I'm scared and anxious. I've been crying since Friday.
I went to meet a Transgendered Asian MTF to settle my "am I bi?" debate, and ended up trying bottoming.
I don't know this person's status, and I did see they had a condom on after they tried to **** me from behind. The whole anal intercourse took 30 seconds to a minute since I couldn't handle it. I don't know if they had a condom on during that time though and my mind is using that as evidence of being barebacked by an HIV+ individual. I only remember now seeing the condom when we moved positions after she stopped penetrating me. Basically, I wasn't watching her the entire time and have lapses in memory as to whether I observed her putting on the condom at first or not..
We stopped the sex, and I didn't want to continue at which point I was kicked out into the hallway naked. It was a bad experience in the end, but during it it seemed fine. I performed oral on this individual as well.
When I got home and wiped my *** from all the lube, I defecated and noticed blood on the napkin. I have hemorrhoids and attributed the blood to irritation from the penetration. There was no pre-cum on the penis because I had performed a bit of oral prior to receiving anal.
Given that I am unsure if I received protected or unprotected anal, but I am certain that there was no ejaculates (just a little anal bleeding on my end) what are the chances of me making it out okay given that I went to the ER and administered PEP about 28-32 hours after. I didn't know about PEPs until the next day..
I started on Truvada and Isentress and plan to take them every day consistently. I will not screw around with the dosage but I am having some odd side effects which are making me worry, such as chills, sweating, fatigue.
I'm sick of myself and hating everything about what happened. I wish I could take it back but the only thing that can calm me now is knowing from the community here whether realistically I will end up becoming HIV+.
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