Hello all. First time posting in this forum. I have posted in the alcoholic and anxiety forum before.
Well it looks like I am going to bite the bullet and get tested.
I haven't been tested for about six years. The last time I go tested was after I had completed an adult film. My first and last adult video. I had to sleep with three girls in one day. 2 out of the three girls I did not use a condom. The company that put the adult video together, had all the talent get tested (including me.) Everyone was negative...so they said. I know I was, for sure. I didn't get to see actual results on a paper, but then again, they didn't see mine either. We all had numbers that we could phone in. I told everyone that they could phone in my numbers, but they all believed me. It didn't seem like a big deal. After my scenes with the girls (that I didn't use protection,) I asked them about them being tested, and they both said that they weren't allowed to shoot any scenes till they were. The owner of the company was very strict on that.
At that time, I ended up getting tested, because a day later, after the shoot, I got red bumps on the penis head that were really really itchy. I thought it was herpes, but it turned out that it was a bad reaction to one of the girls tounge rings (metal and such.) The doc gave me cream for it and it went away a few days later. However, the doc scared the living **** out of me by telling me that just because the girls I slept with were tested, doesn't mean that they didn't have HIV. So he convinced me to get tested. The test came back inconclusive and they wanted me to test again. He told me that it would be better to get tested 6 months to a year later, since it wouldn't be detected till then. It was way too soon after the sexual encounters to show a positive or a negative result. However, I never went back to redo it. Too scared and kind of forgot about it.
Since then, I had slept with other people, with condoms. I have slept with about 10 people, all safe sex, including my wife. However, from what I read, it doesn't matter if you use condoms. From what I can tell, it reduces the risk, but doesn't prevent.
I haven't had any symptoms, but from what I read, it doesn't matter. You may get some, then again you may not. HIV may appear in 2 to four weeks after infection, then again it may not appear 10 years down the road, when its too late, and in full blown AIDS. It is very confusing, very scary. I'm reading about inconclusive results, intermediate results, false positives, false negatives, ect., ect., ect. After awhile it gets irritating cause apparently with this diease, its all over the board. There is no set circumstances.
In the last six years, I have been in the hospital several times for alcohol related things. They have done blood tests every time and told me that my blood tests came back perfect. Nothing to worry about. I would think if I was HIV positive that one of those blood tests that was done by the emergency people would come back with some sort of hint that I could have HIV. But judging from what I am reading online, they wouldn't be able to tell. It has to be a completely HIV test and no other.
Since I am 31, I am getting a physical done this coming week from a new doctor. He is checking everything, including HIV. However, for some reason, or maybe its my anxiety, I feel that I should go down to the free clinic tomorrow, get tested, and find out in the 20 minutes, what my status is. It seems a little more confidential to me and I am a number, not a name. That way I can know without my physician knowing.
My question is what would be better? Let me new doctor perform all the tests (HIV included) or go down to the local free testing clinic? Are there any pros or cons to this? If I am negative tomorrow, does that mean I am negative for good? Or does that mean I have to get tested annually? If for some reason I am HIV positive, what are the next steps I should do? How do I tell my wife? Is it guaranteed that she will have it? What are the best medications? I have read that HIV infected people are living up to 59 years with medication.
I don't know how to feel about my situation. I know there are tons of people in the same situations, if not worse. The way I look at it is this, I would rather know tomorrow and live a long life with the disease, rather than not go, and live another 4 years.
Please help. Thank you for reading.
Note: My wife knows my sexual history. I kind of know hers. She was in a really bad relationship before me, where the boyfriend cheated on her and beat her, ect., ect. She has not seen a doctor, as far as I know, in years. Probably longer than me. I don't even know if she's been tested.
No difference a test is a test. If you are negative tomorrow then as long as your wife is negative and you or her is not having sex with others and had not had sex with anyone else in the past 3 months other then wife then you are negative for good. If you are positive talk with your Dr and get to a ID Dr. Telling your wife...that is something that you will have to do and only you know how to tell her, they should have a councelor to help you out and talk things over to start. Is it guaranteed...no but more then likely she would.
Best medicines you will have to talk to your Dr about, and yes people live very long lives being HIV+.
You said that condoms lower the risk which is wrong. Condoms reduce the risk to 0. When you use protection you do not have a risk as long as the condom does not break.
Think good thoughts, don't let your mind venture down the road that will drive you crazy. When I tested for my first and only time before my wife and I got married I was very nervous the day before and day of the results because I knew how risky I was, but I kept my mind focused and did put my anxiety to rest by thinking good thoughts. So think good thoughts and don't jump the gun thinking your HIV +.
Thank you for the quick responses. I think I will let the new doctor do the blood work. I like him very much and if that is a better way to go, then that is the way to go. I really don't want to go through a inconclusive, intermediate, false negative, false positive scenarios...that would just add to my anxiety. I know that it can happen, but if going through the doctor is better, that is what I will do.
Thanks for clarifying the condom thing. As far as I know, the condoms didn't break. 2 out of 12 ain't bad.
I am trying to think good thoughts. I have tendency to go to the extreme worst scenario all the time. Plus I have anxiety which really doesn't help. Plus I am trying to stop drinking which adds to my anxiety and depression.
But getting tested is the most logical and responsible thing to do and the best thing for everyone. Lets hope those girls were really negative.
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