Aa
Hetero gamgbang risks
Hi - I went to a party Wednesday night and as the night wore on it devolved into a gangbang party. That's not my scene, I have never done group sex or even not used condoms unless Im in a long term relationship. But for some reason this turned me on.
There were probably 10 guys there and 4 women participating. Almost all of the guys were going bareback. Not ejaculating in the women. Two guys were African American, which I bring up because that group seems to have a higher risk of hiv.
I got the impression that some of the participants had done this before. I don't know if the girls had done this before or not. No idea about their history.
I'm ashamed to admit it but I participated. I'm telling it like it happened because I want the most accurate advice.
I lay on the bed with the one girl I wanted to be with. I had a condom in my hand and was getting ready to put it on. The girl straddled me and put my penis inside her before the condom was on. She bounced on me once or twice. I pushed her off of me because I was furious and upset that she didn't let me get the condom on, she rubbed against me and I ejaculated outside her body. I got up, put my clothes on, urinated, washed myself off. Washed my hands. Left. My contact in her was very short - we are talking 20 seconds max - although I know any contact can result in infection.
Today, which was less than 48 hours from contact. I went to the ER after reading about PEP. The doctor told me it was my choice but seemed to tell me the odds are pretty low that this would result in HIV. Herpes, chlamydia, ghonorrea, HPV yes. But HIV risk was relatively low considering there was no blood, and it was vaginal and not anal.
I think he said the odds were something like 1/100 of the girl having it, and 1/5000 of me catching it if she had it, for a total of 1/500000. I assume that me being in her a short time lowers those odds a little. And I assume there could have been factors that increased them somewhat too.
So I left without PEP.
Right now I'm a little over 48 hours since contact. Around 10pm on the 4th of July is 72 hours. I can get up early and return to the ER and ask to be put on PEP if I change my mind. That would be before 60 hours.
I know it's late, and I hope someone will still be up,to answer....but does anyone have any advice on what to do? I know that it's ultimately up to me. The doctor checked my lymph nodes and they weren't swollen. I woke up,with my neck hurting on one side but the dr was unconcerned and didn't feel any swollen glands there. I know I'm HIV negative, as I regularly give blood and haven't had any partners for a while. Plus I religiously use condoms.
Anyway thanks for your help. This was a one off thing. I've read about people with chronic unsafe sexual habits who are on PEP every other month. That's not me. I can't explain why I did what I did but I know it was so stupid on a number of levels, despite my intention of using a comdom. It happened so fast, there were people watching, that the girl caught me by surprise to be honest with u. I was not happy. And I've been freaking out since. Very ashamed.
Thanks in advance for any help.
Take care.
There were probably 10 guys there and 4 women participating. Almost all of the guys were going bareback. Not ejaculating in the women. Two guys were African American, which I bring up because that group seems to have a higher risk of hiv.
I got the impression that some of the participants had done this before. I don't know if the girls had done this before or not. No idea about their history.
I'm ashamed to admit it but I participated. I'm telling it like it happened because I want the most accurate advice.
I lay on the bed with the one girl I wanted to be with. I had a condom in my hand and was getting ready to put it on. The girl straddled me and put my penis inside her before the condom was on. She bounced on me once or twice. I pushed her off of me because I was furious and upset that she didn't let me get the condom on, she rubbed against me and I ejaculated outside her body. I got up, put my clothes on, urinated, washed myself off. Washed my hands. Left. My contact in her was very short - we are talking 20 seconds max - although I know any contact can result in infection.
Today, which was less than 48 hours from contact. I went to the ER after reading about PEP. The doctor told me it was my choice but seemed to tell me the odds are pretty low that this would result in HIV. Herpes, chlamydia, ghonorrea, HPV yes. But HIV risk was relatively low considering there was no blood, and it was vaginal and not anal.
I think he said the odds were something like 1/100 of the girl having it, and 1/5000 of me catching it if she had it, for a total of 1/500000. I assume that me being in her a short time lowers those odds a little. And I assume there could have been factors that increased them somewhat too.
So I left without PEP.
Right now I'm a little over 48 hours since contact. Around 10pm on the 4th of July is 72 hours. I can get up early and return to the ER and ask to be put on PEP if I change my mind. That would be before 60 hours.
I know it's late, and I hope someone will still be up,to answer....but does anyone have any advice on what to do? I know that it's ultimately up to me. The doctor checked my lymph nodes and they weren't swollen. I woke up,with my neck hurting on one side but the dr was unconcerned and didn't feel any swollen glands there. I know I'm HIV negative, as I regularly give blood and haven't had any partners for a while. Plus I religiously use condoms.
Anyway thanks for your help. This was a one off thing. I've read about people with chronic unsafe sexual habits who are on PEP every other month. That's not me. I can't explain why I did what I did but I know it was so stupid on a number of levels, despite my intention of using a comdom. It happened so fast, there were people watching, that the girl caught me by surprise to be honest with u. I was not happy. And I've been freaking out since. Very ashamed.
Thanks in advance for any help.
Take care.
Thank you James! You just gave me exactly what I was looking for. You gave me what I was hoping to find when I came here in the first place. As I said, I was hoping for some guidance with pep that the ER didn't give me.
You finally told me that it isn't recommended usually for the insertive partner. Thank you. That's all I needed. I wish you had told me that on your first reply. But no matter I thank you now.
James I had a right to be angry. I didn't know the for pay part of the site was closed. I was fully prepared to make a donation in order to ask my question. Then when I ask it im basically told that I'm an adult and figure it out myself. I am able to make a decision on pep myself. But first I need more information that I haven't been able to find. This is the first I've heard that pep isn't usually used for the insertive partner. It helps a lot and makes me feel a whole lot less guilty - and like I did the correct thing - when I decided against pep while I had the chance.
