HIV scare

[Jim_1212]

Hello
I currently suffer with OCD and have HIV anxiety, every situation seems to be a route of tramossion.
Just after some reassurance, the other day I was walking down the street, and this grubby guy walked passed me, and I just happened to turn round and look at him and he was starring right at me, and looked quite mischievous as if he'd just done somthing. Thing is I keep thinking what if he jabbed me with a needle, the fact he was starring right at me when I turned round got me thinking why was he doing that, and my OCD makes me believe he may of stuck me with a needle. Now I don't recall feeling a sharp prick at the time but I do have a dodgy back on the side I thought he pricked me so I do have some pain there, but I still worry, what if it's a needle prick and I just didn't notice it at the time.
I checked my back there are some marks on there but they would be spots or older markers, none of them were sore when I touched them.
I'm just obsessing as he was looking right at me when I tuned round, like why would he be starring at me like that if he hadn't done anything...?
Is it possible that the situation happen and he could of stuck me with a needle?
Any advice would be great thanks!

[RubyWitch]

I am not very up to date about OCD meds, so if you are still having good and bad days, perhaps a discussion with your doctor about changing the dose or perhaps trying a different med would help.

As for therapy..........finding the right therapist for YOU is very, very important in the healing process. It may not have been beneficial for you the last time because you weren't with the right therapist. It is really important to like and trust your therapist to make progress. Never hesitate to change practitioners if you feel uncomfortable in ANY way. Trust me, you will not hurt their feelings. Just remember, therapy is about YOU, not them.
I wish you the best
RubyWitch  

[Jim_1212]

I am actually on medication, which helps the thoughts go quicker, I find I have good and bad days still tho, hopefully therapy will work, I tried it before but had no luck, but I wasn't on any meds back then so I was very negative towards it, didn't really believe it if
You see what I mean.
Thanks for the help!

[RubyWitch]

OCD can be, as you well know, a terribly debilitating disorder. Therapy, and perhaps medication, will help you tremendously to deal with this. There is hope and help at the end of your terrible tunnel. Run towards it.
I wish you the very best
RubyWitch    

[Jim_1212]

It's still hard tho, and causes Great Depression and low mood until you realise it's all in your head. I'm like it with everything is the same fear of needles in general. Yesterday I was on the train and thought I felt a pain in my right buttocks and convinced myself I sat on a needle. This bad caused me some worry, but when j get over one thought it just gets replaced with another.
Hopefully therapy will help me out as it's impossible to live like this.
Thanks.

[RubyWitch]

I think it's very encouraging you're able to see that it was your OCD making you think this way, and even more encouraging that you're seeking help. Please don't call it "crazy" because you can't help how you're wired. Therapy will help you and I hope they can see you soon.
I wish you good mental health
RubyWitch

[Jim_1212]

I know it's crazy to think such a thing but it's just what my head tells me. Your right I don t recall him bumping or lunging into me but my OCD minds tries to tell me he did even tho I didn't if you see what I mean.. The OCD plays tricks on your mind and makes believe something that didn't happen.
Your right he may of recognised me from somewhere and yes as he looked gruby so it got me thinking. I know didn't feel anything but again my OCD says different n tells me I did.

I understand that things like this just don't happen but because of my fear it's hard to accept that. I'm on the waiting list for therapy for my OCD n irrational thoughts. I won't be having and HIV test as that defeats the point of having this problem.

Thanks for your advice, and time to reply .

[RubyWitch]

Seriously.........no, I don't think you have anything to worry about. You said you passed this person on the street, but this person did not bump into you, or lunge at you or even touch you, so I don't understand how you could think he'd have been able to jab you with a needle. You must have walked past many other people that day and weren't concerned that they had stuck you. Was it simply because this man was "grubby?" And when you turned around and he was staring at you in a way you described as "quite mischievous." perhaps he thought he knew you, or you reminded him of someone or quite possibly he wasn't looking at YOU at all.  

If somebody besides a professional phlebotomist "jabs" you with a needle, I do believe you would feel it. You felt nothing, you saw nothing, and in my humble opinion, you are freaking out about nothing.

I don't know what this "list" is you're on, but I'll assume it's for HIV testing. When that test comes back negative, I do hope you take my advice and seek help for the OCD and anxiety. You should probably mention the paranoia, too.    

[Jim_1212]

So you don't think I have anything to worry about then? I am currently on the waiting list takes ages...
Thanks

[RubyWitch]

I'd be more concerned about my wallet than a needle stick. I suggest you seek therapy for your OCD and anxiety.