HIV, Anxiety and transmission.

Firstly, thanks for the great work on this forum - it provides a steady hand in times when anxiety is acting up.

My exposure I guess was what you would call low risk - brief (max 3-4 mins) unprotected receptive vaginal sex, with a presumably heterosexual guy of unknown HIV status.  At the time I never thought about HIV transmission, rather more a possible concern about pregnancy or other STDS - although I must stress there was no ejaculation.  This was while on holiday in a hot country.  Two weeks later precisely to the day I developed an instant fever and sweating, slight nausea, disorientation, lack of appetite.  No aches really.  I presumed it was either a touch of heatstroke (travelled back by plane the day before after a day of quite extensive sun exposure).  

However, a friend immediately (I have reason to believe this friend has a severe anxiety about HIV however) pointed out that the symptoms were exactly that of HIV.  The fever went after a couple of days, except by then the anxiety had kinda set in and a bout of googling ARS symptoms probably didn't help.  

I will be taking a full STD check and HIV test in two months, but in the meantime just cannot settle my anxiety that I have contracted HIV.  It really is living with me 24/7 and making life such a dark time.  My friends are confused as to why I am even taking the test, as they have had far riskier exposure and have not even ever thought about being tested.  To me that is insane.  I know I have anxiety issues and am seeking a therapist to deal with this cognitive behavioural issue.

Thoughts?

[very_worried85]

well, just to quote Dr H on the moderated forum, he typically says chances are about 1 in a 1000 for any single unprotected vaginal encounter.

He also usually recommends HIV testing 4-6 weeks after possible exposure, so I don't think you need to wait 2 more months.  He has never seen someone test negative 4-6 weeks out and go on to test positive at 3 months.

Hope this helped a little.  I'm sure some of the other very knowledgable folks here can give some guidance too.

[very_worried85]

oh, and the Doctor also says symptoms are NEVER a reliable sign of HIV infection.

[UKAnxious]

It's standard here in the UK that you must wait three months!  I could lie obviously and take it at 4-6 weeks, but I think I would then further worry just because of UK guidelines....?  In the Uk they make a hell of a lot of more scare over transmission probability it seems.  

[Texas08]

I am in a similar situation as you, symptom wise and all. But as far as I know your symptoms dont sound a lot like HIV. I had similar symptoms. Except I had slight aches and on and off feelings of being hot. What I do know is that when I contracted HSV-2 the flu like symptoms I had WERE AWFUL!!! No doubt about it. And it was nothing mild, so assuming that my experience with that would probably hold true for HIV. I think we are both fine and are letting anxiety get the best of us. PLUS, I mean no ejaculation must bring down the likelihood of transmission being that it is less bodily fluid.

[Texas08]

yeah I know.  If you wanna talk about it sometimes you can e-mail me.

[Texas08]

Well, my exposure is with a man who we usually use condoms but sometimes we dont and he pulls out. We have had sex many, many times. So about 10 days after the little incident I get sick. Headache, feeling very sinusey...lol. Next day I get very dizzy and weak and feel hot. My back is a little achey (achy) and my armpits hurt, sharp pains in the groin. It continued for maybe 3 or four days. I asked him to get tested at 24 or 25 days after we had sex and it was negative. He is the only person I have been with since I tested negative in August so if he is negative I am. WELL, turns out a few days before he admitted to having one time unprotected sex with another woman. SO, I got really scared. But my paranoia has since subsided and I am going to test on Wednesday. I am scared but I feel like everything will be fine. LESSON learned!! I dont know my risk, and I am not sure about pre-*** but I am sure it is less since there is no ejaculation.

[UKAnxious]

Fingers crossed to you.....

I think I will wait the 2 months out and get same day 10 minute results.  Otherwise I will just worry further.

In the Uk, they even promote ORAL sex as a possible transmission point, although I've seen it on here as a negligible factor and very low risk.  I think we are far more conservative.  That's what causes anxiety in the first place!

[UKAnxious]

It's a complete quagmire isn't it?

I mean...someone has to be that unlucky one person in 1000.  My symptoms were only bad for one day to be fair, but re-occured sporadically for a couple weeks.  

People have differing opinions on pre-*** and the viral load in it.  One of my friends had a similar predicament, albeit FAR more prolonged (maybe an hour exposure without ejaculation) and tested negative.  She was worried, but waited the recommended 3 months here before a trip to the GUM clinic.  She didn't have all the anxieties about it though which is obviously an ideal state to be in as the worry can bring on stress related symptoms.  Also, my Gay male friend had a similar receptive anal experience whcih also tested negative.  I just can't help think I will be the one - the low risk exposure.

But I do know that is irrational and that symptoms are not indicative and be from garden type variety viruses etc.

What was your exposure Texas if you don't mind me asking?

[sun2moon4starr]

I feel the EXACT SAME WAY!!! I CANNOT shake the feeling either. I perfomed fellatio on a guy, i know....but barely. He stateds he is beg of all std's including hiv...but something un my mind tells me differently. He did not ejaculate...I think he pre-came but that was spit out...and I did not go deep....I most of the time was spent "jerking" him off. No real signs other than blisters on my tounge and one on my lip. I am however so upset I have thought about killing myself. I only did this 2 weeks ago...and I am already being tested. My results are pending. I am depressed and afraid to kiss my niece. I did have a small ulcer on my lip....help me!!! Before I do something rash!!