Thanks and take care.
You finally told me that it isn't recommended usually for the insertive partner. Thank you. That's all I needed. I wish you had told me that on your first reply. But no matter I thank you now.
James I had a right to be angry. I didn't know the for pay part of the site was closed. I was fully prepared to make a donation in order to ask my question. Then when I ask it im basically told that I'm an adult and figure it out myself. I am able to make a decision on pep myself. But first I need more information that I haven't been able to find. This is the first I've heard that pep isn't usually used for the insertive partner. It helps a lot and makes me feel a whole lot less guilty - and like I did the correct thing - when I decided against pep while I had the chance.
Thanks and take care.
I'm not arguing with you. I gave you accurate information and told you that you had a risk. I wasn't going to lie to you and say that you did not have one.
As for the PEP, it would not be recommended usually for the insertive partner. That's why I said it was up to you. So you had no need to freak out and talk about how you came to the wrong place.
I can guarantee that if you would've responsed to most other people on this forum like you did to me, they would not continue to offer you help and ask if you had any specific questions.
Once again, take a DUO test at 28 days. That's the best we can tell you.
As for the PEP, it would not be recommended usually for the insertive partner. That's why I said it was up to you. So you had no need to freak out and talk about how you came to the wrong place.
I can guarantee that if you would've responsed to most other people on this forum like you did to me, they would not continue to offer you help and ask if you had any specific questions.
Once again, take a DUO test at 28 days. That's the best we can tell you.
Don't worry about it.
I came for what I expected to be expert advice. I explained why in my follow up post - because I felt that the ER staff had little to no experience with PEP (although they did provide me with what they thought were accurate risk numbers). The 72 hr PEP windows was still open when I asked my original question. All I got from you was essentially "you're an adult. Figure it out". Not exactly expert advice.
That's why I was mad. In the end it makes zero difference at this point. I made my bed and I'll sleep in it.
As for compassion. Like I said I don't need to be patted on the head. But instead of giving such a lame answer have some compassion for someone desperate enough to come here seeking help. Give them something more than "youre an adult. Make your own decision."
No more *** for tat. I'm done with this argument. I'm under as much stress as I can handle. Regardless of whether it's self inflicted I'm a human being and it was a mistake and I don't know how I will cope,for the next month or 6 weeks.
I came for what I expected to be expert advice. I explained why in my follow up post - because I felt that the ER staff had little to no experience with PEP (although they did provide me with what they thought were accurate risk numbers). The 72 hr PEP windows was still open when I asked my original question. All I got from you was essentially "you're an adult. Figure it out". Not exactly expert advice.
That's why I was mad. In the end it makes zero difference at this point. I made my bed and I'll sleep in it.
As for compassion. Like I said I don't need to be patted on the head. But instead of giving such a lame answer have some compassion for someone desperate enough to come here seeking help. Give them something more than "youre an adult. Make your own decision."
No more *** for tat. I'm done with this argument. I'm under as much stress as I can handle. Regardless of whether it's self inflicted I'm a human being and it was a mistake and I don't know how I will cope,for the next month or 6 weeks.
You provided me zero help or advice other than to get a test. I wouldn't have thought of that myself.
What I was looking for was some guidance from people who were knowledgeable about pep and risks.
Guess I came to wrong place.
What I was looking for was some guidance from people who were knowledgeable about pep and risks.
Guess I came to wrong place.
What are you talking about? What "crap" did I give you? I gave you accurate information and certainly did not "pat you on the back and say everything is going to be okay."
Dr. HHH would've said the same thing I did. He just would've been more detailed about it.
Also, you say you're looking for compassion? Even though I didn't give you any, you accused me of giving you sympathy. So what do you want? Do you want me to pat you on the back and say everything is going to be okay?
Dr. HHH would've said the same thing I did. He just would've been more detailed about it.
Also, you say you're looking for compassion? Even though I didn't give you any, you accused me of giving you sympathy. So what do you want? Do you want me to pat you on the back and say everything is going to be okay?
Why did you bother responding.
I didn't come here to have someone pat me on the back and to say everything is going to be ok. You're right I'm an adult. I accept responsibility for what I did.
But at the ER I went to the PA and attending didn't seem very knowledgable. I came her for expert advice and I get crap from you.
Unless you're the one perfect human James I'm sure you must have made some mistakes in your life. In this case this is the one time other than with one long term gf that I have ever not used a condom, and I would have had the girl not jumped on me and pinned her legs against my thighs preventing me from pushing her off.
A little compassion at a place like this where people realize that they made a life altering mistake and are literally worried to the point of not eating would be nice. And if you have no expert knowledge then don't bother answering.
Thanks for your lack of help. Wish Dr Hansfield was still here.
I didn't come here to have someone pat me on the back and to say everything is going to be ok. You're right I'm an adult. I accept responsibility for what I did.
But at the ER I went to the PA and attending didn't seem very knowledgable. I came her for expert advice and I get crap from you.
Unless you're the one perfect human James I'm sure you must have made some mistakes in your life. In this case this is the one time other than with one long term gf that I have ever not used a condom, and I would have had the girl not jumped on me and pinned her legs against my thighs preventing me from pushing her off.
A little compassion at a place like this where people realize that they made a life altering mistake and are literally worried to the point of not eating would be nice. And if you have no expert knowledge then don't bother answering.
Thanks for your lack of help. Wish Dr Hansfield was still here.
PEP Is completely up to you. You're an adult and able to make your own choices.
However, you had a risk and need to test. Take a DUO test at 28 days
However, you had a risk and need to test. Take a DUO test at 28 days
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
