I am so scared that I have HIV

Hello Doctor,

I have read many of your posts and I have found them very informative.  I'll get into my story.  I had protected anal sex with a Brazilian woman of unknown status about 5 weeks ago, however we were both intoxicated and I noticed that the condom was inside of her after we were done so basically the sex was unprotected.  This is my first time having unprotected sex in my life.  I was worried sick and I found out that this woman has been a stripper in the past. We met on the subway in New York and she was very flirty with me and we ended up having intercourse.  I was worried about the encounter however I was unaware of post exposure prophylaxis at the time, I should have done more reading about this in my life.  I just never thought I would have been possibly exposed to HIV because I always use protection, but this time it failed.  Anyway about two and a half weeks later I began to feel ill, malaise, muscle twitching, my pulse felt like it was jumping, not really any headaches, more of a malaise feeling and I didnt want to get out of bed.  At first I thought I may have contracted Herpes and so I immediately went to a urologist and he said that I had no herpes or genital warts.  I also read online which may or may not be true that one can feel herpes symptoms without an outbreak, the urologist told me that this was false.   I thought I got herpes because I was reading about the symptoms and they seemed similar to some of the HIV symptoms and I didnt immediately jump to an HIV possibility.  the feeling continued and then I began reading about acute HIV symptoms and I felt like I had a lot of them.  My heart rate was high, I had malaise, I didnt really have muscle or joint pains.  It was more like muscle twitching all around my body especially in my legs.  I smoked some weed and these symptoms were even enhanced and when I was hungover a couple times they got worse too.  Some of this seemed Neurological and I know this can occurr during acute infection.  I felt confused and depressed even my friends said that I was acting strangely and that I was quiet, normally I am not.  I definitely felt something, and i did not feel well.  I took my temperature about a week and a half into this awful phase and my temperature was 99.6 or 99.8 degrees.  Is that too low to be a fever.  Maybe it would have been higher in the early acute stages, I really dont know.  I would pace around my apartment because I was thinking  I was going through HIV acute.  I never threw up or had diarrhea really, maybe a little diarrhea but not severe.  I eat a lot of protein so i normally can have some diarrhea.  I think I may have had thrush but I have been smoking almost a pack a day since I thought I had HIV so that could have cause my thrush feeling although I did notice white on my tongue and eventually almost brown after I had been smoking so much.  Can a flu or other viral infections cause thrush that would make me have all these symptoms as well.  I have been so depressed, I have gone out at night less.  I have just not felt like me at all, I reall think I have HIV and that I just went through the acute stage.

I did notice dark urine and light colored stools so I suspected possible hepatitis, but i think i have been vaccinated for Hep A and B when I was younger and I know many other things can cause light colored stools and dark urine.  I have had no jaundice.  I am not sure when I was vaccinated, I am 24 now arent these vaccinations pretty much routine now and I have read that they can last for 15 years or indefinitely.  I went to a doctor yesterday for a physical but I told him that I was very concerned about HIV, I have been freaking out everyday and I try to hide it around friends.  The first thing he checked for were swollen lymph nodes and the rash and I had no swollen lymph nodes and I never developed an acute HIV rash which he was the most worried about.  He happened to specialize in HIV and he said what worried him the most about potential HIV infected people is the rash and swollen lymph nodes, that is what he says seem to be the most blatant symptoms of the people who come in and eventually test positive.  The lab was closed after my appointment but I am going in either thursday or Friday for a rapid HIV test.  I am so nervous, I cannot get anything done at my job and I think I could get fired from this whole mess.  What do you think from what I have told you.  I have also had unprotected insertive oral sex with a couple of call girls in my life, but my doctor told me that insertive oral sex is practically zero risk and that there have never been any documented cases of this.  He said even if there was blood or semen in the woman's mouth it would almost certainly not infect through your urethra, he said hes never seen a case from insertive oral sex of all the HIV cases he has seen and he specializes in HIV.  He was much more worried about the condom falling off in the anal sex.  I still have twitches in my body but most of the symptoms have left me which is another reason that i am worried because it said that the symptoms of acute just sort of disappear.  Many viruses have been going around NYC recently, but I felt some psychological stuff going on in my brain which a regular flu I feel like would not do.  Also I dont think Ive had the flu since i was a young kid so I dont really remember what it feels like, but can a flu last for 3-4 weeks.  I really dont know.  I guess I could have gotten Mono, sorry for rambling I am just so nervous and this would just ruin my life.  My friends and family and the stigma, the pain, side effects of anti-retroviral meds.  I dont think I could live with HIV.   Maybe my anxiety prolonged it, I really dont know.  I just would love to have your thoughts on this

