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Exposure risk assessment - dipping
Hi all, this forum has been an amazing resource for information and seeking support - thanks to all who are active members!
I'm just looking for an honest risk assessment:
Last night, I hooked up with a couple of guys I met at a bar - they were friends but were not a couple (not like that matters). When we got to my hotel I asked if they were both clean and one said rather dubiously, "yes, of course". I had no reason to disbelieve him/them but don't know them either.
The exposure was as follows:
- Mutual oral
- Frottage - my anus and another guy's penis, but no penetration
- Rimming & fingering
- Dipping - I was rubbing (frottage) when we were making out and ended up briefly inserting into one of the guys. It was accidental and (while it may sound like BS) I honestly didn't even realize I was "in" him until maybe 20 seconds later. I am not very big and he was somewhat loose. There was no lube so full-on sex certainly didn't occur. I don't know if I fully entered his rectum but was at least close for 15-20 seconds. From what I could tell, it didn't seem like there was much fluid exchange going on.
- Protected insertive anal with the other guy
I see the risky exposure here being the dipping. They guys seemed totally chill and honest, both working in cancer research and talking about their 9 am meeting (it was late on a Tuesday night) - this certainly doesn't mean they were 100% clean or truthful, but in this situation I seemed like the more "wild" one, having initiated everything.
The irony is that I rarely do this kind of stuff, homosexuality has always been more of a curiosity and I'm obsessively careful on the rare occasion I do engage in sexual contact with men. This accidental slip-up on my part is by far the riskiest thing I've ever done and it has me thoroughly anxious. The guy I "dipped" had a small white spot on his testicles that is contributing to my worry (I know it could have been just a pimple or folliculitis).
All I'm trying to do is assess my risk and am looking for opinions from those of you that work in the health field, or that are more knowledgeable that I am on the subject. I feel guilty as I almost never do this and to make it worse am in a LTR with a female. I maybe hook up with guys once a year to "tickle the itch" - any help/advice is appreciated.
I'm just looking for an honest risk assessment:
Last night, I hooked up with a couple of guys I met at a bar - they were friends but were not a couple (not like that matters). When we got to my hotel I asked if they were both clean and one said rather dubiously, "yes, of course". I had no reason to disbelieve him/them but don't know them either.
The exposure was as follows:
- Mutual oral
- Frottage - my anus and another guy's penis, but no penetration
- Rimming & fingering
- Dipping - I was rubbing (frottage) when we were making out and ended up briefly inserting into one of the guys. It was accidental and (while it may sound like BS) I honestly didn't even realize I was "in" him until maybe 20 seconds later. I am not very big and he was somewhat loose. There was no lube so full-on sex certainly didn't occur. I don't know if I fully entered his rectum but was at least close for 15-20 seconds. From what I could tell, it didn't seem like there was much fluid exchange going on.
- Protected insertive anal with the other guy
I see the risky exposure here being the dipping. They guys seemed totally chill and honest, both working in cancer research and talking about their 9 am meeting (it was late on a Tuesday night) - this certainly doesn't mean they were 100% clean or truthful, but in this situation I seemed like the more "wild" one, having initiated everything.
The irony is that I rarely do this kind of stuff, homosexuality has always been more of a curiosity and I'm obsessively careful on the rare occasion I do engage in sexual contact with men. This accidental slip-up on my part is by far the riskiest thing I've ever done and it has me thoroughly anxious. The guy I "dipped" had a small white spot on his testicles that is contributing to my worry (I know it could have been just a pimple or folliculitis).
All I'm trying to do is assess my risk and am looking for opinions from those of you that work in the health field, or that are more knowledgeable that I am on the subject. I feel guilty as I almost never do this and to make it worse am in a LTR with a female. I maybe hook up with guys once a year to "tickle the itch" - any help/advice is appreciated.
As an update, I spoke with a doctor who advised that I go to the local ER to discuss PEP treatment for this potential risk exposure. I did just that - I was told that my risk was very, very, low but nonetheless was prescribed a cocktail of Truvada + Isentress for 28 days.
I am surprised that they told me that my risk was almost negligible but still provided PEP. I am scared that maybe the doctors think my risk is greater than they're letting on, but I guess I am glad to have the treatment just in case.
To make matters worse, I am in a LTR with an amazing woman and am overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety. I have not actually done anything like this in close to two years and fear that my carelessness will cost me my relationship, or worse, health.
My understanding is now that I've started PEP that I need to wait 6 months until after treatment is completed to test, as it extends the window period. Is that right, or is 3 months still considered conclusive? Either way, the wait is just torture...
Also, I have not yet experienced any side effects but I hear they can be severe. Any advice in dealing with that if it comes?
I am surprised that they told me that my risk was almost negligible but still provided PEP. I am scared that maybe the doctors think my risk is greater than they're letting on, but I guess I am glad to have the treatment just in case.
To make matters worse, I am in a LTR with an amazing woman and am overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety. I have not actually done anything like this in close to two years and fear that my carelessness will cost me my relationship, or worse, health.
My understanding is now that I've started PEP that I need to wait 6 months until after treatment is completed to test, as it extends the window period. Is that right, or is 3 months still considered conclusive? Either way, the wait is just torture...
Also, I have not yet experienced any side effects but I hear they can be severe. Any advice in dealing with that if it comes?
1 Comments
Also - I am trying to obtain a realistic assessment of my risk.. I've read that unprotected insertive anal with a presumed + partner carries an approximate risk of transmission at about 1/900, and that an estimated 1/5 gay men in the US have HIV. Since his status is unknown, I calculate my risk as being about 1/4500. Also this is for sex, not necessarily just dipping. So would it be fair to say my estimated risk is very conservatively about 1/4500?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, it seems like you're being rational about this incident, which is good. Most people don't have HIV, so please do keep that in mind.
Having said that, you're right - dipping was a risk. Nothing else you did was a risk, but if you entered him, it's a legit risk. Just go for a DUO test 28 days after this incident to know your status. In the mean time, try to remain calm.
Having said that, you're right - dipping was a risk. Nothing else you did was a risk, but if you entered him, it's a legit risk. Just go for a DUO test 28 days after this incident to know your status. In the mean time, try to remain calm.
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