Fearful of exposure from Oral sex

[NeedHelp2112]

Dr. I am very concerned about troubling symptoms I am experiencing. I am a straight guy and was with 2 other guys who are Bi. The one guy was performing oral on the other guy and then switched to perform oral on me. After about 5 seconds of this I stopped him. I don't know the HIV status of these 2 guys. I am concerned that the guy who tried to perform oral on me may have had pre-cum in his mouth from the other guy or blood and it could have come into contact with me. I  know that I had some abbrasions on my penis from having sex with my girlfriend the day before.  This occurred on Aug 17.  About 5 days after the exposure I started developing strange digestive symptoms...queesey stomach, gas, bloating and very loose movements but no fever. This continued for a couple of weeks. Now, in the past 3-4 weeks I have developed definate swollen glands in my neck/throat. And in the past week I have developed painful swollen glands in my armpits, so it seems to be spreading.  Also, before the possible exposure I had perfect dental hygene. Now in the past couple of weeks I have been getting gum inflammation and swelling. It's not like regular periodontal swelling with bleeding gums. It's more like the linear gingival erythmia with no bleeding. Also in the past few days I developed a rash on my lower abdomen. But, at no time have I had a fever higher than 99.5.     Dr. I know you say that oral sex carries a very low risk, on the magnitude of 1 in 10,000. But there is a risk, it's not zero.  To use an analogy, someone allways wins the lottery. Maybe it's just my time. What really scares me is the constellation of symptoms I have had since the exposure. I was perfectly healthy before. And the symptoms are all related to ARS and are getting worse. Especially the lymph node pain and swelling.  Dr. Could you please give me some advice. I am terrified and affraid to get tested for fear of having a confirmation of what I suspect I contracted.   Thank you.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You have asked variations on the same questions on the HIV community forum and have had difficulty accepting the accurate advice you were given, to the point you had to be warned about excessive compulsive posting.

Is the risk from oral sex zero?  Maybe not.  But you are reacting emotionally and not rationally.  The risk of getting hit by a meteorite also isn't zero, but nobody goes around worrying about it.

I will not discuss the details of the exposure or the vague symptoms you describe -- which do NOT suggest ARS, regardless of what you think you have learned by your anxiety driven online research (and most of which are typical for the physical manifestations of anxiety), etc.  The epidemiologic data are clear:  you were at virtually no risk of HIV.

I have absolutely no patience with "I am terrified and affraid to get tested for fear of having a confirmation [of having HIV]".  Use your brain:  getting tested doesn't change whether or not you have HIV.  Get tested.  Your fear and anxiety now is much worse than it would be even if you have a positive result.  Which you won't; based on everything you say, the result will be negative.  Act like a grown-up and just do it.

Feel free to post the result after you are tested.  Until then, I will delete any and all additonal comments or questions you may have, without reply.

HHH, MD

[NeedHelp2112]

Dr. Handsfield. I read your response again and it got me thinking. You say that you will not discuss the details of my exposure or my "vague" symptoms. However, I paid to ask a question! It wasnt free. I had expected to have a reasonable and thoughtful answer from an expert such as yourself. My symptoms are not "vague. They are very real. I feel the swollen and painfull lymphglands! I see and feel the inflammed gums. I see the rash on my abdomen. These are not conjured up in my mind. They are REAL!  And they appear to be consistent with HIV infection. I posted on this site to have an expert opinion since I am very concerned, not to be dismissed in a condescending manner. There is something going on with my health that is not normal and it coincides directly with the possible exposure I had. All I had expected was some advice from an expert. Are these real and specific symptoms of concern with regards to HIV?  

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

First, where do you come off to suggest my reply was not "thoughtful"?  A relatively quick response with an obvious answer is not necessarily thoughtless, especially when the identical questions have been asked and answered hundreds of times.

I did not say or imply your symptoms are not "real", only that they don't suggest ARS from the exposure you are concerned about.

You came here for reassurance.  I gave it.  Accept or not, I don't care, but I will not argue about it.  My offer still goes: post the results of an HIV test and I will comment further.  If you post anything other than that, the entire thread will be deleted.