[Dunnlopez]

i also did have a loss of appetite during my symptoms, I hope you guys still read my post.  I know I made it too long, I just wanted to put everything out there

[Mitch82]

Hi as long as your head was covered by the condom during sex, you were not at risk, your symptoms don't sound like typical ARS either, a lot of your symptoms could be attributed to anxiety.

[Dunnlopez]

I do not think my head was covered but cant be sure, because I was pretty intoxicated.  I also did have some minor back pain which I suspected an enlarged spleen which I read can happen during ARS.  You might be right, but I have also had trouble sleeping and I just felt in a daze and confused and just not well in general, it was hot in NY at the time.  Maybe that had something to do with it, but honestly I cannot remember the last time I had these feelings.  The anxiety began more after these certain symptoms developed two weeks after this possible exposure

[Dunnlopez]

thanks for the reply mitch 82, why do you say those dont sound like ARS symptoms.  I feel like all of them do.  I feel like malaise is one of the main ones that all people undergo

[Teak]

Most people that are infected show no signs or symptoms. If you had unprotected sex test at 6 weeks if negative retest at 12 weeks and that test will be conclusive. Really it sounds like you lost your condom on withdraw which would not be a risk.

[Dunnlopez]

Thanks for your response Teak.  Really I read that 50 to 90% of people show some acute symptoms.  I dont think I just lost my condom at withdrawal, I really do not know though, it could have been off the whole time.  Its weird though because these symptoms occurred exactly two weeks after my possible exposure and now they are starting to fade away.  My doctor said I was at low risk maybe my anxiety has calmed but these twitches in my body remain, I also kind of had a stiff neck for a while and felt lethargic with fatigue.  I have valium now too from my doctor which has also calmed me down, but i'm telling you these symptoms of malaise and fatigue etc kicked in precisely two and a half weeks after this incident and now 3-4 weeks are digressing and seem to disappearing.  The timing just seems so perfect for acute infection

[Dunnlopez]

Hey Teak, I checked out your profile and I saw that you were HIV positive, Did you have any signs or symptoms or an acute phase of infection when you contracted it.  Sorry to ask you that but I am so worried, I cannot get anything done at work.  I am a mental mess, all day at work I read about insertive anal and oral sex probabilities.  Two saturdays ago I felt awful.  I feel like my social skills have diminished around my friend too, my personality has changed etc. which I read was a typical symptom of acute HIV.

[Teak]

You didn't mention fever so whatever is going on it's not ARS.

[Dunnlopez]

Hey Teak,

Sorry to keep bugging you but I may have had a fever earlier in the symptoms.  I measured my temperature after I believe around 2 weeks or so when I was feeling these symptoms and it was around 99.6-99.8 degrees, on the thermometer it looked like it did not reach one hundred.  Is it possible that I had a higher temperature earlier in the acute stage or does a high fever persist throughout the entire acute stage, sorry to keep asking so many questions, I am obviously so worried and distraught.  Also do you know what temperature is typical during acute HIV?

[Dunnlopez]

I forgot to mention that I did have a dry cough and a mild sore throat during this too

[Teak]

You didn't have a fever associated with ARS.

[nursegirl6572]

I have to agree that I bet you lost the condom during withdrawal.  If it had come loose before that, I doubt it would have still been hanging out of her anus.  It would have either been inside her, or completely dislodged.  Plus, you would have most certainly felt the exact time it became dislodged.  Did you ejaculate?  If so, where was the semen?  THAT is a great way to tell if you were protected or not.

Also, your symptoms are not typical of ARS, despite what you have read, which you obviously have read a lot, from your comments.  For instance, you checking yourself for janudice, etc...if you HAD contracted hepatitis from this encounter, these kinds of things would NOT be showing themselves yet, not even close.

