Female Worried About Possible Exposures

During the period of mid to late June I became intimate with a man 9 years older than me (he is 34)that I met at work and had been dating since February. I explained to him the importance of condoms but I discovered on at least 3 occassions he had taken the condom off a few minutes before ejaculation, but he claims he did not ejaculate inside of me and I saw a wet area on the sheets which I assume to have been his semen. I broke up with him after he lost my trust by taking off the condoms. I asked him if he might have HIV and he said no, but then said he had never been tested. All I know about his history is that he has not had sex in 3 years since he ended his 4-year relationship with his former girlfriend. He also told me he has never injected drugs. But sometimes people lie, which is why I am scared. 9 days after the last exposure I went to the Public Health and STD/HIV test and all negative.
My ex-boyfriend of 7 years and I have gotten back together. We went on vacation last weekend, drank then unprotected oral sex  for about 15 min. I realize if I have HIV I am still in the window period and I am worried I may have given him HIV as window period more infectious! I know oral sex is low risk but I dont understand how a man can get HIV from vaginal sex due to HIV being in the vaginal fluids, so how come its lower risk to have vaginal fluids in the mouth? Also, please note his dental health is not good right now and he has neglected 3 root canals.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Certainly I agree that a man who would lie to a woman about using condoms also might be untruthful about other aspects of the sexual relationship or past sexual history.  Still, the odds your partner had HIV were very low.  While I never guarantee someone isn't infected, from your story I see no reason for you to not have sex, either oral or vaginal, in your resumed relationship with your old partner.  That's especially true if your 10-day tests included negative results for gonorrhea and chlamydia; of all STDs in this situation, chlamydia is the highest risk.  To maximize safety, you might use a condom if you decide to have vaginal sex with him, until you have follow-up another HIV blood test ~6 weeks after last sex with the other guy.

Oral sex is low risk because the mouth and throat aren't as susceptible to HIV as the genital tract; and probably is also low for cunnilingus because the amount actual secretion exchange is low.  People tend to assume that 'just one virus' is all it takes to transmit HIV.  Not true.  You have to have large amounts of virus directly exposed to susceptible tissues.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[bluebell81]

I forgot to add something to my post. Yesterday was day 17 past the most recent exposure to possible HIV. I have noticed I am very fatigued, sore muscles like I am getting sick, and when I was in the shower I noticed a lump on my left groin which was very painful and sore to the touch, I am assumming a lymph node. Is this ARS? I also have no appetite and have lost weight.

[bluebell81]

Did you see my comment where I forgot to add my symptoms?

Please respond I am needing information about possible ARS,

A few days after the oral sex with my old partner symptoms started which is why I am terrified that I may have given him HIV.

My groin is sore and there is a lump. I just checked my temp and it is 99.6 and it is normally 98.6. I have no appetite and cannot eat.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Please use the search link to look for "ARS symptoms"; you will find innumerable discussions that, among other things, point out that symptoms never are a reliable indicator of new HIV infection, especially in low risk situations like yours; and that your symptoms don't sound much like HIV anyway.  Everybody's temperature fluctuates normally up to about 99.6; 98.6 is the human average, not the maximum normal temperature.  Anxiety is a much more likely explanation for your lack of appetite than HIV or any other infection.  But of course visit your health care provider for advice if your symptoms persist or you remain concerned.

[bluebell81]

Hello Dr HHH

Thank you so much for your opinion on my exposures.

One final question.

Today I went and had a 3 1/2 week HIV oraquick test. I know its a bit early but I needed peace of mind due to the physical symptoms I am having. The test was negative.

The HIV counselor who gave me my test told me I am a hypochondriac which might explain my symptoms. She told me to come back in 3 months for a conclusive test.

Can you just give me the percentage of accuracy for a test done at 3 1/2 weeks?

Thank you so much for you time!!!! :)

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I'm not sure you're a hypochondriac, and as I said, it is not unreasonable to doubt the truthfulness of your partner.  But your counselor still seems to be on the right track.  Use the search link to look for "time to positive HIV test" to find innumerable discussions on test reliability at various intervals after exposure.  (Or select just about any 10-20 forum threads at random.)

[blk women]

Indeed-i just read your story and we have a lot in common.  try to rest easy and keep us informed

[tomtee98]

From some reason, I am worried about your health. Although the doc's reply put me at ease a bit as I trust this doc the most but could you  be kind enough to let us know your results. 6 weeks is all it takes to show up in all the latest HIV rapid testing methods.

Good luck and stay healthy.

[bluebell81]

Why are you worried about my health?

I am scared out of my mind and now somebody is saying they are worried, no my stress has gone out of the windows.

My symptoms right now are:

Sore throat with white patches on both tonsils
Medically proven swollen lymph nodes
Severe fatigue

I tested positive for heterohphile antibodies which are indicative of monoculesis. Turns out mono is identical to ARS symtoms (symptoms). I dont have a fever nor do I have a rash. Its uncommon for adults to get mono and I am 25 years old. I got "mono" 3-4 weeks after my exposure. I am almost certain its ARS

I am so scared I have HIV and have given it to the love of my life, my boyfriend by drinking and letting my guard down and he gave me oral sex. I am so upset I cant stop crying.

[bluebell81]

I am praying you will read this and answer.

Three days ago I tested positive for heretophile antibodies (spelling) which is indicative of Mono.

I have white patches on both tonsils and severe sore throat.
No fever
Medically proven swollen lymph nodes
Severe fatigue
muscle aches
night sweats

I have been reading that there are false positive mono tests where the individual is actually suffering from ARS/Acute HIV. I am afraid this is my case.

Last Friday when I had my 3.5 week oraquick (negative) I told the healthcare worker I wasnt feeling well and about my sore lymph nodes. She ordered an RNA blood test and I will find out this Friday. Why would she order an RNA test if she wasnt suspicious I have HIV?

Dr, please can you answer me and tell me if you think I have a false positive mono test. I hear that its uncommon for adults to have mono and the man who may have exposed me swears up and down he has never had mono which only makes me more worried its HIV.

Thank you so much

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

No, you have a true positive mono test.  Your symptoms are absolutely typical for infectious mono.  You definitely have mono, not HIV.  Mono in young people usually is an STD, but many infected people have no symptoms.  If you have had unprotected sex recently with your bf, the odds are he is infected.  But he might not develop any illness at all.

Please drop the questions and concerns about HIV.  It simply is not an issue for you.

This is my last reply on this thread.

[bluebell81]

Thank you!