the exposures to your former partner, despite his HIV infection.  Kissing is not a significant transmission risk, and HIV has never been known to be transmitted by hand-genital contact.  I agree there is no need to inform your current partner of this event -- you do not need to mention interpersonal exposures that carried no risk of HIV or other STDs.

Personally, I wouldn't even be HIV tested on account of this event.  However, I can understand that many persons would feel the need for the additional reassurance, beyond and expert's opinion, that would come from a negative test result.  If that applies to you, then have another HIV test in a few weeks.  (You could have a 100% reliable duo/combo test 4 weeks after the last contact with your former partner, or 6-8 weeks for a stand alone antibody test.)  But in the meantime, if I were in your situation I would continue unprotected sex with my wife and would say nothing to her about any of this.

I hope this helps.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[cBoston]

Doctor -

Thank you for your quick response. Understood, and very much appreciated. It helps, and confirms what I thought. I think I'll rest fine - and I'll just get tested when I go in for my semi-annual physical in a few months.

Thanks.