IF a newly infected person shows symptoms (HIV), a high fever (over 101) is very common.  Almost NEVER does ARS occur without this significantly high fever.  The rest of your symptoms could be attributed to just about anything.....anxiety for sure.

Since you are not 100% sure that you were protected, testing is a good idea.  I have a strong feeling that you weren't really exposed, and your reported "symptoms" are not consistent with HIV at all.  Test at 6 weeks for a VERY good indication of your final result, and again at 12 weeks for a conclusive result.

Word to the wise, which I'm sure you already know...alcohol and sex, NOT a good combo!

[Dunnlopez]

Teak,

I hate to keep bothering you or question your expertise because I now know you teach classes about HIV but how can you be so sure that it was not related to ARS.  What makes you so sure about it?  You are easing my anxiety  I may have had another viral infection, but arent these contagious.  I shared drinks with friends and none of them got sick or anything, not saying that this would necessarily happen but I just find it strange.  Thanks for all of your help

[Teak]

Temps with ARS are over 101 degrees and you would have known.

[Dunnlopez]

Thank you so much nursegirl, but what actually happened was the condom was inside of her anus.  I actually did not ejaculate in her anus, on one of my thrusts during the sex when my penis was outside of her anus I realized that the condom was not on anymore and I did notice some fluid on my penis from her anus.  And this is kind of gross but I actually finished from her giving me fellatio so I did not ejaculate in her anus or vagina.  I am not sure how long my penis was in her anus, not too long though and I really dont know how long the condom was off for, like i said I was intoxicated.  Realistically for all I know it could have been off the whole time, I really dont know.  And yes you're right alcohol and sex are the worst combination ever, this caused my terrible condom mishap.  The thing is, I was very anxious about it but I wouldnt have expected this woman to have HIV even though I met her on the subway and really knew nothing about her so i should have been smarter about it.  If I had known about PEP i would have done it to be safe but I was not aware of this treatment.  So I thought about the incident a lot but I wasnt too worried a week after too much because I figured what are the chances that she has HIV until these symptoms struck me two to two and half weeks later.  The malaise, lethargy, confusion really were the symptoms that struck me the most along with the muscle twitches, this is when I really started getting worried.  Like I said I had never really felt like this.  Then reading about HIV symptoms made it worse im sure but right now even as I am typing this I still have random twitches or even tiny muscle spasms, is this a symptom of ARS?  What symptoms of mine are not typical of ARS besides the high fever, I feel like all of them are? I feel like my temperature could have been higher prior to me measuring it, plus no one knows if they have a fever unless they take his/her temperature.  And honestly I have not taken my temperature in years so that is the only way I would know.  And yes I have been reading a lot about this, my main worry is how these symptoms are just sort of disappearing which is what I feel like ARS symptoms do, at least I have read that a lot.

[Teak]

Then go by the testing guidelines I gave you earlier.

[Dunnlopez]

Thanks for your help Teak,

I am sure Im getting annoying now.  I will follow your testing guidelines, Im getting a rapid test this week.  Insertive oral sex really is zero risk isnt it?  Also a couple more quick questions, what else can cause thrush besides acute HIV?  Can a regular flu cause it or is it only certain viral infections, I know there are many types of viral infections.  Also are muscle twitching caused by ARS or not?  flus dont typically last 3-4 weeks do they? Thanks a lot Teak and Nursegirl for responding to my posts.

Best to both of you

[Dunnlopez]

One more quick question for anyone, is it possible for acute HIV symptoms to begin in 2-3 days or does it always occurr within approximately 2-4 weeks

[nursegirl6572]

it possible for acute HIV symptoms to begin in 2-3 days


NO

[Dunnlopez]

Thanks nursegirl,

When you say my symptoms are not typical of HIV at all what do you mean?  I could have had a high fever before I measured my temperature.  I read that fever during acute HIV can go up and down.  What else that I described is not typical of acute HIV?  Please let me know because I thought everything i felt were common symptoms of HIV from the research I did.  Thanks

Best

[legendariusz]

Hey,

First thing you need to try to do is: relax and stop using the internet in this state of mind.
You are feeding you anxiety with this. While everybody is telling you your symptoms are nor ARS and chances are incredibly low you go into discussion. I totally understand you, you are having panics about it.

