HIV RISK!

[justanotherfool44]

I'm gay male, last saturday night I went with a man I just met to his apartment. We were making out and he pulled my pants down. He licked his finger and started stroking my anus. Then He was caressing my body and kissing my neck behind me. He starting frotting his penis on my anus briefly and then I felt a light pressure (he wanted to go in) but I pulled away immediately.  I asked him if he had a condom and he said no. So I said I wouldn't do any penetration and procedeed to making out and mutual masturbation.
He turned me around again to kiss my back and I felt his penis behind me once more (though this time I moved before he had any time to try to push it). I got mad and left.
Though he didn't actually go in, I'm still scared cause since he had me really wet with his saliva that maybe "the tip of the tip" might have gone far enough in my anus to leave a drop of precum or two.

I have been really nervous ever since. Nauseus all the time and very anxious. Like I have something stuck in my throat.

What's my risk of getting HIV in this scenario if hypothetically we asume he was HIV positive????  

[Claire_MHModerator]

Hi, folks,

Since this thread is old and the original participants are no longer taking part, we'll close it now.  If you'd like to ask a question or start a new thread, please click the "Post a Question" button near the top of this page.  Thanks!

Claire
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[justanotherfool44]

Thanks, and sorry for bothering you all. This is just a really mysterious disease and it makes me really scared.
My last sexual encounter was last year, we used protection. And still it made me really nervous for a couple of days. I'm even scared of dating and all. Since I don't know if my partner will ever cheat on me. Even with a condom on, cause what if it breaks? HIV makes me scared of living and falling in love.

[nursegirl6572]

I understand perfectly what you're saying, and I'm telling you that what happened is NO risk.  Transmission happens INSIDE the body, where the virus can maintain its infectiousness.  You did not have a risk, period.

[highQ]

100% no way. The semen was exposed to the air which means even if he was hiv+ the virus would become inactive instantly.
No one has even gotten hiv in this way and that includes YOU.

[justanotherfool44]

but you're not understanding my concern. He didn't put his penis in. Not even the head. Not even half of it. I'm concerned the opening in the tip of the penis where semen and precum come out might have come in contact with the opening of me rectum when he tried pushing it in. That's no frotting NOR penetration. I'm asking if it's possible for a drop of precum or two to remain infectious in those circumstances. In the "entrance" (to call it some way) of my rectum.

[nursegirl6572]

If you don't know the difference between insertive sex and frottage, I don't know how to more plainly explain it to you.  We weren't there, you were.  If you're unsure whether or not he penetrated you (sounds clear to me he didn't), then test.  And, address your anxiety, because you're allowing it to rule your thoughts.

[highQ]

I understand your concern even though in light of science it makes no sense. The incident you describe did NOT put you at risk but your anxiety will likely override anything we can tell you.
If you're worried go get a test at 6 weeks post exposure and put this behind you.

[justanotherfool44]

But that's what I mean. He was pushing it in when I moved away, not only "frotting" it. I felt the pressure in my sphincter and I freaked out. He even said he wanted to do unprotected penetration when I told him I wouldn't do it. Which makes me even more scared, since I asume he's having unprotected sex all over the place with who knows how many people.

[nursegirl6572]

Our advice isn't going to change:

"Anxiety is causing you to second guess the events.  You would not have any doubt if you were penetrated or not.  Nothing else you did would place you at risk for HIV.

In the future, it's best to start out with a condom, as in the heat of the moment, things can happen that you'll regret later.  "

You're now at home, playing out scenarios with your finger, doesn't that seem a bit extreme?  You REALLY need to get help for this, there's NOTHING more we can say to convince you you didn't have a risk.  Frottage and insertive intercourse are two different things.  

Kindly move along now.

[justanotherfool44]

Hi, I just couldn't sleep last night. This is the last thing, promise!

I don't know if you understand the gravity of the incident. It wasn't just rubbing, my anus was wet and hence not closed tight. I hope I don't disturb you, but I tried applying pressure with my finger and it easily slipped in. Now, I know a finger is not a penis, and my fingers are quite thin, BUT I'm scared the tip of his penis (urethra?) might have gotten far enough in to leave some precum in the opening of my sphincter.

Yes, there was no actual penetration, but what if half a centimeter managed to go in before I could stop it???

Would you advise me to get tested???

[justanotherfool44]

Thanks. I'll try not to overthink last incident.
Thank you all.

[Teak]

Yes.

[justanotherfool44]

Thanks.
Just another question. If we use a condom and it does not break, is it completely safe against HIV infection??

[Teak]

You never had an exposue.

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child

[justanotherfool44]

I mean, but I was really wet and dillatated. Would you still say no risk even if he had precum on his penis??

[Vance2335]

Fluids are not heat seeking missiles, they don't just find a way in. Also need more then a little amount of anything.

[justanotherfool44]

He didn't  go in, I'm just scared that he virus might've found a way to enter my rectum because of the precum when he put the tip on my anus opening. Is that posible? and if not, why does it need to be a full penetration in order to get infected? aren't the fluids enough to find a way in??

[nursegirl6572]

Anxiety is causing you to second guess the events.  You would not have any doubt if you were penetrated or not.  Nothing else you did would place you at risk for HIV.

In the future, it's best to start out with a condom, as in the heat of the moment, things can happen that you'll regret later.  

[Vance2335]

People know when something goes it. Only you can say if he entered you. From what you say i see no risk.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, you had not risk as would need penitration.