HIV POSITIVE

I got my results today - im HIV positive.
I dont even know how to react infact i'm quiet numb.
Havent told anyone.

I was negative after 6weeks so i'm not really sure what happened.

I hope noone has to have my horrible fate.
Please go and check yourselves out.
Though at this moment i wish i never knew.

If anyone else is HIV positive please help me. How do i tell my boyfriend? He doesnt know i was raped............but he needs to get checked out.

my life is over at 19

[Teak]

What kind of confirmative test did they run?

[sad82]

after hw long your exposure did u get it tested? ( i mean your latest test)

[HELPME21]

i did every test imaginable to check for all sorts of STDs to try figure out where my pelvic pain was coming from.

I have PID as well. They said they wanted to do some more blood test to confirm it but it seemed quiet definite. they also took a swab of this little spot i had inside my vagina which was not herpes.
they made me take all this councelling and the woman keeps calling me.
im not sure i want thier help.
i am really close to giving up. ive never felt so alone in my life.
i just dont understand it. one minute they say i have ovary problems and the next minute its this.
should i go to another doctor? or am i just kidding myself into thinking that theyve got it all wrong?
i live in australia and i dont really like the facilities here. most clinics are in the scary part of town im too scared to go.
how did u ever get through this?
im so scared

[mike_no]

I'm sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you.

Did they get a confirmatory test ?

[amiscrewed]

sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I have read many treads on here where people and doc HHH have advise to test after 6 weeks and it should be close to 100% accurate. So you tested after 6 weeks since the accident and was negative so when did you find out that you were positve (how many weeks from exposure?) Did you expreince any ARS, fever, etc....

[Joan123]

Dear Helpme21,

I'm so sorry for all that happened to you. You are in my prayers. First thing, I think you should contact the  clinic you took the HIV test to know which test was performed and if a confirmatory test was done. It would be a good idea to talk to a counselor, he or she could help you with this and what to do now. There is another girl here called Sunnygirl that was recently diagnosed positive.
I'll be praying for you...

[peekawho]

How old are you?  Just curious.  In some posts, you are 19.  In others, 21.

I did a search.  Inquiring minds and all that, you know.  

[txtony]

listen, i know you are really going through a tough ordeal right now, but i really think you need some mental health guidance. this is a large pill to swallow.
you really do need help, i sense that you dont and havent spoken to anyone about the assault, not even authorities. you know it wasnt your fault.  you need to talk to someone.  you need to muster up the courage to tell your boyfriend.  
im really heart broken to hear about your recent diagnosis. i know everyone here has asked, has it been confirmed yet?
imsadden by your news.  you need to be strong.

[peekawho]

She says:

"They said they wanted to do some more blood test to confirm it."

So...a clinic told her she was definately HIV positive and offered counseling without bothering to get confirmation FIRST???  And as I pointed out, I did a search for her, she has about an equal amount of posts where she says she's 19, others she says 21.

And she was negative on a 6 week test, but positive (well, we don't know that for sure as the "confirmation" hasn't been done!) 7 months later?  Hmm.

I'm sure I'll be soundly bashed, but my eyebrows are raised.  Sorry.

[amiscrewed]

You are right, i did a search and on trread shes 19 and the other 21. Please Help21, this is not a joking matter, if you are serious then I am truly sorry to hear your recent hiv diagnosis.

[RULER]

yes something doesn't sound good
i agree with peakawho.

[txtony]

how did the gas tank thing go????lol.
i see what you are saying. we should still give her the benefit of a doubt.
if it was a joke, she would not have lingered here this long. i know 6 wks neg and now pos. well the fact of the matter was that she didnt have a 13 wks confirmatory test. if she was negative then, then i would doubt her.
i agree with you that a confirmatory wb test should be done.
the only discrepancies i have noticed in her posts are her age.  
she needs us. now more than ever.  even if she comes out negative.
anxiety,stress, depression all rolled into one. its too much for someone alone to handle. especially 19/21 yr old girl.

[amiscrewed]

sorry, but I still dont understand this period of testing. Dr,H and most people on here say 6 weeks, the CDC says 3 month, really confused here. and Help21 said she tested negative after 6 weeks and now positive. I was gonna get tested next week(6week) but now im confused??? txttony you said that she need a confimatory test at 13 weeks, so the 6 weeks is basically useless!!

[humbleoneinca]

Come on people show some compassion....

I can't believe someone could be this egocentric and overanalyze/doubt this girl tragic posts just to make sure it conflicts with the words of Dr H.

Do you think everything posted is true ? Do you think Dr H is ALWAYS right? I don't. The 6 weeks things is nothing to be discussed here.

Shame on you

[monkeyflower]

You do realize this is the internet. For all you know, she's a 54 year old guy.

I'm with peek. I mean, even on my worst days I can remember how old I am. Sheesh. Besides, this whole story doesn't feel right.

[travisthescared]

I tested at 14 weeks and was negative, but now im scared to test again. Does anyone know if this is for real? I have the same pains in my pelvic area, so idk what to believe

[Scared As Hell]

I agree with you guys.......... Somethings not right with this story. I would hate to think someone was trying to debunk the "6 week safety blanket" that so many of us sleep with at night. Just my opinion...........

[peekawho]

Listen, it's happened before.  That's why I did a short search.  That wasn't the only discrepancy, but it's the one I felt like pointing out.  The other discrepancy...trust me, it wouldn't be right to bring that to light.  

