I did a stupid thing and had a random encounter with a guy from a bar 8 years ago, can't remember what we engaged in as I was too drunk but at least frotaging but I remember him remarking that he should put on a condom after a while.
At the time I had test on 4 weeks and 11.2 weeks at a NHS clinic but negative and negative for all other STD. At the time I had difficulty accepting the result and was sent for counselling to help me with this.
The counseling didn't help and eventually I stopped it. At times I've put the concerns in the back of my mind but I've always considered myself to be positive and been cagey about getting in to relationships or having sex only in the most clinical manner (and very rarely).
Anyway I've recently fallen for someone and my concerns over HIV have flared up because I want to live a full relationship with them and feel comfortable. But I recognise so many symptoms in my body including: feet tingling constantly, dry mouth, regular need to urinate, ridges on fingernails, fatigue, gum decline, hair loss, recently had a cyst. I understand most of these issues can be from stress related or other deficiency issues or just getting old and I should see my GP about them.
The most alarming issue is my feet tingling constantly the only time they do not is first thing in the morning.
Should also say that I eat well and exercise regularly and am a good for age marathon runner so struggle to believe these issues are from any vitamin deficiency.
I have tested again anyway and get my results on Thursday which if negative I hope I can accept and move on. The nurse taking it said she will eat her hat if it comes back positive.
I'm so worried about being positive and don't know what I'll do. Sorry not really a question just feel miserable tonight and looking for any guise of hope that I can cling on to and a place to vent.
Is there any chance I could give this to my family by normal contact or friends or partners through protected sex. I am wracked with guilt as I watch my mum get ill and have coughs all the time and my mum and dads gum health declining rapidly and losing teath. I'm convinced I have also infected them somehow.