I will try to calm you down with some statistics, it worked for me I am in a simular situation and waiting for my windowtime to pass, in a week it will be 50 days and I go and check

Statistics; she was a Brazilian girl, statistics say that 0.05% of the people are HIV infected, its a simular number in the US. So lets say you were to meet 1000 Brazilian girls on that subway station only 1 would be dangerous, how unlucky would you have to have to meet her, but ok let's say you were the unlucky one and met her.
The chance to get infected by Insertive anal intercourse is, according to Wikipedia, 6.5 persons out of 10.000, lets say 1 person will catch it if 1500 infected girls will have anal intercourse with 1500 healthy guys.

So even if you were the unlucky one to have picked up the 'chosen one' on the subway station among the 2000 girls, you would have to be the really "unlucky" one again to catch it. Chances are incredibly small so just relax and get tested for your own nightrest to eliminate that small 0.X% left.

Dont let it lead your life. I also am in my window period and have a sore throat, a cough, full nose headake, sounds like a normal flew, it also matches the symptoms as they say with HIV, however these symptoms are basically found in anything. I walk around with the simular issue like you but try rationalize it a bit more.

good luck

[Dunnlopez]

Thanks a lot for the reassurance legendariusz.  Did you have a fever when you thought you were going through ARS?  I only measured my temperature once when I suspected this and it was one degree above normal body temp.  But i feel like my temperature could have gone down.  I really dont know, it was about 2 weeks into it

[LIZZIE LOU]

symptoms...or lack of symptoms...are never a way to judge your status.  the same symptoms associated with ARS, can also be from normal, everyday illnesses.

you have been advised to test...and THAT is the only way to know your status.

[nursegirl6572]

You would know if you had a fever of 101 or higher, you would have been very ill.  Pretty much ANY symptom can be associated with ARS, there are many and they vary a lot.  Not to mention that a majority of newly infected people never even GET symptoms.  You have to put your "symptoms" out of your mind and get your anxiety under control.  And, the very WORST thing you can do is search the internet.  You will find all kinds of misinformation that will scare you to death.

Until you get tested, there isn't anything else we can tell you.  Go out and enjoy life in the meantime...your chances of being infected are minimal.

[Dunnlopez]

Thank you nurse girl.  To be honest I did feel very ill, but I was scared to buy a thermometer because I felt like if I had a high fever I felt like I for sure would have had HIV because my other symptoms were so similar so I was scared to take my temperature.  Then after two weeks of feeling awful I went to the drug store and bought one.  It is possible that my fever could have dropped during ARS right?  How long does a high fever of 101 last during ARS, can it last up to 2-4 weeks which is the estimated timeframe of ARS?  Do you think the fever would maintain through the entire ARS phase?  I know 99.6-99.8 is not considered a fever right?I know I am probably repeating myself but I am just so worried and I still have a strange feeling of malaise and my muscles continue to twitch.  I know I am asking so many questions but please let me know.  Thanks for everyone's help

Best

[legendariusz]

Dunnlopez,

Stop thinking about it, you are far to deep into it! If I had a fever, I dont think so. I personally find it a bit redicilous that they call such a common thing as fever as a symptom. Average person has a flew every year and a few times around it a dripping nose with a sore throat.

Think wbout the statistics and think about how often you won something reasonable at a lottery. And since this thing is freaking you out so much go and get tested even if it is not completely conclusive but it will be a good indicator and it should calm you down. You can also google where you can do a RNA test, I heard that they detect on a completely different base and can see it after 2 weeks or so. It might be pricy, however I do think that at the moment you are totally not productive and spend your hours day and night searching the internet for an answers, so the price of the test might be worth it, get out of it, get a RNA test, get a antibody test aswell and you will sleep like a baby.   Then to sleep even a bit better you will repeat the test after 3 months.

Relax, meditate a bit and STOP THINKING ABOUT THESE RIDICULOUS ARS NONSENSE even if you had a fewer of 105 degrees could be anything!!!

