First time, very worried and need testing info

I am a homosexual male, 21, from the UK, in good health.

Prior to this, I had 1 sexual partner.

There was a gentleman I began seeing April/May of this year. One night, we engaged in an unsafe 'act'.

I wouldn't call it unprotected 'sex' as there was no ejaculation, however he did put his penis inside me for 2-3 minutes. This wasn't planned - I made him stop, and he realised just what he was doing and how risky it was.

The next day I completely freaked out and left. I went back to speak to him, and he informed me of the following:

- He has had 8 sexual partners in his life (he's 32)
- He's in fantastic physical shape, professional sportsman
- He was with his first partner for 10 years, and they have a 6 year old daughter together (he's monogamous)
- When his last partner broke up with him, he told him that he had cheated on him with multiple partners. This scared my 'partner' to no end. He went a month later for a full battery of tests, with 2 follow ups, 3 weeks apart. He told me he was clean on ALL accounts.

I am scared to my witts end. I don't sleep, I think about it constantly, every time I see anything associated with sex and blood I just freeze up and think 'Oh G-d.. what if'.

For the past few weeks all I have done is read articles online. I have gathered that:

- Being a 'top' is safer than being a 'bottom'
- Being circumcised is better than being uncircumcised (as a top)

I was the recipient, he was the top. So, from my point of view, him having 8 sexual partners in his entire life, some of which are male, some are female, always being the 'top', and being circumcised - he's had a fairly low exposure 'chance'.

For some reason, I am thinking from the point of view that this person IS infected with HIV - even though he has sworn to me time and time again he's not, encouraged me to take tests whenever possible over the coming weeks to re-assure myself, and even rang  me when I was in the Doctors surgery asking if giving his name, address, and clinic used would help. He has been very co-operative, and I see no reason for him lie. He has repeatef himself a hundred time to me, and to be honest, its got to the stage now where its silly - I'm treating him like he is infected.

Logically, he does not have it, and I am not infected, chances are against him having it. But its scared me so much that until a Doctor tells me 'negative' - my mind is in overdrive.

The whole thing lasted 2-3 minutes, his penis was covered in thick Vaseline, not a normal lubricant, and he has very little pre-come anyway, with a huge barrier like Vaseline, that might also lessen the risk of anything 'transferring'. But again, he's told me he's negative - he has a daughter to think about, he doesn't engage is risky sexual behaviour, and we are still in 'friendly' contact now, even though things didn't work out romantically.

What worried me was that he'd had a test a month after him and his ex split up, then 2 follow ups. He didn't know whether the 2 follow ups were for HIV or general check ups. He said he was tested for everything: blood samples, anal and mouth swabs - the works. This was a month after exposure, with 2 follow ups at 3 weeks intervals, as stated.

Since having the test (if he is to be believed?) I am his only sexual partner.

Now my question is this:

2.5 weeks after this incident, I tested negative for syph, hep B, HIV (for what its worth) and I still waiting on the chlamydia test.

June the 8th will be just over 1 month since the incident. If I am tested for HIV then, using a standard NHS antibody test, how reliable will that be?

Waiting 12 weeks is impossible - I won't last. Everyday I am feeling my glands under my arm pits, my testicales and throat looking for swelling (as I have been told these are symptoms of a HIV infection), every time I get a slight headache, my mind is spiralling 'you have it, you have it'.

Again, I'm acting like he's some evil fiend who has made up some story to make me feel better. He's told me he's tested, he's told me he's clean - but its not enough for me.

I'm really sorry to rant but I hope I can have some opinions and hopefully re-assurance, and that a test a month after exposure is reliable (and negative!)

[LIZZIE LOU]

you can test 6-8 weeks post exposure for a very good indication of our status.  a negative result at that point is very unlikely to change.  with that being said...follow up at 3 months for a conclusive result.

[jthejew]

One more thing thats worried me: Last week I had a smelly substance, no colour to it, under the foreskin of my penis. That disappeared within a few days, and my penis is fine. But this week, I have noticed a tiny bit of mucus-like discharge in my stools. My GUM clinic couldn't test for anything but syph, Hep B, HIV and chlamydia on the day as they didn't have full staff (great) so I am missing gonorrhoea as well as others? Could this be something like a yeast infection? Mix with in with the issue's above and I am almost at breaking point!

[jthejew]

Thank you Lizzie Lou.

I'll have one done on June the 8th, around 5 weeks after exposure, and hope for the best.

Do you think I need to be as worried as I am?

[jthejew]

Anyone?

[Teak]

Had you used a condom you wouldn't be here.

[disturbed777]

Most of us here used condoms and we are here :) ...

[bluebell5]

are you saying most people here with HIV got it through protected sex? Trying to figure out what your comment means...

[Teak]

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[joggen]

It means that most people who post here are worrying over nothing.

[jthejew]

Thanks for the advice?

Its great now thats its after the event and wasn't MY fault. I instigated him STOPPING.

[disturbed777]

Touché