And I don't think it's a prank or a joke at all.  I think it's someone who is seriously frightened about HIV, assumes that she has it, and perhaps has jumped the gun and announced it prior to actually getting the result.  She's been on the ovarian cancer forum and the STD forum worried about different things, too.  Obviously quite a frightened young woman.  
Some people are so sure they have HIV, that they essentially "try on" announcing they have it, in order to guage peoples reactions.  Others are seeking sympathy that they are not getting in their "real" lives, perhaps after a traumatic event.  

Why she feels she has had to say she is two different ages, I have no idea. It just gives some weight on the side of maintaining some healthy internet skepticism.  

People can say anything on the internet, for any reason.  You all don't know that I'm a nurse, and it makes little difference to me if you don't believe me.  I won't be hurt if you dont--I don't know any of you.  You can take anything I say with a grain of salt.  Just giving you a warning to have a sense of objectivity when you are dealing with an anonymous web site.  

A wise person once said "if it doesn't make sense, it probably isn't true".  We know that she said she had a negative 6 week test (with an EXTREMELY high likelihood of being accurate), and has mis-stated her age several times in various posts in many forums.  She also claims she was told she was positive and offered counseling prior to a WB confirmation, which would be highly, highly unusual.

To me, all those things make me hang back a bit.   That's all.  

[humbleoneinca]

Point taken.

Several comments:

- Dr HHH says 6 weeks conclusive for low risk. Being raped is not like getting a blow job on the risk scale. Maybe he would have recommend 3 months in this case.

- As you say you can't be sure on what it's been said on here. That works both way. You can't be sure it's not true. So put yourself in her shoes for one second in this case. Everyone here worries about the same thing, being in this situation. Imagine now what someone can feel when reading comment like "what was your symptom" so i can compare to mine and by the way "sorry".

All I am saying is that just in case it's true, keep your reservation to yourself.

[peekawho]

Point taken, as well.

I've been on MH for years, and have seen this kind of thing time and time again.   Trust me when I say that even I am not callous enough to bring up the other discrepancy.  It's right in her posts if anyone looks hard enough for it.

But enough.  Lets speak in generalities.

In general, when this kind of thing has happened before, the next action will be for the person to wail loudly and stomp about, threatening to leave and making a very passionate goodbye speech, which contains many references to those mean people who do not believe him/her.  Then the forum polarizes into the believers and the non-believers, fighting ensues, the forum is in an uproar etc etc until things just settle down on their own.  The believers frown mightily and curse at the non-believers, and they rain sympathy, hugs, and kisses down on the poster in question.  

As for keeping my mouth shut,  I brought this  up strictly b/c there is SO much anxiety on this forum, and someone "proving" that the 6 week testing is worthless will cause so much more pain, anxiety and angst that it will leave a very bad legacy for many, many months to come.  

I did look up Dr. HHH's stance on testing after a rape, and he says six weeks is nearly 100% accurate, but acknowledges that many authorities recommend a 12 week test, so he generally goes along with them to avoid confusion.  There are very many well respected sources that now recommend 6 weeks as conclusive testing under any circumstance.  More will fall in line eventually.  The wheels of medicine and politics turn slowly.

[MissingCA]

As further evidence of Helpme21's inconsistencies on 4/27/07 in her post questioning whether she had HIV,

she stated "i live alone in a new city with no family or friends."  

Yet, in this post here, she states she lives in "Australia,"

so, you be the judge whether she's being truthful or a sick individual trying to stir up horrible thoughts in those that do tend to panic...

[MissingCA]

As further evidence of Helpme21's inconsistencies on 4/27/07 in her post questioning whether she had HIV,

she stated "i live alone in a new city with no family or friends."  

Yet, in this post here, she states she lives in "Australia,"

so, you be the judge whether she's being truthful or a sick individual trying to stir up horrible thoughts in those that do tend to panic...

[hellothere123]

uhh what is inconsistent about that? people do live alone in cities in australia, ya know.

[MissingCA]

HELLO, Hello.  She lives in NY CITY and AUSTRALIA???? Isn't that two different COUNTRIES????

[hellothere123]

hello, read that again. she doesn't live in new YORK city, she lives in a NEW CITY! ie she probably just moved to a new city for university or something.

[MissingCA]

MY APOLOGIES!!!!!  You are absolutely correct, I read it 10 times and thought it said NY...again, I apologize for 'snapping.'

[tube]

I fully understand your point regarding the fact that this post raised a lot of anxiety to all of us WW who believe 6 weeks is conclusive etc ... I think she should try to find support in a forum for HIV+ only people rather than here.

This event points out the fact that this forum should be moderated more carefully in the future.

However, someone anxiety doesn't allow them to abruptly bounce the way it has been done on such terrible news that could be true. That was selfish to begin with and show no compassion.

Let's turn the page and hope the best for this girl who no matter what is true or not is probably suffering one way or the other.

[hellothere123]

you think this forum needs to be moderated because people might become anxiety-filled when people actually become positive?  contrary to what you might think, the whole purpose of this forum isn't for people to feel secure, but for people to protect themselves in the best way possible.  if 6 weeks isn't definitive (and it is not 100% even if you ask dr HHH) then people with very high risks need to be tested out to 3 months. i am sorry if the fact that HIV is out there and people get it makes you anxious/uncomfortable.  it makes me anxious as well, but it is a reality of life.  the way to avoid anxiety is not to prevent people from telling their stories, but to use protection in the future!