Maybe you had the Mexican Flew :) and you cured it :)

[Dunnlopez]

Ok thanks legendariusz,

I am thinking about it too much and I am going to get tested tomorrow, a rapid HIV test.  But my flu wouldnt have lasted this long, no way a common flu can last 3-4 weeks correct?

[LIZZIE LOU]

neither does ARS ! ! ! ! !

[Dunnlopez]

Thanks Lizzie Lou,

Really? I have read from many credible sources that it can last from 2-4 weeks.  How long do you think it is supposed to last?  Isnt it different for everyone?

[Teak]

You've never read that anywhere. ARS if one has it comes on 2-4 weeks after exposure and lasts 1-2 weeks.

[Dunnlopez]

I guess there is nothing else to talk about, I need to get tested.  Thanks to all of you guys

Best

[Dunnlopez]

hello everyone,

Isnt it so strange that everyone thinks that they are feeling ARS symptoms after possible exposures.  Do you think it is just anxiety?  If its not anxiety its just strange that so many people may get other viral infections after a potential HIV exposure.

[nursegirl6572]

Enough is enough already.

Of COURSE it is anxiety......read the forum, do searches.  There is a ton of info on this site alone.

A study was done......Out of ALL of the people who went to an ER seeking help for what they think is "ARS"....99+% of them were HIV NEG and their symptoms were related to something else...not HIV.

[Dunnlopez]

I believe you, I'm just saying.  I was anxious at first and then brushed it off thinking there was no way she had HIV, and then these symptoms just kicked in within the typical time frame ARS does and they were pretty vicious to be honest.    Thanks for your help nursegirl

[Carioca29]

You sound just like me, it's actually funny... I have had the same fear for months now, but my hubby thinks I'm crazy. Although I realize I am a little hypochondriac. I have gotten tested in the past to get over my fears and I'm thinking about doing it again, not sure when. So, go ahead and get tested so you can put your fears behind you and be more careful in the future.
Good luck!

[Dunnlopez]

Hello everyone,

Do you guys know if swollen lymph nodes continue through ARS or does the swelling go down by the end of it?  I was just wondering

Best

[nursegirl6572]

* Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to action by MedHelp. Conclusive negative results or a no-risk situation will be based up the criteria MedHelp’s doctors. Action will be taken as follows:
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ENOUGH!!!!!!

[Dunnlopez]

Hello Everyone,

I got my antibody test results yesterday after about 7 or 8 weeks I believe.  It came back negative, I am so relieved.  My doctor is still waiting on the viral load test but he said I am basically in the clear.  Thanks for everyone's support now I am just waiting on the viral load test but I am confident it will be negative, I really hope so.  Thanks everyone

[Teak]

* Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to action by MedHelp. Conclusive negative results or a no-risk situation will be based up the criteria MedHelp’s doctors. Action will be taken as follows:
    * After excessive posting, a warning will be issued by MedHelp
    * Continuing to post regarding the negative result / no risk situation will result in a 3 day suspension
    * Continuing to post upon your return will result in a permanent ban.

ENOUGH!!!!!!

[ConclusiveQ]

.

[Tara2023]

Hi,
Last week I was on vacation, and 2 days before leaving I met a guy! I don't know this guy, and I'll probably never see him again! He said he was tested 4 months ago and he is clean. We had sex 3 times that night, first and 3 rd time everything was fine, condom was properly used, but second time, I think the condom was removed while he was pulling out! I say that because I didn't feel any liquid in my vagina, however the condoms contents leaked on my dress then I felt liquid on the line of my behind (meaning between my but cheeks) I freaked out because I am so careful! But the guy had a look of ... What's the big deal!
He is a construction worker, he was thin but hadstrong looking physic with muscles, however, many ppl with HIV don't show it!
I can't sleep, I can't work, I can't think about anything els! This happened last Friday, and today is Wednesday and I feel I can't wait 3 months to get results!
My questions are, is it true that after 4 weeks one can get tested? How accurate is it? What would the probability, if this guy is HIV +, for me to be infected too?
I do not have symptoms, in anycase I think it's too soon, I only lost my joy for life!